Not A Good Kind Of Pole-Dancing

Man, the news is awesome today. Here’s our latest in the hahahahahahahaha you guys suck files. two prisoners were handcuffed together and they were being led somewhere. They bolted to get away…and then fell down and were pepper sprayed…and then got up, got out the door, got across the street…and then met a pole and …

Did He Flush His Brain Down The Toilet?

Here’s a very stupid guy. If I were him, I’d give up any criminal involvement. It’s safer if he’d just live an honest life because then he won’t have to worry about getting busted. This guy was in a bathroom calling about a drug deal. yeah, the bathroom in a police station. But oh no, …

Goonba’s Pizzeria

Um, eek. Just don’t go to Goomba’s Pizzeria in Daytona Beach. If you do, don’t say that they got your order wrong because the pizzeria’s owner might pistol-whip you over it. the owner looks like quite the idiot, first saying that the surveillance was off and the customer assaulted him, then when the police found …

Baby You Can Drive…Somebody’s Car

I’ve never committed fraud in my day, but if I were the type to sell cars I didn’t own to pick up some extra cash, I’m pretty sure I’d know better than to rent cars with my own credit card and sign all the fake bills of sale with my real name. Pretty sure I’d …

Shoplift ‘Til You Drop Evidence

Hey LaKeitha Watson-Atkinson, how the hell did you manage to shove 6 purses into your pants? That’s impressive. More impressively, how did you manage to get smoked by your getaway car twice? Even more, how did you not end up seriously injured right there? But the funniest part is even though you managed to get …

Want To Kill Your Husband? There’s A Visine For That

Wow, some people are just sick. Take Tonia Peterson. She tried to kill her husband by pouring half a bottle of Visine eye drops into his tea. She had heard that it could kill him. Apparently, it can be pretty deadly. But all she managed to give him was stomach problems. Then apparently she kept …

You Wanna Go Where Everybody Knows Part Of Your Name

Port St. Lucie woman says ex-boyfriend rides up on bike, snatches wig I’m drawn to this story not because of what happened, but because of this part right here: Investigators found the victim’s hair in “disorder.” She said she and the alleged wig-snatcher lived together for eight months. She knew his first name, but apparently …