This is one of the weirdest burglaries I’ve ever seen. Should I call it a burglary, or a wacky office-rearranging job? He does take stuff, like change, a laptop, some other random items, but sometimes he puts other items in place of the ones he stole. In one case, he took water bottles and moved …
Category Archives: master criminals
Another One Crosses the Victim/Dumbass Bridge In A New Way
I swear criminals are getting dumber. Here’s our latest dumbass. His name is Michael Axel, and he was serving as a stockbroker for a bunch of elderly clients. I guess their money looked way too tempting, so he started stealing from them. But where did that money go? Overseas to a Nigerian scammer. Michael Axel, …
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Now I Know Why They Call It The Loser Cruiser
There’s a reason you’ve always heard of a getaway car and not a getaway bus. Yeah, he didn’t even steal a school bus or something. After stealing beer from a convenience store, he waited outside the store at the bus stop for the bus. Dude, I think you would have been better off using your …
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May I Speak To Stupid, Please?
Wow. I have to hope that this was Christopher Kron’s first burglary. That has to be the reason he would ignore a really loud burglar alarm, walk towards the cameras while stealing only a bottle of booze, answer the phone, and when it was the security company, give his real name, and when he managed …
Today’s Handy Criminal Tip
If you plan to tell the cops that you are not who they think you are, it’s best to first make sure thatyou do not have your last name tattooed on the side of your head.Do I make myself clear, Sterling F. Wolfname?
>A Different Boob-Inspector
>Nice try, bud, but I’m relieved it didn’t work. Maybe the only reason it didn’t was his fake business card had no name. A guy came into a porn shop and demanded sex videos for free because he was a police detective and wanted to verify the ages of the participants…yeah, that’s it. It didn’t …
They Do Say The Guilty Always Sleep, But Isn’t That Supposed To Be After They Get Caught?
When I first saw this story, I didn’t care about it, but upon closer inspection, I can’t stop laughing. I laughed so hard that Steve wondered what was so goddamn funny. Well, what do you think of the image of a couple of drunken fools breaking into a store, stealing a bunch of patio furniture, …
Smart Girl, Dumb Dude
What kind of dumbass would rape a woman and then give her his phone number? Michael K. Mahoney, that’s what kind. He’s also the kind of dumbass who would bite his mother on the breast area over baseball cards and hide behind a partition during his arraignment. What I really want to know is what …
BYOGD
Here’s your free advice for the day. If you’re planning on robbing a place or 2, it’s a good idea to bring your own getaway vehicle. Police said, early Friday morning, John Opperman-Green robbed a 7-Eleven on Orange Blossom Trail. When he left the store, he tried to get a ride with some men he …
So I Guess They Didn’t Make The Sale Then?
Marcel Perot is a smooth operator. He decided to take a truck for a test drive. The salesman came with him, as he drove to the bank. He said he needed money to buy the truck. Well, I guess he did. But when he went in the bank, he decided to get his money by …
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