https://twitter.com/DesMoinesPolice/status/1047553568872443904 Is this a better or worse counterfeiting job than that time a dude somehow managed to pass a $200 bill featuring pictures of the White House and George W. Bush as well as the words “We like ice cream” and “USA deserves a tax cut” written on it? At least this time the clerk …
Category Archives: master criminals
Social Security, Maximum Security, What’s The Difference
I didn’t think it was possible, but I do believe I’ve found something even dumber than having your own name tattooed on yourself whilst being a criminal. That something? Having your Social Security number tattooed on yourself whilst being a criminal. At least with your name, there’s a chance the police might be thrown off …
Continue reading “Social Security, Maximum Security, What’s The Difference”
So You’re Telling Me Her License Is Suspended? But She’s Such A Careful Driver!
I’ve seen so many dumb criminal stories over the years that it generally takes something going pretty spectacularly wrong to get my attention anymore, but now and then a simple event like the one detailed in this Ontario Provincial Police news release just strikes me the right way at the right time and I can’t …
Continue reading “So You’re Telling Me Her License Is Suspended? But She’s Such A Careful Driver!”
Put The Money In The Bag. Sure, But Put Your License Through The Machine
This is normally where I’d call David Menser an imbecile, but honestly, he might just be an average guy. Why? Because on the one hand he was smart enough to remove the dye pack from the stack of money he got from the bank teller he was robbing, but on the other, that ended up …
Continue reading “Put The Money In The Bag. Sure, But Put Your License Through The Machine”
Let It Snow Let It Snow Let It…woe!
I don’t know how many admitted shoplifters we have reading this, but a question for you in case you exist. How common is it for someone to spend seven hours in the same store filling up a cart with things he plans to take? I always picture shoplifting being something that happens fairly quickly. You …
Turns Out The Old Saying About Bringing A Knife To A Gunfight Is Probably True
I’m not a big fan of guns in general. Unless you’re planning to shoot something for the purposes of eating it or protecting something that’s going to be eaten later, I don’t feel like there are many good reasons for needing one. But that’s not to say that they absolutely never have a purpose. Now …
Continue reading “Turns Out The Old Saying About Bringing A Knife To A Gunfight Is Probably True”
Safety First
Whether Floridians behave like meth users or meth users behave like Floridians will probably always remain a mystery, but of one thing we can definitely be certain: the ones that make the news most often aren’t going to be the best or the brightest. They may, if 49-year-old Douglas Kelly has his way about it, …
Put The Money In The Bag. I’ll Be Outside Double Checking, So Don’t Try Anything
Bank robbery pretty clearly is not for Michael Gale Nash. Not only did he whip out the old write your hold-up note on a paper with your name and birthday written on the other side of it gimmick, but then he didn’t even bother running away once he got his money from a disproportionately frightened …
Continue reading “Put The Money In The Bag. I’ll Be Outside Double Checking, So Don’t Try Anything”
The Dashcam Giveth And The Dashcam Taketh Away
Note to Xavier Moran: If you own one of those dashcams that records everything, there’s more than a slim chance that the word everything means exactly what you’d think it would. This is important, because not only will it have the good evidence on it that will prove you weren’t at fault in that car …
Continue reading “The Dashcam Giveth And The Dashcam Taketh Away”
Who Was That Masked Man? It Was Kerry
Update: Somewhere between me hitting publish on this and going to the site to make double sure that I hadn’t messed anything up, the second Facebook post went from looking for him to noting that he was captured. Never underestimate the power of the Vomit Comet. Original post: Police in Georgia are looking for Kerry …