Meet Scarface And His Owner Scartorso

There is so much about this story that makes me go “wow.” First, somebody had a pit bull and they named it Scarface. To me, this sounds like they think of him as kind of mean. Maybe picking the name was random, or he had a weird scar on his face for some innocent reason …

No Word On If He Was On The Sauce At The Time

Arrested in January for robbing a pizza delivery man of a couple of pizzas and $25 at gunpoint are Logan Alexander and more importantly for our purposes, Sheldon Cheese. The victim, whose name was not released, was delivering the pizzas Tuesday to Cheese and his friend, Logan Alexander, 18, of Littlestown, Pa., at a location …

Somebody’s Living Up To His Name Again

Perhaps you recall Dr. Jake Heiney, who was charged with and subsequently convicted of doing unauthorized things to the body parts for which he is named while he was supposed to be practising medicine. Well, he’s in the news again, this time for acting like one of those body parts for which he is named, …

Put Your Best Foot, Or At Least A Few Inches, Woodward

All that Patrick R. Marsh wanted was something we’ve all wanted at one time or another, I think. To “obtain” a little “courtship” from a lovely young thing on a warm summer day. Nothing wrong with that. No, nothing at all. Nor is there anything wrong with injecting a touch of creativity into your romantic …

He’s Out Of His Tree, Yet Very Much In It

If you’re going to study traffic patterns or perform some art or whatever else it is you might do while you block the road in the middle of downtown dressed up like a tree, Asher Woodworth is a pretty convenient real name to be sporting while you do it. This tree blocked traffic on Congress …

There’s Gold In Them Thar Holes

The story of Leston Lawrence, the former Royal Canadian Mint employee accused of pocketing nearly $180,000 by keistering gold pucks has been all over the news today. But in all the coverage, one fact, albeit quite a childish one, seems to have flown under the radar. Lawrence’s trial, on charges that include theft, laundering the …

Hey Officer, Check Out My Baton

I’m not even sure where to start with this, so I’m just going to lay out what we have here. We have a fellow who admitted that on at least two occasions, he exposed himself to municipal bus drivers in Seattle. As a result of this admission and the conviction on two counts of indecent …