And now, your semi-regular reminder to stay off the drugs. Responding to 911 calls about a pair of “white males running around the lot taking off their clothes,” Warren City Police Department cops Friday morning encountered Timothy Cook, 32, who reportedly had been “growling and punching the cement.” Cook, a witness told officers, had entered …
Category Archives: names
Spread Your You, Sir!
Recently hit with two felony charges of possession of cocaine with intent to deliver and maintaining a drug trafficking place as a repeat offender was Willneal D. Cheeks. Guess where the police say they found his stash. According to the criminal complaint, Racine Police executed a search warrant at Cheeks’ residence at about 5 a.m. …
He’s Going To Be A Real Hit In Prison With A Name Like That
Recently convicted of gross sexual imposition and tampering with records after a trial in which it was alleged that he groped various female patients during orthopedic exams is Dr. Jake Heiney. And yes, those were among the things he groped. During Heiney’s trial, a 42-year-old woman testified that the doctor pushed and squeezed her breasts …
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We’d Like You To Do One Of Those Things, Sir. But Please, Not The First One
If not for the location, I’d likely have passed this one over since there’s really not a lot going on here. At about 2:30 pm Monday, there was a report of a male masturbating inside the Kum and Go at 418 South Federal Avenue. The male allegedly exposed himself to at least one person inside …
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Hi, Miss. Wait, Make That High, Miss
If winning a game of name bingo came with lots of cash and fabulous prizes, I might be rich right now. Why? Well, because Police in Pottstown were asked to conduct a welfare check on a woman named Sara High at a motel on High Street, that’s why. It didn’t go well, in case you …
Sir, Which Of The Things We Found In Your Car Did You Say You Were Named After Again?
There are a number of reasons why I might want to post this story. Our hero speeding past a couple of cops sitting in front of a police station so he could get to court on time is one. Double parking in spaces he’s not supposed to park in in the first place once he …
You Can Be Assured Of A Great Experience And Overall Satisfaction When You Choose Megabus.com
My first thought when I saw the headline Passenger Arrested For Masturbating “Up To Three Hours” During Megabus Trip was damn, that’s got to be some kind of record. Turns out The Smoking Gun thinks so too, and if they think it’s a record, it’s probably a record. They’re pretty good at this stuff. So …
For The Second Time Today, Don’t Dink And Drive
Thankfully nobody died this time. A Georgia motorist was masturbating when he plowed his vehicle into a van that had stopped at an intersection, police report. According to cops, Donald Marvin Johnson, 63, was “physically distracted” while driving his Saturn Ion Monday morning in Martinez, an Augusta suburb. Johnson was “following too closely” when he …
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Gin And Spruce
I’ve been sitting here for far too long trying to think up more tree jokes and nothing’s getting done, so let’s just start reading the story of Maryann Christy and her traveling companion and go from there. Christy was nabbed in late-January after a Roselle Police Department officer spotted her driving with the tree as …
What Did You Say Your Name Was? Hardon?
Sometimes this stuff is way too easy. According to a SLED affidavit dated Feb. 18, Officer Marshall Lee Hardin, II was in his parked patrol car at Woodward Park on Ballpark Road back on Dec. 13, 2015. Hardin, the affidavit continues, was watching pornography on his personal phone when he performed a sex act on himself …