If there’s anything that isn’t super annoying about Doug Ford lately, I can’t find it. Even when I was starting to kinda get on board with his patriotic fight for Canada against Trump gimmick, he had to go and ruin it by admitting, to what should be no one’s surprise, that he was happy Trump …
Category Archives: news
Definitely Going To Fool Them
“Ok now. Before we leave, I have to ask. Did you remember to properly label the drugs bag?” “You mean the definitely not drugs bag? Of course!” “That’s right! We can’t be driving around looking as dumb as those bag full of drugs guys.” “Nope. We’re way smarter than that! No way in hell we’re …
Costly Government I Don’t Want Calls Costly Election None Of Us Needs
Premier Doug Ford confirms he will call snap Ontario election next week Ontario Premier Doug Ford plans to call a snap election Wednesday, using the threat of 25 per cent tariffs from U.S. President Donald Trump to justify his early call. That election call would send Ontarians to the polls on Feb. 27, more than …
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Somebody Must Really Hate This Guy
Man shot to death in Newark for second straight night
No OnionWars For Now
I was very, very excited when it was first announced that The Onion was going to be buying InfoWars. But it looks like I’ll have to put a lid on that excitement for now, because a judge has just rejected the bid on procedural and transparency grounds. The door isn’t closed on the Onion folks …
If The Justice System Doesn’t Get Him, The Afterlife Might
I’m not a believer, but I often find these sorts of coincidences funny. It’s as though if there is a god, he’s making sure people know to keep their hands off his shit. Theft is only for evangelists, dammit! A drunken thief was injured after falling on the sword of a statue of St. Michael …
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Thanks For Your Help, Said Both Sides Of The Equation
Our boy made a couple of mistakes here. If you’re going to shoplift at Walmart, maybe leave the 37 pounds of marijuana at home instead of in the trunk of your car. If for some reason you haven’t done that, definitely don’t give your key fob to the police when they offer to help you …
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Gosh Darn It, I Forgot To Bring A Reusable Again. How Silly Of Me
Though I understand the impulse to get annoyed when all you want is one simple bag in which you can carry one simple thing and you can’t have one, this seems like a slight overreaction. Seems like some Olympic level grudge holding, too. At around 10:30 p.m. Saturday, the driver slammed the car into the …
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InfoWars To Finally Become Something Of Value
I cannot wait for this. The Onion, the satirical news company that repeatedly spoofed conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, has won the bankruptcy auction for control over his media empire — most notably InfoWars, the far-right, conspiracy-minded website that served as Jones’ primary online platform. The Onion plans to shutter Jones’ InfoWars and rebuild the website …
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I Really need To Be Mad About This, But I Can’t Afford The Outrage Fee
You really do learn something new every day. I, for example, just learned that in many parts of the United States there exists something called a rental application fee, and that those words mean exactly what they sound like they mean. I shouldn’t be because if there’s a way to rip a customer off a …
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