All Is Well At The Animal Prison

I have breaking news, everyone. The orangutan that got out of its enclosure at the Toronto Zoo this week did not escape. It merely “accessed an area just outside of its habitat.” Phew! That was close! The oddest part about that sentence is that there were no quotes around it until I put them there, …

Cut It Out! You’re Bugging Me! Clean Up Your Act!

Call me crazy if you’d like, but for some reason I have a feeling that this unseasoned chicken thing isn’t the first time that this family has had a night like this. When Deputy Kyle Burns and Corporal Simpson arrived, they were told the situation began when Anthony Harper was asked “why he didn’t season …

Somewhere, Someone Is Kicking Himself For Only Asking For Six Grand

Stories about bank scams are getting to be a lot like stories about fireworks. It’s hard to find a really good one especially now that scammers have gotten more sophisticated and are able to fool people much more easily without a lot of those people having to be astoundingly dumb. But that doesn’t mean that …

Meanwhile, Walkoff Made It Down Without Incident

This is very sad especially since she sounds like such a lovely person, but I can’t lie to you people. Even in my older, mellower state, someone named Rohloff…well…rolling off is still going to get a laugh and a post out of me. By the time Grace Rohloff reached the top of Half Dome, smiling …