Good lord. When summoned to a place where shots were fired, before calling in a swat team and evacuating the neighbourhood, maybe police should knock on the door. I guess the shooters went to sleep, police phoned them but they didn’t answer, so they set up outside, called in the big guns and moved all …
Category Archives: news
That For Better Or Worse Part Is About to Get Tested
As I read this story, I can feel my shoulders slumping. At a wedding, the newlyweds’ dog got in a fight with another guy’s dog, the other guy started yelling at the couple, went and got a gun and shot them and 2 other people in the wedding party. The happy couple is now in …
Continue reading “That For Better Or Worse Part Is About to Get Tested”
Panties For Peace
I simultaneously think this is hilarious, awesome, and doomed to fail. Yup, I’m a big fat pessimist. There’s a new way that human rights activists are trying to help folks in Burma. The campaign is called Panties for peace! Nope, you’re not hallucinating, I wrote that down. This is the plan. Canadian women wanting to …
Of All The Things To Copycat…
I’m not sure what got into the water last weekend, but hot on the heels ofthe German eBabycomes the story of a couple from Vancouver wholisted their “very cute” week-old baby on Craigslistbecause, they say, they couldn’t afford to keep her. Just like yesterday, the couple is claiming that the post was a hoax. And …
The Love For Objects Saga Continues
Oh brother. Now we have a whole flock of women making love to objects. One of them has given this disorder a name, Objectum Sexuality. Ok then. A bunch of them have Aspergers Syndrome, kinda like Autism Junior, which might explain it, but I don’t know. But apparently this disorder only happens to women. So …
Not Too Sharp
Sweet Christ, what’s wrong with people!? There is a pretty good chance that a 150-year-old tree known as the Monkey puzzle might be cut downbecause people might get poked by its needlesand get hurt. Yes, this story does come from the UK, how’d you know? One expert likened the effect of the needles to being …
Haw Haw Haw Haw Haw!
A dipshit German couple has had their 8-month-old baby taken into state custody and are facing possible charges of child trafficking afterlisting the boy for sale on eBayover the weekend. According to Reuters, a number of people contacted German authorities after spotting the offer on eBay. “Baby–collection only,” the post read. “Offering my nearly new …
That’s The Best He Can Come Up With?
Toronto Mayor David Miller hasannounced plansto ban shooting ranges and gun clubs because he thinks closing them down will help put an end to gun violence in the city. Of course he’s absolutely right, because history has unquestionably shown how dangerous Olympic athletes and gun collecting hobbyists have been to our existence over the years. …
Obey Your Thirst, Except When Riding A Horse!
I have so many questions about this story. Juliet Brown, 9, was riding a horse with her dad. She got thirsty, so they stopped and got a pop. When she opened it, the horse spooked, bucked her off and dragged her for a mile and a half. Not surprisingly, the poor kid died. So now …
Continue reading “Obey Your Thirst, Except When Riding A Horse!”
Well Who You Callin’ Moon Pie, My Real Name Is Michael…
That’s a new one. Is it good enough to belong in the oompa loompas/Egypt-obsessed stranglers/drunken stuffed dog-screwers/teddy-bear plant stand shrines files? I’m not sure, but it’s weird. Picture this old guy in a convenience store buying some stuff. As he leaves, he gets ker smucked in the shoulder by a random yellow bag. It happens …
Continue reading “Well Who You Callin’ Moon Pie, My Real Name Is Michael…”