Some of you might remember thestory of Pat Dykstra,the woman who called 911 from behind the wheel of her car to report that she was too drunk to drive. Well, strange as it sounds, and to me it sounds quite strange because I can’t remember 1 case of this in my lifetime let alone 2 …
Category Archives: news
I’m Starting To Really Hate Tim Hortons
From the company that brought youlet’s try to run a charity cafe out of businessand le’ts fire a nice lady because she had the nerve to give an infant a free Timbit comes another blockbuster. Introducinglet’s not allow pregnant homeless people to eat in our stores and follow Good Samaritans around after they’ve left so …
Yes He Does
Arrested Tuesday for calling 911 15 times in the same night because he couldn’t get a cab quickly enough isKevin Lewis Waits. Bonus: The theft of service charge he’s facing probably stems from his not having enough money to pay the taxi that had come for him by the time the cops arrived.
And Like Magic, Everybody Looks Dumb
We have an update on the wizard supply teacher, this one even more disconcerting than the first story, but for different reasons. The first story said Jim Piculas was fired for wizardry. Now this story claims there’s more, and I can understand some of it being somewhat more serious. I’m still not sure if immediate …
Baby You Can Drive My Car
Since we’ve somehow gotten into the habit of following things like this, it’s time for another exciting (yes I used that word intentionally) instalment of Stuff People Hump. This time the perpetrator is 18-year-old Callum Ainsworth of Kilwinning in the UK, and his victim isa car. Callum Ainsworth, 18, is accused of running along a …
Those MySpace Safety Features Are Turning Out Great
I’m not the kind of person you’d normally find defending somebody who had sex with a 13-year-old girl, but you know what they say about every rule having an exception. And if there was ever a time for an exception to be made, I think this is it. Morris Williams, 22, has beensentencedto 5 years …
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What’s That, Lassie? Timmie Fell Down The Well?
I’ve always wondered if it’s possible to figure out what Trix is thinking. Now, apparently there is something that can analyze barks. Israeli prisons are using it to interpret their guard dogs’ barks. But what I find more disturbing than the fact that they’ve invested all this money in technology that analyzes sample barks which …
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If I Told You You Had Alcohol In Your Beautiful Body, Would You Get Into My Official Looking Car Under Threat Of Arrest?
Michael Myers might want to consider working on the art of picking up chicks a little more. The 32-year-old Kentucky man is facing a felony charge of impersonating a police officer after an incident early Saturday morning during which he attempted to get a woman into his car, threatening her with jail if she didn’t …
Ever Heard Of A Bathroom Break?
Why do we need to play videogames using our pee? Well, it’s more about aiming the pee, but good god. And even worse, you’re playing it with a fellow pisser. Oh my my my.
>Maniac In The Making, Or Imaginative Gun Nut?
>I’m completely conflicted about this story. Steven Barber was in a creative writing course at Wise College. He was asked to write a short story. He did, and it was full of talk of suicide and murder, with some Virginia Tech references sprinkled in there. Oh, and the dude who got murdered in his story …
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