I’m sure most of you reading these words already know this, but for the benefit of everybody else, here’s a helpful tip from your friends at Vomit Comet World HQ. If your plan is to get drunk with some friends and then take a stolen canoe out for a joyride, it’s a good idea to …
Category Archives: news
I Hope These Kids Aren’t Home Schooled
How this woman’s children have lived to be 16 and 21 and how she made it all the way to 43 are a complete mystery to me, but it’s another example of my long held belief thatyou can’t kill the truly stupid. Woman Hurt Stepping Out of Moving Car According to the Saline County Sheriff’s …
I’m Not Sure What’s Weirder, The Actions Or The Reporting Of The Actions
I’m having one of those there has to be more to the story moments here. By all accounts, Matthew Evans was a pretty bright kid. Good grades, involved in lots of different activities, well liked by those around him. So it makes no sense that the following line would appear in an article about him. …
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Calling All Grammarians
For some reason, one sentence inthis little news storyhas been driving me nuts since Sunday. Why no, I do not have a life, why do you ask? Anyway, read this and see if anything strikes you as odd. The cyclist was ejected from the bike and suffered injuries to his lower left leg, scrapes and …
Lessons You Shouldn’t Need To Learn
Bonnie Ashley says she wasn’t dumb, she was desperate when she got married 11 times, each ending in divorce, and the last three marriages/divorces were with the same man. But I can’t help but disagree with her. Let’s look at a few choice quotes from the desperate woman herself. “I was desperate, not dumb,” Ashley …
Hurt In a Car? Don’t Call Brian Loncar!
Woops. It’s never good when you’re a personal injury lawyer, your specialty is helping people with lawsuits to do with being hurt in car accidents, andyou cause one by not yielding to a fire-engine, and you’re the worst hurt. Hopefully Brian Loncar doesn’t try to sue himself, since he appears to be the negligent one. …
Was It A Winner?
I guess Ronald D. Wittenberg will never know because he was trying to scratch it off while walking down train tracks and…scratch scratch scratch…he never heard the horn blowing…scratch scratch scratch…from the train…scratch scratch scratch…as it blew for 45 seconds straight…scratch scratch scratch…as it came up from behind him…scratch scratch scratch…and got him! They never …
>It’s A Legal Matter, Baby…Or Is It?
>Here’s a quick note to girls everywhere. Don’t date Lance R. Stelzer. If you do, and then things go bad, he may sue you. If that’s not bad enough, in the discovery phase, he may ask for things like: “Each and every page of your ‘journal’ which mentions, references, or contains name Lance R. Stelzer.” …
>The Most Successful Failure Ever
>So, the moral of the story of William Topaz McGonagall is even if you suck heartily, and people throw rotten fruit at you as you recite your horrid poetry, keep going in your suckalicious fashion, because when you die, people will love you for your complete lack of self-doubt in the face of tons of …
Enjoy Your New Penis, And Don’t Forget To Thank The Guy Who Gave His Life For It
Thismakes me angry almost beyond words. The Ontario government has announced that it will resume covering sex-change operations under it’s health insurance plan in the near future. This is the same health insurance plan that does not cover things such as eye exams, not to mention the same health insurance plan that had my family …
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