Ya know, if you’re going to call a friend at midnight to announce that you killed all the bad guys in your videogame by saying “I have killed them all”,ya might wanna triple check that you’re dialing the right number, Especially if you’re Thomas Ballard, who has an outstanding warrant for his arrest. It wasn’t …
Category Archives: news
Let Me Tell Ya ‘Bout The Birds And The Bees…Cuz It’s My Job Now
Quebec education reforms cutting back sex ed Sweeping Quebec education reform is eliminating class time for sex ed and asking teachers to talk about the birds and bees in all classes, from math to gym. Math to gym? Well ok, Gym I can kind of understand because hey, sex is exercise, but math? What’s that …
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I Wonder What Kind Of Knife He Used
File this one under close enough. Charged with attempted murder among other things for stabbing his roommate during an argument isTimothy Stilletto.
What A Load Of…What’s The Word I’m Looking For?
If I were to do a bunch of research, then decide to publish that research and hope for it to be taken seriously, I would strongly consider not putting my own name on it. At least that would be the plan if my name happened to beDr. William Malarkey.
Sometimes The Lawyer Jokes Write Themselves
This story rules for 2 reasons. 1.The Manitoba Bar Association says that it can’t afford to hire a lawyer,which is high comedy.2. The president of the Manitoba Bar Association is named Mike Law, which is also pretty great.
I Guess The Classes Aren’t Working
A 27-year-old man is facing up to 120 days worth of jail time after an incident that saw him assault a 59-year-old woman and hit a 63-year-old man with his anger management homework. Justin Boudin, 27, was on his way to an anger management class when he assaulted a 59-year-old woman at a bus stop. …
Duuuuuude. Look At The Size Of That Rock
A top academic says Moses was high on hallucinogenic drugs when he received the Ten Commandments from God. Maybe this explains the whole wandering around for years in the desert thing too.
How Much Is That Doggie In The OH MY DEAR GOD!!!
City government in Amsterdam has announced plans to allow both gay and straight couples to have sex in public at a place called the Vondelpark, which hosts over 10 million visitors each year. The plan has caused the outrage you would expect, but rather than coming from so-called morality crusaders like it would around here, …
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Now There’s A Hateful Kid
Something tells me that fifth-grader Tony Immediato may have some issues. I mean, we all might have strange fantasies about our school principal, but to say that you hope it snows and birds peck at him when he spends the night on the roof as a school spirit stunt to a newspaper reporter is kind …
Reason Number 2…No 4…No Make It 18 Why Our Legal System Needs An Overhaul
Our legal system absolutely baffles me sometimes. I could probably go on and on for days about all the reasons why, but today I’ll just stick to one that particularly gets on my nerves. I do not, and likely never will, understand the purpose of giving 2 for 1 credit during sentencing to people who …
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