I’ve learned two things from this story. 1. If you find yourself in Florida with the urge to steal money from someone, make sure you just don’t take it by force or directly from their hands. So if you can distract them, that envelope of girl scout cookie money is fair game. 2. There are …
Category Archives: news
We Will BE Beginning Our Descent Into Madness Shortly…
Picture this. You get on a plane in Toronto, bound for London, England. Things are all good, until you see someone being pinned down by crew-members near the galley of the plane. It’s the co-pilot! For unknown reasons, he just went insane, screaming that he wanted to speak to god. Thankfully, the plane was diverted …
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Eeewww! Get Away! You Might Give Me Cooties!
If you’re in court, and you find out you’re going before Judge Jon-Jo Douglas, you can hang your head and crry because he’s an ignorant prick. There is no better way to describe a judge who, once he found out a witness had HIV and Hepatitis C, freaked out, demanded he wear a mask, ordered …
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Sobering Consequences
When you’ve been drinking, decide to drive home, but then think it’s a bad idea, do you…a. stop and call a cab?b. let someone else drive?c. Stay somewhere?or… d. call 911 and say you might need some help because you’re too intoxicated to drive? If you chose D, welcome to the Pat Dykstra club. Strangely …
Haw Haw Haw, You Really Got Me There
You’d think that of all the people who should know that pretending to break into somebody’s house as a joke is a dumb idea, a police officer would be right at the top of the list, but apparently not. Perhaps the bullet the doctors had to dig out of his stomach will serve as a …
Was There Nothing Else Going On That Day?
Car chases happen all the time, but rarely does it take2240 officers, 460 police cars and a helicopterto catch one guy, and nobody seems to know why this one did. But here’s the best part. After all that time and I guess effort, the guy wound up basically catching himself when he hit a bridge …
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We Do Not Run An Opinionated Blog
Beauty pageant dumps tarot card reading judge I know I shouldn’t, but I find it somewhat odd that an organization claiming to have no religious slant is getting so worked up over something so trivial in such a religious fashion. When you send somebody a letter saying “tarot card reading is witchcraft and is used …
Anatomy Of An Asshole
Charles Smith has begun his testimony at the inquiry looking into his work, and from the looks of things, he’s not doing much to up his standing in the hearts and minds of the public. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this piece of…work, he was, at one time, considered one of the …
Sing Sing Singing A Different Tune
Now there’s a sucky day. A guy broke into a minimart, but was scared off by police. He ran and ran and ran…and ran onto the grounds of Sing Sing State Prison! Woops! Needless to say, he’s not running anymore. A guard got him, and off he went to jail. But you know what his …
Craig’s Hit List
Here’s another one for the You’re stupid files. Ann Marie Linscott decided that the wife of a man with whom she had an affair must die. But who was going to do it? She decided to find the hitman by posting an ad on Craigslist, the popular buy and sell site. She didn’t exactly say …