Here I go again, ragging on Britain. But in this case, I think they deserve a whole hell of a lot more. A junior official decided that the best way to send two computer disks full of the bank account and personal info of every British citizen receiving the child benefit, i.e. every family in …
Category Archives: news
Deado the Clown
Wow. It seems our dear old buddy Klutzo the clown, i.e. pedo the clown, is now dead from a taser shot. Man, there’s been a lot of taser deaths lately. It sounds like this guy was quite the fighter. I mean, he got two tasings in one day! Ok, buddy, learn that if you fight …
Phew! That Makes Me Feel So Much Better!
Wow. We have now found out that our anesthesiologist prick with too few needles didn’t use the same needle. He used several, and used them over and over and over. And that makes it sooo much better. We do have his name now, though. It’s Dr. Harvey Finkelstein.
It’s Not Me, Eh, Sir!
Wow. This is just dumb. Police are looking for Anthony Johnson, a black dude. Somehow, they get his license number mixed up with that of Andrew Johnson, a white dude, and Andrew Johnson gets grabbed. He’s released, but his license is suspended until he can prove that he isn’t Anthony Johnson! Hellooo! How hard is …
Passed Out Where? In A What? With A Who?
A dude breaks into a garage, then gets scared off to a neighbour’s garage, where he steals a mountain bike, a lawn mower, a stuffed toy and a blanket, returns to the first garage, and is found two hours later passed out in a boat with his pants down next to the now anatomically correct …
Suddenly, $35 Doesn’t Seem Like That Much
Just picture the complete suckery that a day like the one described in this story would entail. It definitely outsucks subjecting your taste-buds to a vegan brownie! Man is mugged at gas station, man chases after mugger in his car, man gets out to chase him on foot leaving keys in ignition, completely unrelated men …
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He’s No Nerd?
My mom used to think I was weird because I figured out a system where I could calculate what day of the week a given date was in a certain year. um, er, I think I’ve been beaten. I would be arrogant to even say that if you could quantify our weird abilities, that that …
Roachbots?
I’m going to look like a conspiracy theorist, but this is just weird. A bunch of Washington scientists built robo-cockroaches and sent them out to see if they could infiltrate and influence real ones. They had to spray them with pheromones to fool the little crawling critters, but they did it. They say it’s to …
No Really, the Mice Were Part Of The Presentation.
Gees, with the amount of money people pay to have desserts at this eatery, you’d think the eatery could afford to call an exterminator. Nope, so it’s shut down. No one will be buying $25000-sundaes anymore. Jesus! $25000? Why? You’re going to eat it! I know it has eddible gold and the finest cocoa, but…you’re …
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That Would Suck Ass!
*shiver* I’ll never think of pool drains the same way. Some of them have the power to suck your intestines through your ass? Ugugugug!