Of all the sites on the internet, this is one.
I’m not a believer, but I often find these sorts of coincidences funny. It’s as though if there is a god, he’s making sure people know to keep their hands off his shit. Theft is only for evangelists, dammit! A drunken thief was injured after falling on the sword of a statue of St. Michael …
Continue reading “If The Justice System Doesn’t Get Him, The Afterlife Might”
Five people have been killed and 10 wounded in Gaza when a parachute on a humanitarian airdrop package failed to deploy properly and the parcel fell on them, a witness has said. The casualties were taken to Gaza City’s Al-Shifa hospital, the emergency room’s head nurse, Mohammed al-Sheikh, said. The airdrop took place north of …
Continue reading “We’re From The Government And We’re Here To Help”
Here’s one for Carin. As we’ve mentioned, she loves these. Make her day, they do. A 20-year-old man nearly lost his life getting stung thousands of times by bees after accidentally cutting into a nest while tree trimming. Austin Bellamy remains on a ventilator in a medically induced coma at the University of Cincinnati Medical …
Continue reading “I Think I’ll Listen To Some Sting And Go To Sleep For A While”
I don’t go on a lot of international vacations (I haven’t left Canada since 1994), but the next time I do I’m definitely springing for the health insurance if it’s offered. I would hate to be caught unprepared for, say, an extremely venomous snout cobra making a snack out of my goolies while I’m minding …
There is an update to the story of Gary Van Ryswyk, the elderly gentleman who messed up an in-home castration surgery on a fellow he met on a eunuch website, nearly causing the poor guy to bleed to death. He pleaded no contest to the charges he faced and will be spending a couple of …
Never lie to your doctor. If you’ve somehow managed to lose a phone cable up your dong, just say so. Any embarrassment you may suffer will almost certainly pale in comparison to the week of unnecessary pain you’ll go through while they try to figure out why they can’t find the headphones you said you …
As someone who has been renting apartments for a shade over two decades now (sweet Jesus I’m old), I feel confident when I say that there are many, and I do mean many, ways of dealing with a noisy neighbour that are superior to shooting yourself in the face. A Phoenix man is in extremely …
Continue reading “Gob Blabbit, I Thed Gleeb Id Dowd Ub Dere! Ad Gall Be Ad Abulamfe!”
I’m struggling to figure out how a castration performed in the home of a 74-year-old man with no surgical training whom you met on a eunuch fetish website could go right, but going wrong? No problem there. That’s an easy one. Responding to a Florida residence late Sunday night following a 911 hang-up call, police …
Not sure what this fella is so bent out of shape about. He paid $150 for a “full contact experience” with a black leopard, and he would be the first one in line to tell you that he got one. The attack happened at a backyard animal sanctuary in Davie, Fla., on Aug. 31, according …
A couple items worth noting from the Record’s latest OPP Roundup. On Sept. 4 at 2:30 p.m., police saw a motorist using a cellphone while driving on Highway 401 in Thames Centre, near London. When they pulled over the car, police found $800,000 worth of dried, packaged cannabis and $130,000 in cash. A Toronto man, …