Um, ow. Rance Johnson found out that it’s not a good idea to smuggle a 5-inch plastic knife in his rectum. What’s even weirder is he’d had it there for 3 weeks before complaining of pain and having it surgically removed. He is now being charged with having a concealed weapon. It was sure concealed …
Category Archives: fuck fuckity fuck fuck ouch
The Plants Are Sharper Than The Humans
The idea of a guy shooting down a saguaro cactus just for something to do kills me, especially when the cactus fell on the shooter, killing him. Ha ha ha David Grundman and James Joseph Suchochi, but especially David Grundman, who shot the cactus and died. Those things can weigh 8 tons. Do you really …
Nuts Kicking Nuts
Good lord! That’s horrible! If you’re a man living in Langley, B.C., for the love of pete, shield your nuts! There’s a woman out there kicking random men in the balls so hard that one of them lost a testicle! She kicked them so hard, one went up in his abdomen and ruptured! And there …
It’s Finger Charrin’ Bad
Wholly fucking crap! That was my reaction upon readingthis,which could very well be the peak of the food feuds tag. The story goes that Mohamed Wahani asked roommate Sahal Said to buy some chicken for him. Said did, but he apparently bought a whole one instead of a quarter. This so infuriated Wahani that after …
And This Little Piggy Went Ow Ow Ow Ow All The Way From the Doctors
I know doing long long marathons can hurt the toenails, but do a lot of people really think of having them permanently removed? Ow ow ow ow ow! Acid poured on the nail beds? Ow oo ee eeee! I think the grossest picture is that of people who only have the mangled ones removed, so …
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When Ya Gotta Go, Ya Gotta Take A Zappin’
The city of Guelph where Carin and I live has been dealing for several years with the growing problem of the weekend bar crowd not bothering to find bathrooms and pissing or worse all over the downtown. One of the solutions, at least for a few weeks over the summer, was installing outdoor urinals or …
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Tools In His Ass
I hope this isn’t true. if it is, it’s yet another example of a story that can be told by starting with the words a Romanian man, and it also means that Viorel Firoiu, after eating cherries and becoming plugged up, decided to have a few drinks and thenplug himself up a bit more with …
Let’s Hope He Doesn’t Have Daughters…
I don’t understand the leniency of this jury. Johnny Marlowe was accused of, and admitted to, circumcizing his sons with a box cutter because god told him to, ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow, but he only got misdemeanor child abuse charges. Why, why, why why why? What do you have to do …
Never Smile, Or Piss, At A Crocodile
Oh my. We’re so getting a fake kidnapping tag. It’s happening. Today, it’s happening. I’m sure the first story this unknown man told about battling men who abducted him, getting shot, and getting thrown to ferocious crocodiles in Mexico was a hell of a lot more cool-sounding than what really happened which was…he drunkenly pissed …
Leader Of The Black?
This story made me shiver, giggle, and then think of a joke my mom told me once. A guy decided he wanted to be “chief of his tribe”. Ok then. To do this, he thought he needed to put his penis through the ring of a dumbbell weight fastener. Three days later, when Willie had …