Put This Idea In The Can And Don’t Even Think Of Looking In Mine

So a suicide bomber blew himself up and the bomb was in his rectum. Now airlines folks are trying to figure out how to check for…bum-bombs? Don’t even start. Just don’t. Just think of what agents could do to us because of this. They say the x-ray scan machines would do it, but just ask …

>Hope It’s Not A Good Luck Charm

>Man Hospitalized After Drilling through Live Round to Make Keychain Charm Bla bla bla, another person drilling through, or hammering on, live ammo. but there was one line that spoke to me and said he needed a place up here. The man did not immediately seek treatment, but consulted with his neighbor and eventually went …

Off With Their Heads, And Then Off With Mine!

The poor, poor adoptive parents of Christopher Monks. They’ll be wondering what they did wrong for a long time. He apparently met this other guy, Shaun Skarnes, on the net, and together, they decided to kill Monks’s parents. Afterwards, Skarnes would satisfy Monks by….biting off his penis? Whaaat? Yup, that’s what he wanted. Luckily, nobody …

>one-eyed, no-brained parking lot pecker poker

>Here’s another example of dorks, ha ha, funny I should call them dorks, letting people who claim to be doctors shoot them full of who knows what. These ones were told the injections would enlarge their penises. Well, I guess technically they did, since all of the men contracted an infection so I’m sure there …

Sacks On Fire

Ok guys, listen close, this is important. When a woman at the bar tells you to please stop groping her and waving your junk at her and others, it would be in your best interests to listen lest you end up like the British tourist whobecame an unwilling participant in a weenie roaston his trip …

When Committing A Robbery, Watch Your Step

Ow, oo, ee. Jason Durant probably won’t be robbing banks for a long, long time. Although this isn’t the full story, this is the most vivid description of his, um, fate, that I can find. He robbed the bank, and started to make his way to his getaway vehicle when… he fell down a steep …