Of all the sites on the internet, this is one.
Pretty sure I know this guy. Shit, I think I know 12 of him. WHY I’M DOING MY OWN RESEARCH BEFORE USING A SEAT BELT Here’s a question: How did they come up with seat belts so quickly? We’ve only had over a hundred years of car safety innovation and research that have built to …
Continue reading “Are We Even Sure Car Accidents Are Real? I’ve Never Died In One”
Man Who Posted ‘We Can All Get Through This Together’ Kicked Off Social Media For Spreading Covid-19 Hoax COLORADO SPRINGS, CO—After violating the company’s terms of service with his factually inaccurate message, local man Mitch Pennington, who posted the words “We can all get through this together!” on Facebook, was reportedly kicked off the social …
ANOTHER DULL QUARANTINE WEEKEND AT HOME, TARGET, CHIPOTLE, HOME DEPOT, AND OUR NIECE’S GRADUATION PARTY This is one of those pieces that’s technically satire but is pretty much on the nose. All coronavirus long I’ve had to hear people bellyaching about how rough things have been, how little there is to do and how they …
Continue reading “It’s So Good To Finally Keep Doing What We Never Stopped Doing”
This is supposed to be satire, but it’s a little too on the nose. Bell is just the worst. I’m not sure if there’s anything for which they can be criminally prosecuted for blatantly stealing all of that COVID emergency business relief money, but if there is, may it rain down upon them like vengeance …
Doug Ford Furious At Doug Ford For Cutting Funding To Long-Term Care Homes Toronto – After the Canadian military’s report on the state of long-term care homes was released, Doug Ford has stated how disappointed and angry he is over Doug Ford’s health care cuts that led to the homes being in this state. After …
Continue reading “No One Should Ever Vote For Doug Ford Again, Said Doug Ford”
CDC Urges Americans To Just Say No If Friend Offers Them Coronavirus ATLANTA—In an effort to stop the spread of the potentially lethal pathogen, the Centers for Disease Control held a press conference Monday to urge Americans to just say “No” if a friend offers them the coronavirus. “While it may seem cool to be …
Doctors recommend that you cover your mouth when you cough you disgusting piece of shit Hamilton, ON – After a decades long study, doctors at McMaster University’s Michael G. DeGroote School of Medicine have found that to prevent the spread of bacteria and viruses you should cover your mouth when you cough you disgusting piece …
Ford government cancels tree planting program after learning trees also want to eliminate carbon TORONTO – In a move harshly criticized by environmentalists nationwide, the Ford government announced yesterday that it is cancelling a program that would have seen 50 million new trees planted in Ontario, after realizing that trees, like the Conservative-denounced carbon tax, …
Catholic Church assures billionaires that none of their Notre Dame donations will go to poor VATICAN CITY — Speaking to the handful of billionaires, CEO’s, and corporations that had immediately donated billions of dollars to rebuild the burned Notre Dame Cathedral, Pope Francis assured them that none of these funds would be used to help …
Reminds me of our movers. “We thought this was just going to be a standard job where we drive the truck up to the client’s old apartment, take a look around, and then drive to the new place,” said mover Alexander Manginis, adding that the man who had hired them had given no indication that …
Continue reading “You Have Nice Stuff, But You Have Too Much Of It”