Of all the sites on the internet, this is one.
Our boy made a couple of mistakes here. If you’re going to shoplift at Walmart, maybe leave the 37 pounds of marijuana at home instead of in the trunk of your car. If for some reason you haven’t done that, definitely don’t give your key fob to the police when they offer to help you …
Continue reading “Thanks For Your Help, Said Both Sides Of The Equation”
Though I understand the impulse to get annoyed when all you want is one simple bag in which you can carry one simple thing and you can’t have one, this seems like a slight overreaction. Seems like some Olympic level grudge holding, too. At around 10:30 p.m. Saturday, the driver slammed the car into the …
Continue reading “Gosh Darn It, I Forgot To Bring A Reusable Again. How Silly Of Me”
It’s always fun listening to someone who appears to be discovering in real time that he’s being a total dipshit. You can almost feel the panic, mental calculations and sense of resignation in your own self as reality sets in. Coffee mishaps are brutal, but NOT a 911 emergency! Nor were nearly 125,000 misuse calls …
I’m having a little trouble figuring out exactly how stupid this gentleman is. Like clearly he’s stupid, but is he stupid or is he stuuuuuuupid? Police say a Hamilton man went to Kitchener around 11 a.m. on Thursday to “meet with a female youth for a sexual purpose.” When he arrived at the meeting spot …
I imagine emptying out a gun shop is the sort of thing that would make a fella pretty hungry, but next time, maybe try holding those cravings until you and your rented car are a little further from the scene of the crime. A gang who stole firearms from a gun shop were caught when …
A little while back, we were out to dinner with some people and unfortunately the conversation somehow turned to Trump. “The nicest thing that I can say about Donald Trump is that he’s a complete buffoon,” I recall telling the group at one point. “It’s all down hill from there.” Things like this are why …
Stories about bank scams are getting to be a lot like stories about fireworks. It’s hard to find a really good one especially now that scammers have gotten more sophisticated and are able to fool people much more easily without a lot of those people having to be astoundingly dumb. But that doesn’t mean that …
Continue reading “Somewhere, Someone Is Kicking Himself For Only Asking For Six Grand”
After all these years, I’ve gotten to the point with fireworks injury stories where I’ve seriously caught myself thinking “meh. Guy blew his hand off. Whatever.” I’ll read them just in case there’s a funny detail buried somewhere, but most of the time they get a quick scan and then it’s on to the next …
Continue reading “Look, Guys! It’s The Inside Of My Skull Where My Brain Used To…Never Mind”
Calling in a fake bomb threat and active shooter to a store across the street from where your boyfriend is about to get arrested for shoplifting maybe isn’t the smartest thing you could do, but I’ll go ahead and put it in the category of ideas so crazy they just might work. Distraction can be …
Continue reading “The Sporting Goods Store Did Not Account For All Of The Dicks In The Area”
In the right context, I don’t see anything wrong with asking high school students to write their own obituaries. I took a writer’s craft class when I was that age, and I recall more than one assignment that required us to write things about ourselves. It wouldn’t have felt out of place at all if …