Hot tip: If you’re going to break into someone’s house and use his inversion table, make sure you know how to get in and out of it so you don’t have to scream for help when you find yourself stuck in it upside down. The homeowner and an apparently hopelessly trapped Jeremy Sanders are reported …
Category Archives: that was dumb
Walking Around ON Spaghetti Legs
I don’t know what this guy’s situation was ( either broke and hungry or total asshole seem like good bets), but whatever it was, it maybe should have been obvious that stuffing a container of piping hot spaghetti down his pants wasn’t going to be the best way to improve it. https://www.facebook.com/339711689547929/videos/313878919498372/ The footage shows …
You Can’t Half Your Cake And Eat It Too
I give this woman, or perhaps just her giant testicles, bonus points for trying. Yeah, definitely just the nuts. The rest of her *is* nuts and gets no bonus points for thinking this would work. The suspect, who has not been identified, entered the bakery section of the store and proceeded to eat half of …
Gotta Smoke ‘Em All
If you’re going to play Pokemon Go in a park, maybe make sure the park is open. Oh, and maybe also leave your big ass drug stash at home. A Hillsborough deputy observed Ortiz had marijuana in plain view and also noted Ortiz was actively trying to catch a wild Pokemon. A search of Ortiz’s vehicle …
Smile, You’re ON Stolen Camera
I shouldn’t have to tell you this, but if you’re going to go into your neighbour’s garage and make off with one of his paint brushes and his fancy new security camera, maybe take an extra second to make sure that the camera isn’t on and streaming the entire time. https://www.facebook.com/bossiersheriff/videos/2263233837099308/ Bossier Sheriff’s Office patrol …
Police Report Increase In Selfish Dicks
Social gatherings of more than 5 on the rise, police say Yeah yeah yeah. We all want to see our families and friends and to have the normal lives we had a few months ago. But we also have rules for a reason, even if some of them, like the one where public gatherings will …
The House In The Middle
The message here, I think, is that if you take care of your property, you might just have the luxury of dying more slowly should someone one day drop an atomic bomb on your neighbourhood. Atomic tests at the Nevada Proving Grounds (later the Nevada Test Site) show effects on well-kept homes, homes filled with …
Doug Ford Is Still Doug Ford And Toronto Is Going To Get Us All Killed
Doug ford has, as I’ve said before, done a largely solid job of handling the Coronavirus outbreak. But he’s starting to show signs that, at the end of the day, he’s still Doug Ford. Not calling a full inquiry into what’s happening in long-term care facilities and instead opting for a less thorough, government lead …
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Spider-Man, Spider-Man. Makes You Sink Your Kia Van
People really can’t handle spiders, can they? The woman told a state trooper she was trying to back her Kia van down the Neel’s Landing Boat Launch to put her kayak in the river when a spider jumped in her lap. Naturally, she jumped out of the van. The van then rolled into the river, …
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Too Distracted By Your Phone To Drive Properly? There’s An App For That, Because That Makes A Lot Of Sense
New app targets distracted drivers with traffic alerts Maybe I’m the idiot here, but it strikes me that the only app we should need to tackle distracted driving is one called the power button that shuts the fucking phone off while you’re driving because clearly you don’t have enough self control built in. Instead of …