Of all the sites on the internet, this is one.
Some days I find myself thinking that we really ought to just wipe the world clean and start over. After seeingthis,it’s safe to say that today is definitely one of them. First it was the shatterproof ruler. Then came the compass with a soft point. Now one of the UK’s biggest stationery manufacturers is redesigning …
Continue reading “Pencil Sharpeners Don’t Kill People, Idiots With Pencil Sharpeners Kill People”
Thisis one of the most ridiculous explanations I’ve heard for anything in the entire history of ever. A Rochester man who said his poor eyesight caused him to molest his girlfriend’s prepubescent daughter was ordered to prison today. Monroe County Court Judge Frank P. Geraci Jr. sentenced Eric Kennedy, 38, to 12 years behind bars …
Continue reading “Ok, I Think I’ve Just Officially Heard It All”
Here’s another one for the hahahaha! files. A man broke into a convenience store, grabbed some lottery tickets, and set the place ablaze. But while he was spraying the surveillance camera, he set fire to his face. The camera survived and got a pretty good shot of our friend. By some strange feat, he still …
Here’s a strange one. A texas man wasstabbed with a pitchforkwhile trying to break up a drunken fight between 2 of his nephews. According to police, the 3 men were drinking in their mobile home Sunday afternoon when a dispute broke out over which of the nephews was the oldest. No, seriously, that’s really what …
Continue reading “They Say It’s Your Birthday Eh? Well We’ll See About That!”
If you find yourself on trial and have even the slightest desire to be found innocent, it might be a good idea to keep in mind thatpunching a member of the jury is generally frowned upon and will in all likelihood not help your cause.
I’ve been meaning to write about this since, hmm, when? When I got back from guide dog school? Or was it before that? I know I was with mom getting stuff at Wal-Mart. Anyway, here goes. We’re getting stuff at Wal-Mart, like I said, and mom decides to go through one of these funky-doodle self-checkout …
Continue reading “Welcome to Wal-Mart, How Can I Sort of Help You?”
There were a few things floating through my head, so I figured I’d write them down together in a random thought stew. Here’s a lesson I had to learn the hard way. Hopefully others can learn from my stupidity. Never! ever! give! to! charities! who! phone! you! I gave to one charity who phoned. It …
These people definitely belong in the things that make ya go raaar! pile! Remember GUTS? If not, here’s a refresher, and an update, yet more greatness, and the final straw. That was the final straw…until now. Will these people just go away quietly? They’re not serving any practical purpose, and they’re being nothing but a …
Continue reading “GUTS, GUTS, Go Away, The Police are Here to Stay!”
In my life, I’ve seen plenty of stupid. I’ve also experienced plenty of really stupid, fucking stupid and even a pretty fair dose of mind-blowingly fucking stupid. But never before have I seen something the likes of what I can only callpenis cream stupid. The story goes like this. A school teacher allowed a random …
Continue reading “I’m Not A Doctor, But I’ve Been Trained By A Few”
Ok, here’s the new most retarded thing I heard all time all my life. Mobiles to be blocked for Bush Mobile phone calls in sections of Sydney’s CBD will reportedly be blocked during US President George Bush’s APEC visit in September. News Limited papers report the sophisticated counter-terrorism measure will be used to prevent mobile …
Continue reading “Can You Hear Me Now? No? Great, Mission Accomplished!”