It’s Official, Human Beings Are Retarded

Honest to God, I actually read the words below just now on a real website while unsubscribing from a real newsletter. “if you are unsure what your email address is that you are subscribed under, this is located in your ezine below the Unsubscribe Link.” Let’s give these people a pass on the poor wording …

Too Bad They’ll Never Know

Remember those 2 idiots who died after climbing inside of a giant helium balloon and running out of air? If you do, you will no doubt be happy to know that their complete and utter retardedness has now been forever recognized as an award-winning part of history. Yes, for their heroic efforts to further the …

What? I Need an Escape Route?

Before I write a big post about the holidays, I just had to write this down because, well, it belongs here. Attention all dumbasses! When you decide it’s time to carjack someone, you might want to know where you’re going if you manage to steal their car. Otherwise, you might end up having to admit …

I’m Still Scratching My Head!

And shaking it. Am I awake? I am. I was watching the news, and the music start sup, and the lady comes on and says, “Tonight, we’ll tell you why scratch tickets aren’t the greatest stocking stuffer idea…” I’m like what the hell? What could possibly be wrong with a goddamn scratch ticket? Don’t take …

They got Sick! Real Quick!

Ok, this just pisses me off because I thought people knew better. Taken from the story in Google News A five-year-old boy needed a liver transplant after he and his family were severely poisoned by wild mushrooms they picked in Waterloo and ate for dinner last week. Ok, how did a whole family miss the …

So…

It’s early on an average Saturday morning. Outside the window, there is a quiet, sunless, breezeless yet cool and somehow sticky 17 degree day. Inside the window, there are 2 angry blind people trying to figure out how it is that with no heat on in the apartment, there could possibly be an atmosphere best …