The Sporting Goods Store Did Not Account For All Of The Dicks In The Area

Calling in a fake bomb threat and active shooter to a store across the street from where your boyfriend is about to get arrested for shoplifting maybe isn’t the smartest thing you could do, but I’ll go ahead and put it in the category of ideas so crazy they just might work. Distraction can be …

He Was A Good Man, Taken Too Soon By The Schools And The Gun Lobby That Swore To Protect Him

In the right context, I don’t see anything wrong with asking high school students to write their own obituaries. I took a writer’s craft class when I was that age, and I recall more than one assignment that required us to write things about ourselves. It wouldn’t have felt out of place at all if …

That’s Some Fine Police Work…Hey, Where’d Lou Go?

Hooooh boy. I can’t wait to hear how the OPP explains this, assuming, of course, that it’s better at finding explanations than it apparently is at finding bodies that are right under its nose. To be fair, it does sound like the service did a lot of work here. Unfortunately it ended up being the …

I Want To Get Convicted Again

Point: Someone with 11 felonies on his record should know how to commit a proper robbery by now. Counterpoint: You don’t end up with 11 felonies on your record by being good at crime. You would not, for instance, threaten a clerk who just caught you trying to shoplift, go outside, put on a hood …

This Joke Kills Every Time

Remember the time when that gun shop owner shot his buddy’s face off for giggles? This is that, but with cops. I guess all that highly trained to make good, split second decisions stuff doesn’t apply when you’re off duty. A 23-year-old Florida sheriff’s deputy was fatally shot by his fellow deputy roommate over the …

A Few Uplifting Words To Play Over Someone else’s Car Speakers

I didn’t wake up thinking that I was in a particularly down mood today, but I must be. I say that because I remember a time when I would read a story like this one here about a carjacker who was identified because he connected his phone to the car’s Bluetooth, say to myself something …

“What Is The Nature Of Your Emergency?” “I Appear To Be Lost In An Administrative Loop”

This is hardly the dumbest 911 story we’ve ever seen, but something about it keeps saying “Steve, post me,” so who am I to argue? Police say that on Feb. 2, the man attended the Superior Court of Justice to obtain help completing family court documents. After staff advised they are not permitted to provide …

Clean Up Your Act, You Two

As a blind person living in a big apartment building, I sort of understand this. Only difference between him and I is that he’s calling just because his clothes were removed and I’d be calling to self-report the beating that I could not guarantee I would be able to refrain from giving to the person …

What Are You Doing, You Fuels! That’s Not A Safeway To Carry That!

Even after all these years, there are still times when I think to myself that if I see anything dumber than this today, I’ll be surprised. This is one of them. A man in Phoenix, Arizona, was taken to the hospital with serious burns after being found near a car that was also on fire. …