I don’t know how many admitted shoplifters we have reading this, but a question for you in case you exist. How common is it for someone to spend seven hours in the same store filling up a cart with things he plans to take? I always picture shoplifting being something that happens fairly quickly. You …
Category Archives: that was dumb
Bottle Of Wine, Fruit Of The Vine. Who Am I Gonna Have To Run Over
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZynyHW2hfw You know how it is. It’s morning, you’re hammered, and gosh darn it, you’re plumb out of refreshments. What to do…what to do? You could call it a night, of course. How are you going to do it all again this afternoon if you don’t sleep now, right? But if you feel you absolutely …
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That Time The Mayor Of Toronto Insulted An Entire Continent
What is it with Toronto and racist politicians? No, not him. Him either. I’m talking about Mel Lastman, because I have just been reminded that today is the anniversary of the time he said he didn’t want to go to Africa because he might get boiled alive. Yes, that was a thing that the head …
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Safety First
Whether Floridians behave like meth users or meth users behave like Floridians will probably always remain a mystery, but of one thing we can definitely be certain: the ones that make the news most often aren’t going to be the best or the brightest. They may, if 49-year-old Douglas Kelly has his way about it, …
Ask About Our 911 Minutes Or It’s Free Guarantee
Today in stupid ass reasons for calling 911: The pizza wasn’t ready when my son and I came to collect it. A 32-year-old woman dialled 911 at about 9 p.m. Monday to report her pizza wasn’t ready when she showed up at an Elgin, Ont., restaurant to pick it up, Leeds County OPP said. When …
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Put The Money In The Bag. I’ll Be Outside Double Checking, So Don’t Try Anything
Bank robbery pretty clearly is not for Michael Gale Nash. Not only did he whip out the old write your hold-up note on a paper with your name and birthday written on the other side of it gimmick, but then he didn’t even bother running away once he got his money from a disproportionately frightened …
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Can It Be? Did Trump Try To Tell The Truth For The First Time?
Recently, Donald Trump did something not at all unusual for him. He made a bad policy decision. This time it’s one that might start a global trade war, because that’s the sort of thing that tends to happen when you just up and decide one day that you’re slapping tariffs on steel and aluminum that …
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Of Course I’m Not A…Beepbeepboopboop…Crap!
Points for being diligent I guess, but I sure hope these Fiat selling Floridians understand cars better than they seem to understand computers. Yeesh. I bought a car today, and the dealership had me check off — with a pen, on paper — that I’m not a robot. pic.twitter.com/x6nJ68e6uj — Marci Robin (@MarciRobin) May 20, …
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So Here’s A Ridiculous Round Of Family Feud
Name a word that follows the word pork seems like a pretty simple question. I thought of a good half dozen answers right away when I heard it. Not everyone is me, apparently. The woman who spells loin lion and whatever the hell a pork tease is supposed to be (pretty sure we all have …
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Pop Goes The Shoulder
I’m not sure we’re quite hitting Brian Roberts clonks himself on the head and winds up with a concussion territory here, but respect to Red Sox pitcher Carson Smith for a solid effort. Carson Smith hurt his arm throwing his glove in the dugout after he left the game yesterday. "It's unfortunate," Dave Dombrowski said. …