And now, a reminder that we can’t blame modern technology and cable news for all of the world’s ills because people have always been kind of dumb. In 1982, the Maryland Poison Center reported almost 80 cases of people who had suffered nausea and diarrhea after drinking Sunlight dishwashing liquid. They had received free bottles …
Category Archives: that was dumb
This New Mexico You Speak Of. It Doesn’t Seem As Spanish As The Old One
The bad news: More public officials are having trouble figuring out what qualifies as America. The good news: At least it wasn’t the TSA this time. https://www.facebook.com/gavinclarkson/posts/10218076637051140 The La Cruces Sun-News reports Gavin Clarkson, who lives in Las Cruces, and his fiancee attempted to apply for a marriage license at a D.C. license bureau on …
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He Was Then Packed Off To Jail
When you hear the word ballsy, you probably think of something heroic or crazy, like running into a burning building to save someone’s life or jumping out of a perfectly good airplane for no practical reason. But when I hear the word ballsy, I think of things like this fellow in Guelph who brought a …
Once We Fix This Baby Thing, We’re Going To Tackle The Wetness Of Water
Things move so fast anymore that I missed this at the time, but there’s no way I’m passing it up even if it’s already ancient history. https://www.facebook.com/UPROXXNews/videos/10160001609845145/ Yes, that is the President of the United States explaining in a speech that right now, all over the country, babies are being born in the ninth month …
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Well Hey, At Least He Stopped Crying
And this is why we have a parents of the year tag. Six-year-old Florida boy Ryker Roque has died of rabies after being scratched by a bat infected with the disease. Who the heck dies of rabies in the United States in 2018, you might be wondering. Well, that would be six-year-olds whose parents don’t …
Assault And Vinegar
What goes better with dip than chips? A South Carolina man turned violent in a dispute over salt-and-vinegar potato chips, authorities said. Ryan Dean Langdale, 19, had warned his 17-year-old cousin not to eat his chips, but when his relative did, Langdale shot him, authorities said Wednesday. “Do not touch my chips, or I’ll shoot you,” …
Social Security, Maximum Security, What’s The Difference
I didn’t think it was possible, but I do believe I’ve found something even dumber than having your own name tattooed on yourself whilst being a criminal. That something? Having your Social Security number tattooed on yourself whilst being a criminal. At least with your name, there’s a chance the police might be thrown off …
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With Friends Like These…
Update: There’s a less than zero chance that the tweet cited in this post came from a fake account. My apologies for not catching that if that is indeed the case, although I’m far from the only one who bought it. This, however, does not change the main point of what I wrote. What this …
Put The Money In The Bag. Sure, But Put Your License Through The Machine
This is normally where I’d call David Menser an imbecile, but honestly, he might just be an average guy. Why? Because on the one hand he was smart enough to remove the dye pack from the stack of money he got from the bank teller he was robbing, but on the other, that ended up …
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They Should Have Sett It Up To Play Hit The Road Jack
Hey guys, what if we built rumble strips into this here road so that whenever somebody drives on it their tires will make it play a song? It should have taken 20, maybe 30 seconds of thought tops after the chuckles and the I wonder how easy it would bes died down to figure out …
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