Not sure who comes off looking worse here, honestly. Off-duty McDonald’s employee Phillip Bailey for chucking a smoothie at a 91-year-old man during a stupid drive thru argument, or Johnnie Douglas, the 91-year-old man in question, for reacting to the yogurt-based assault by returning fire with an actual gun. The Indiana McDonald’s altercation that later …
Category Archives: that was dumb
At Least They Won’t Have To Worry About Brain Damage
I hate saying this because generally speaking I don’t ever want to see bad things happen to people, but let’s be honest, some of them just fucking deserve it. Like, for instance, these nine idiots who opened mail that didn’t belong to them, found powder inside and then, thinking it might be cocaine, divvied it …
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The Dashcam Giveth And The Dashcam Taketh Away
Note to Xavier Moran: If you own one of those dashcams that records everything, there’s more than a slim chance that the word everything means exactly what you’d think it would. This is important, because not only will it have the good evidence on it that will prove you weren’t at fault in that car …
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Who Was That Masked Man? It Was Kerry
Update: Somewhere between me hitting publish on this and going to the site to make double sure that I hadn’t messed anything up, the second Facebook post went from looking for him to noting that he was captured. Never underestimate the power of the Vomit Comet. Original post: Police in Georgia are looking for Kerry …
If This Isn’t Where The Term Criminal Court Came From, It Maybe Should Have Been
I’d have to go back and check to be absolutely sure, but I feel pretty comfortable saying that this, by far, is the oldest Master Criminals story we’ve ever featured here. It dates all the way back to 1725 and involves two robbers taking each other to court for fraud after their partnership went south. …
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Well Over Half The Residents Of Peel Region Don’t Know What 911 Is For. Good Lord
Want to hear a depressing statistic? Less than 60 per cent of the calls received by 911 in Peel Region are emergencies. That’s sad on its own, but when the next number you hear is that the service gets around 30,000 calls each month, it goes from just sad to downright pathetic. At this point, …
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Did Somebody Say McJailhouse?
It’s tempting to judge people like Lizabeth Ildefonso for the choices they make, but before you do, I ask you this. Who among us has never driven up to a jail security booth at 10 A.M on a weekday, eyes glassy, nose filled with white powder and tried to order a breakfast sandwich? Most of …
If You Want A Survey That’s CRAP, Call On CROP
Quite often I find myself getting offended by the things that offend other people, but I think I’m with Lacey Willmott in wondering just why Aeroplan, the travel and shopping rewards people, would be sending out a survey asking folks to choose their level of agreement with statements such as “Overall, there is too much …
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Lead Us Not Into A Telephone Pole, But Deliver Us From Crazy Mommies
You know what would be nice? If either the fact that a crazy religious lady would drive a carload of people into a pole on purpose to prove that God is real or that substances don’t appear to have contributed to the decision making came as a great surprise to me. Authorities said the mother …
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Idiot Job
This seems like as good a time as any to remind you that movies are fake and that the sorts of things that work there don’t generally translate to real life. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyBnQ8kRJVc A suspected car thief tried to make the perfect getaway by racing down a flight of stairs but ended up being rescued by …