This, essentially, is your standard, garden variety get yourself arrested so that you can smuggle things to a buddy on the inside via your inside story, and I wouldn’t even be posting it were it not for some of the items in question. Marijuana? Fine. Tobacco? Ok. A couple of knives? Woe woe woe hang …
Category Archives: that was dumb
And A Huge Interception By The Local Constabulary
The Grey Cup is fantastic. It’s a big, fun, important Canadian event that many of us will stop what we’re doing to watch. But that’s not always the best idea. Sometimes you really should finish off whatever you’re up to before you settle in to enjoy the game. Like let’s say you’re in the midst …
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Film Him Right In The Pokey
Listen, guys. You know how some of you enjoy yelling “fuck her right in the pussy” at female news reporters in the hopes that you’ll get on TV and impress all your buddies and maybe even become internet famous for 30 or 40 seconds or whatever the fuck? It’s not funny. Ever. It is, as …
“Stop! Police!” They Said In Unison
At this time, let us pause and show our appreciation for the police of Detroit, Michigan. A more dedicated, diligent and well organized group of men and women you shall never find. They will, without hesitation, go to any lengths necessary to remove criminals and the horrible, life-ruining wares they peddle from the streets of …
At Least His Backpack Was Bright
When you bring a change of clothes with you to an armed robbery, that’s called thinking ahead. when you bring a Pokemon backpack with you to an armed robbery, that’s called dumb. And weird. Definitely weird. Like seriously, you’re a grown-up, man. What the shit? Funzail Woods was arrested after using an ax as a …
Hang On, Man. I’m About To Catch A Train
If I live another hundred years, I will still never understand how it is that a person can get himself so distracted that he fails to notice something the size of, the sound of and the feel of a fucking train. People often try when we publish one of these stories, but there is literally …
Files Not Found
I hate to kick people while they’re down (that’s a lie), but this right here, as dumb things go, is way the fuck up there. When deadly flames incinerated hundreds of homes in Santa Rosa’s Fountaingrove neighborhood earlier this month, they also destroyed irreplaceable papers and correspondence held nearby and once belonging to the founders …
My Baby Is Missing! And I’m Not Sure Where My Daughter Is, Either
Police in Ohio have arrested a woman for only being half right when she called them to report that her car had been stolen with one of her children inside. Authorities say the mother told police she had her car running in front of her home on North 4th Street and her daughter Janylia was …
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It’s All Fun And Games Until Someone Draws In Their Eye
When I heard about this woman and her eyeball tattoo gone wrong, all I could think of was this really old post. I guess this woman is really into body modification, i.e. adding and subtracting things from her body just for fun. She’s even had her tongue surgically split. Yeesh! So she thought tattooing the …
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Come On, Man! You Lied About Everything Else!
I don’t wanna be that guy, but fuck it, I’m gonna be that guy. Now where’d I put my tiny violin? A Mexican man who spent almost two decades living in the United States was deported back to his home country late Tuesday, separating him from his US-born wife, who voted for President Donald Trump. …
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