There are a couple of lessons here. 1. If you’re doing something you’d rather the police not know about, don’t open yourself up to any more scrutiny than necessary. Even something as simple as driving in a carpool lane when your passengers aren’t easy to see from the outside can be enough to undo your …
Category Archives: that was dumb
Locked In The Front Of A Car
I understand that older folks and newfangled technology don’t always mix well, but come on now. Mollieanne (65) and Brian Smith (68) are still coming to terms with the early November incident when confusion about operating their Mazda 3 hatchback led them to believe there was no way to get out. The pair were stuck …
Time For A Nice Cold Beer…Bottle
There’s doing stupid things when you’re drunk, and then there’s doing stuuuuuuuuuuuuuupid things when you’re druuuuuuuuuuuunk! A MAN got so drunk at a family gathering he ate a glass beer bottle, NT police say. Superintendent Louise Jorgensen said police and St John paramedics were called to a Wagaman home just after 9pm on Wednesday. The …
Hurry! We Need To Get This TV Home So We Can See Us On The News!
Somehow, you have just managed to walk out of a Walmart undetected while carrying a 58 inch television which you neglected to pay for. Well done. But you have a problem. 58 inch televisions are rather large. Too large to easily fit into your vehicle, it turns out. And wouldn’t you know it, as you …
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Wizzing On The Electric Fence Doesn’t Sound So Bad Now
I shouldn’t have to tell you this, but if you’re going to rob a store of one of its fish tanks or quite literally anything else, stop for a leak *before* the heist. This is always true, but especially because the wasps you’re hosing down give zero fucks that the cops are on your trail. …
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Put All The Money In John’s Bag!
Part way through the story of John David Martinez’s horribly bungled bank robbery, I started feeling bad for him and thinking maybe I’d have a heart and not post it. I mean the poor guy is nearly 70 years old and he and his wife had been living in a Ramada after being evicted from …
He Won’t Be Winning Burglar Of The Month
I understand being proud of having been named salesperson of the month down at the Mazda dealership. It feels good to be recognized for working hard at something and ultimately succeeding. Were it me, I might even carry around whatever sort of trophy they gave me for a little while so I could show it …
I Know He Said I Had The Right To Remain Silent, But You’re Just So Good!
I could have sworn I posted this one, but a decent enough look around tells me otherwise. So yeah, let’s be fixing that because this takes some serious balls…and wieners…and baby makers…and beer…and possibly drugs but we’re not really sure…and…absolutely no damn sense whatsoever. I mean, holy shit! Husnik, who was on probation, was handcuffed …
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Jack Ely Died. What Did You Say? I Said Jack Ely Died. I Can’t Understand You. Jack Ely Died. What? I’m Calling The FBI. Maybe They Can Make Sense Of It
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4V1p1dM3snQ The Kingsmen – Louie Louie Jack Ely, the voice that sang on the most famous version of Louie Louie, has died of something or other at the age of 71. According to this report he’d been battling it for quite a while, but because of his father’s religious beliefs not even his son knows …
Not Stupid
What do you want to bet this fella was pretty well shit at hide and seek? Jordan Meier was traveling with three passengers at around 9pm when a Lancaster County Sheriff’s Office deputy pulled over his 2002 Chevrolet Monte Carlo on a Lincoln street for a traffic violation. Meier was subsequently “placed into custody for …