Let’s Get Together…For a Breath Test

You’ll never guess what a woman who handed the cops an LCBO gift card instead of her driver’s licence during a traffic stop was arrested for. Either that or it’ll be about as easy as the collar itself. Who can say? An Orangeville-area female was arrested for impaired driving in Guelph Friday morning after handing …

Happy Birthday From Big Tech And Big Insurance. And From Mom, Eventually

Pretty sure I’m going to know exactly when Carin sees this post. I’ll be able to tell by the “WWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT!” that’s going to overwhelm any and all sound in a 12 mile radius when she finds out that this woman has spent years not knowing when her own child’s birthday is and arguing with people …

You Can Put Them To Sleep If Your Aim Is good

As excuses go, this is certainly one. I either really do or really don’t want to be on this fishing trip. Police responding Saturday afternoon to a 911 call about a suspicious person encountered Eric Bennett, 30, on a Vero Beach street. An officer described Bennett as “visibly intoxicated on an unknown substance.” Asked about …

No No No No No No No No No No No…Baaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrfffffffff…No No No No No No No No No No…

Please, for the love of the sweet baby Jesus, tell me that this is not in fact a thing that anyone outside of freaks and maniacs who really want to be interviewed by a magazine is doing/has done. There aren’t many times when I want the media to make up a trend, but if the …

Make More Inconvenience

I understand wanting to be secure and prevent crime, but this seems a bit much. If you’ve gone to a Rogers store during business hours recently and were wondering why the door is locked, the company wants you to know it’s the result of a policy change aimed at preventing robberies and fraud. The Canadian telecom …

Gotta Fire ‘Em All

Sometimes I watch the news and I ask myself damn, what does it take for a cop to get fired? Christ, I’ve seen them straight up murder people who couldn’t have possibly posed a threat to them and get little if anything in the way of professional repercussions in return. But today, while going through …

It’s Daddy Daughter Day Down At The Courthouse

Yup, this’ll totally work. Won’t look suspicious at all. Daddy’s got you covered. According to the Washington County Sheriff’s Office, around 3:13 a.m. on Friday, Dec. 31, a deputy observed two vehicles traveling “unusually close together” on I-41 southbound near State Highway 33. The deputy noticed the lead driver was continuously swerving, driving half on …

And That’s Why It’s Called A Memorial Candle

Three intensive care patients in Ukraine have been killed in a hospital fire sparked by a candle lit to remember a recent Covid-19 death. Another four people are being treated for severe burns following the blaze in Kosiv, western Ukraine, on Tuesday. According to officials, it began when a candle was lit by a member …

That’s Not Even My Dong, Man

Telling the police that you don’t own the shirt or pants or jacket you’re wearing that just so happen to be stuffed with weapons or drugs or whatever is highly suspect, but at least it’s the smallest bit plausible. It might even be true once every couple million times. Trying that with the two bags …