How Much Is That Dipshit And Those Doggies In The Engine

For some reason people tend to get a little testy whenever one of us writes up a story about some idiot getting pasted by a train. More than once we’ve had family or friends of the speed bump (I refuse to use the word victim) in question comment or email trying to come up with …

I Didn’t Hear the Train A comin’

How exactly do younot hear a train? I don’t care if you have headphones on or not. It’s a train! It goes chugga chugga choo choo loud enough to wake the dead for what seems like a 3-mile radius! If you don’t hear it, how do you miss the vibrations under your feet? I love …

The 2008 Darwin Awards

Amazingly I haven’t had the fake ones emailed to me yet this year. Either people are starting to figure this stuff out or I’m less popular than I used to be. My money’s on option 2. Don’t forget to visitDarwinAwards.comfor a lot more of this stuff. ANNOUNCING THE 2008 DARWIN AWARD WIENERS! THE DARWIN AWARDS:  …

I Hear A Train A Comin’…

Here’s a scenario for ya. You’re in acar. You make a wrong turn. You realize that oh crap, you’re stuck on the tracks! What do you do? Do you get out of your car, or…do you…call 911 and ask for help? I understand the panic of getting stuck on the tracks…but get out of the …

The Bus On The Tracks Goes Crunch Crunch Crunch

Every time I read this story, I get visions of the psycho, screaming bus driver from south Park. What kind of nut bar would park her school bus full of children on the train trakcs and threaten to leave them there if they didn’t quiet down…as a train was coming. thank god the bus got …

I’ve Been Flirtin’ On the Railroad

What do you know, yet anotherdeath by train story. This time, police are looking for the public’s help (especially if you belong to the part of the public that has some missing relatives) to identifythe unknown South African couple who were crushed to death while having sex on the tracks. Anybody know how to say …

That’s Not What They Meant By Climb Aboard.

Ok, cue the hatemail from family members of the poor unfortunate dumbass who I’m about to describe. What is it about people who are crushed by trains and their families always finding us? Here at the Vomit Comet, we love us some man vs train stories. Who do you think wins? Need a refresher? We …

Amtrak: From Simple Comfort To A Raging Inferno

Brian Hopkins, 25, hasfiled a lawsuit against Amtrakover what he claims was the company’s failure to protect idiots like himself. Well, he didn’t quite put it that way, but he might as well have. In 2006, Mensa candidate Hopkins decided it would be just swell to climb on top of a stopped train and hang …