Salt And People Shaker

I can’t stop laughing. I can’t stop laughing I can’t stop laughing I can’t stop laughing! Ok, writing that seems to have allowed me to concentrate. We thought recipes calling for henbane and 20 nutmeg nuts were bad. Now, Ann has let me know that there’s a pasta recipe book that had a recipe in …

Well At Least Help Would Have Been Nearby

Damn this story. “Hat and Feet” by Fountains of Wayne is in my head. And damn it, I can’t find a way to link to it. Grayson Peterka is one lucky boy. His parents should go buy a lottery ticket in his honour. Peterka and his family were enjoying themselves at a family barbecue, when …

That’s One Sick Puppy

This whole situation seems weird, but the weirdest part of it is Nicholas R. Hubbard. He decided to trade his computer for a puppy. What an odd trade. I guess I can sort of see it. Some puppies are worth a few hundred bucks, and instead of money, he gave her the computer. But then …

At The Hope Of Sounding Mean…

Rosa Franklin has good intentions, I think, but she’s been living under a rock for way too long. She has decided that the words “disadvantaged,” and “at risk” are horrible labels to put on kids, and they cause more problems just by being. So, she wants to change them, and is trying to pass a …

More Proof That English Is A Ghotiy Language

I forgot to put this in my last post. I can’t even remember who told me this, or in what class it happened. But I remember someone telling me this story. They said their teacher walked up to the front of the room, and wrote “ghoti” up on the board. People guessed that it might …

Rules of English: That’s An Impossibility

You know, I’ve been doing some work with a guy at the literacy centre. When I started, I was brought in to teach him JAWS. Within a couple of minutes, I realized that he didn’t know how to type! So we started typing drills…and learned that he had a lot of issues with spelling. And …

Why Not Just Ask Where The Washroom Is?

Ug! What would possess someone to piss all over a Wal-Mart meat counter? I guess we can ask Robert T. Jenkins, he’s in jail unless someone pays $25000 to get him out. He destroyed $600-worth of steak and other meat. This story is light on details, but it has a few big errors. According to …

British Airways: Dead Bodies Are Nicer Seat-Mates Than Live Men

So let me get this straight. According to British Airways, it’s ok to seat a corpse beside someone, but god forbid we put a child next to a male stranger! Mirko Fischer and his wife, who was six months pregnant, were flying. His wife sat in the window seat because she thought she’d have more …

The Jewellery Is Brighter Than They Are

Was this the first burglary for these four dimwits? How else do you explain how they failed to do what they were supposed to? First, the lookout guy failed to deactivate the alarm at the jewellery store. So while the two men inside were taking stuff, police were on their way. When they arrived, they …