Not Da Craw, Da Craw!

Ok, I don’t know what to think about this, but hey, ya gotta be fair, right? There’s a new spin on the story about the guy with the penis pump at the airport that reminds me of an old Saturday Night Live skit where this oriental guy with a hand shaped like a claw keeps getting called Mr. Craw because of his accent and gets all frustrated that nobody calls him the claw. Our unfortunate buddy from the airport’s lawyer is now saying that he whispered pump to the security guard, and his accent was so thick and in arabic there is no p phoneme, so it sounded like bumb so the guard thought it was bomb. Ok, that in itself, I can believe. But I still think the guy’s a goof.

If you’re going on a trip with your mom and some kids, why did you need your penis pump? If you’re so embarrassed by it, and you know that airport security goes through bags and asks questions about things that might look odd, why even invite the embarrassment by bringing it? If you absolutely must have it, when the guy asks you what it is, and you probably know your accent is hard to understand, you’re arabic and sadly they might think you’re a terrorist, why bother whispering? I’m not saying shout it from the rooftops, but speak clearly and leave no room for trouble. Believe me, a little embarrassment is nothing compared to 3 years in prison. I hope the charge gets reduced if they can somehow figure out that he’s telling the truth, but he’s still kind of a dope.

Personally, I can’t understand why he needed a penis pump for a trip with his mom and some kids anyway. Does he like his mom and didn’t want her to know he was…inadequate? Or worse yet, maybe he’s not a terrorist, maybe he’s a pedophile! Um…did I just write that? My stomach is spinning.

My House is Your House?

Picture this. You’re an old man. You have a nice house whose investment value is supporting your Hungarian family. You rent it to a couple. The couple decide they want your house. They forge a power of attorney, sign over your house, and sell it! You’re lucky to have a nice real estate agent for a neighbour who tells you she’s astounded to see your house went up for sale and was sold! This causes you to just about have a heart attack. You go to find out what you can do, and find out that despite the fact that the forged signature doesn’t even resemble your own and the person they assigned as your power of attorney doesn’t exist, there’s not a damn thing they’ll do to reverse the series of catastrophic decisions that have been made, and your house is gone unless you can, or want to, buy it back. On top of that, the slimeball who represents the people who bought the house is claiming they are innocent victims and shouldn’t have to give up the house!

Fiction? Nope! This is a very real story. It happened to 89-year-old Paul Reviczky of Ontario.

First of all, this whole thing could have been stopped if one lawyer had used a little common sense. Ok, Power of Attorney documents are pretty important papers. It gives someone else rights over someone’s estate. So, if the person seeking to be a power of attorney shows up to have the document notarized and doesn’t bring the person supposedly giving permission with them, wouldn’t the sensible thing to do be to say, “I’ll notarize this if you bring him in?” I can hear people asking, “Well, what if they bring him in and he’s senile?” Well, if he is, then the lawyer can’t notarize it because the senile guy’s not of sound mind and body! Simple as that!

Second, if the signature is obviously forged, shouldn’t that be the end of it? Identity theft has been going on for years now. It’s not something that’s un-heard-of.

Third, the argument that the buyers of the house shouldn’t have to give the house back is pure unmitigated crap! Um, yes they should! They bought stolen property, whether they knew it or not!

The sad thing is no one can come up with solid ways for people to protect themselves so they’re not in the same boat. I think of my parents, or anyone who owns a house. The only thing I’ve heard is, before you buy a property, you should get title insurance so a proper title search can be done without all the cost and they can find out if there’s anything fishy going on. But what about the person who already owns the house? I was so creeped out by this story that I did a little research. I called the Office of the Public Guardian and Trustee and asked them if there was any way for someone to check if someone had registered themselves as their Power of Attorney, and they said there’s not. All the person can do is hire a lawyer. Scary eh?

This case is still being fought through the courts, so the end is yet to be decided. All they have offered him so far is *some* financial compensation. Some? Trust me, I’ll be watching to see how this whole thing unfolds. Hopefully the stress of it all doesn’t kill the poor old soul.

Yea! Google’s Crawling us Now!

I know this is geeky, but I think it’s pretty cool. A while ago, I was bitching about how shitty the google blog search was, and how you couldn’t really search the blog and have it actually return results, even though you knew they were there. So, we put in a google box, thinking that would work better. At first, it wasn’t working any better, andI was all mad.

Now, I see that it actually works, and in some cases, it will even show you the specific post where the terms were found, not just throw the whole month’s worth of posts up there and make you go digging. Yea! I can actually find old things I’ve written without scouring the archive! People can do google searches and find out exactly how not to find Randy Orton’s penis! Everybody wins, except for those intent on finding Randy Orton’s penis, that is.

I took My Computer to theWrong Shop!

You know, I always talk about how I pride myself on the accuracy of my gut feelings. Sometimes, when I’m walking somewhere, and need to ask for directions, something will tell me not to ask a certain person. Then I’ll see them do something really creepy. Or, I’ll have to make a choice, and I’ll get an inkling that one option just isn’t good. Then it will turn out that there is a reason for avoiding that choice. But this week, despite my gut screaming objections, I went ahead and didn’t listen to it. And now I have a story to tell, and the moral is, listen to your gut!

Like I said yesterday, I had to take my computer to the shop. It was acting up. Before the fun really started, I heard about this computer store across the street, and I heard from one person that she thought it was a good computer store. But she really didn’t know anything about computers, so I don’t know why I put any weight behind what she said. I had gone in and spoken to the guy in the shop, and he seemed very quiet, but he seemed to know what he was talking about passibly. So I left. Then my computer woes started. So I called him back to ask him if he’d look at my ailing beast. He said he would, if I’d bring it over. I asked him, since I’m blind and don’t feel like a. getting killed crossing the major street I’d have to cross with the computer in my hands or b. jarring the computer while trying to carry it, would he come get it? He asked me where I lived and I told him I was basically right across the street. His response? “Oh just bring it over here, it’s not that far.” That made me slightly annoyed, but some people just don’t get it.

But, every time I thought about taking the computer to him, something told me to hold off on it. Something just didn’t sit right with me, something about the way he talked, something. Finally, I bit the bullet and took the computer to him. He took it and I told him that it was squeaking, it was shutting off, and one of the jacks on my sound card wasn’t working. He said sure I’ll look at it and call you back. So I left, with that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that I always get when I leave my computer in someone else’s hands. It’s got a lot of expensive stuff on it! I need the thing! All I can think is “Please don’t break it! Please please don’t!”

An hour or so later, I phone back. He says nothing’s wrong with the hardware, so he’s running a virus scanner with AVG. I just about flip. First of all, I already have antivirus software on there, so putting on another antivirus software might be bad news. Second, AVG is pure crap!

So, I let him go ahead and do that, and this morning I call him back and he says, now it works fine, now that he’s cleaned off all the spyware. I’m like, “spyware?” I know it doesn’t have spyware on it, because I’m very careful. He says aside from that, he just blew some dust out of the inside, it’s ready to be picked up, there’s no hardware problem and the sound card works perfectly now that the spyware is off. He’s charging me $25. I’m like ok, at least it wasn’t very expensive.

So, I get in a cab to go get it because there’s no way I’m carrying it home either, and he shows me what spyware he’s removed. They were a bunch of cookies, which do no system damage, and some false positives, things that weren’t actually spyware. I asked him to show me that the other jack in my sound card works, and pointed at it. He put the speakers in it, and lo and behold, it did nothing! He stammered something about not knowing that was the one I wanted tested. Then we figured out the reason he got no sound from the speakers before he removed the sound card. Remember that old disabled sound chip? He plugged the speakers into that! Imbecile!

Then I asked him where the log files were for the anti-spyware program he threw on my computer, and he didn’t even know. The kicker came when I wanted to pay. I took out my debit card, and that’s when he told me he only took cash! I asked him if he even took visa, and he said no. So I couldn’t even pay him, because if I did, I couldn’t have paied the cab driver. So I left, madder than mad. It was then that the cab driver told me there was a sign up in his store that said, “We take cash, visa and mastercard.” but he had scratched out visa and mastercard. I mean, how cheap can you get?

So what did this guy really do for me, kids? He blew some dust out of my computer, something I could have done with a sighty holding the case open and a can of compressed air, which I have. And, if that didn’t work a miracle, I’m going to have to have another tech give it a real going over. You know, the last time I didn’t listen to my gut was when I persisted in going to Canadian Guide Dogs for the Blind even though my gut said no no no no noooo! When will I learn?

Oh That’s Just Gay

So on the same news show last night as the big Jew story I asked about yesterday – they were also talking about something that kind of rubbed me the wrong way.

Apparently a while back, a gay couple won some kind of court ruling over the province of British Columbia when they argued that text books in public schools painted a purely heterosexual point of view and made no mention at all of any gay or lesbian couples in any of the text books, or children’s books for younger grades.

Their point was that for perhaps an 8th grader who was having trouble realizing their own sexual preference, it might be helpful for them to know that there were great figures in the past who accomplished great things while living a homosexual lifestyle. Or that perhaps it would be easier for them to come out if all kids had read stories as younger children where the parental or adult figures were 2 men or 2 women as opposed to the traditional man and woman.

That, in and of itself is an interesting point of view that may or may not be correct. And, really, I had no problem with the story until they continued.

The court ruled that this couple would be given the chance to go through all texts uses in British Columbia school’s searching for prejudice to homosexuals and examples of favouring heterosexuals. They would have the authority to change and alter texts to include more “homosexual content”. (whatever that means).

Again, I thought for a minute not really sure what to think. I mean I’m not really against the idea of having examples of gays in the texts – but it’s a point that was made by a parent at a protest that brought up something I hadn’t considered before that made me upset.

This parent brought up that there is now 2 people, not elected by ANYONE from the public determining what his children would learn in school. These men did nothing but win a court ruling that said the text were wrong – and suddently they’re qualified to re-write them? Whether you’re gay, straight or somewhere in the middle – if you weren’t elected by the public or appointed by someone who was or hell! even don’t have kids – you have no right to be putting your opinions in text for the children of the province to learn. PERIOD! It’s that simple. You’re nobody. And make no mistake. That’s all this is – their opinions. When these things are put together they go through countless different people to make sure it’s alright. Writers, editers and educaters all have a say in it – and now it’s been boiled down to what? Two gay men who happened to disagree. The point of whether or not the books are too gay or not gay enough is not even an issue if you have no right to be re-writing this stuff.

The most disturbing point of all of this – the reporter came on at the end to comment on the protests and petitions that were flooding in to the provincial government’s office. She said that no matter how many protesters and petitions sat at the government’s door – it wouldn’t change anything. These changes were coming no matter what. Why? Because a court order is legally binding between these 2 individuals and the government since they were the ones involved in the court case. That’s just infuriating to me. If 100 per cent of the population was against this, it still wouldn’t matter because one judge said these men were right – and everyone elses kids were the ones to be affected.

Bullshit. Just bullshit.

So What’s Up With This Jew Thing, Anyway?

So I’ll start this post by making it VERY clear that this is a post of ignorance – and not meant to be an attack of any kind – simply a question.

tonight on the news was an interestion story on a very talented young hockey player entering the Quebec Major Junior League. But – he’ll only play about half the games.

You see, ever since he started playing as a child – he has never ever played a Friday night game – and won’t start now. It’s something to do with the Sabbath.

What is this? What does it mean? I mean I know a few people who are Jewish, and at least to the best of my knowledge, don’t miss school or work on Friday’s. So, from what my very limited understanding tells me, it doesn’t really have much to do with the day itself. Is it the night? Is it just that some Jews don’t practice it as much as others? I mean I know in any religion there are varying degrees of seriousness in how much some people will practise their religion.

One last comment, though. I think it will be interesting if this kid ever becomes anything. I mean right now he’s just a highly touted prospect. But I mean if he ever gets good enough to make it to the NHL – it would be interesting to see if anyone would draft him. Even Quebec City now is getting criticized by their fans for drafting a player, who is to be on one of their top lines, who has made it very clear he won’t play Friday games – and the team has made it very clear that they will not stand in his way. I know it’s just junior hockey, but how do you sell tickets to every game for the same price while readily admitting you’re allowing a top player to not be there.

In the same instance though – if he makes the NHL – it’s now professional, not amateur, which, I would think, means that he would have some sort of legal action (if he can prove that he’s qualified for the league) by saying something along the lines of it being discrimination. I mean, they’re basically telling him they won’t employ him because of his religious practises. That’s pretty hairy. I know it’s all hypothetical – but it’s interesting nonetheless. If he gets drafted by the Leafs, and I pay 200 bucks for a front row seat, I expect to see the entire top line unless someone’s hurt. I don’t know how understanding I’d be.

I Hate This Computer!

Well that looks like a boring title. But that’s all I could think to call this post. Today, I have to take this stupid computer back to the shop for more repairs. So far, I’ve had to replace a regulator that blew after having it for only a few months, a sound card because the original sound chip was the horror of horrors, and now, who knows what I’ll have to replace. Let’s see. Now, my computer squeaks at random, one of the speaker jacks in my sound card stopped working, and it randomly turns itself off, I assume because it’s overheating. So who knows..the whole inside might be shot? Let’s hope not, but I’m going to find out today. So if I’m low on blog posts, it’s because Steve and I are sharing one computer again, for who knows how long.

Efficiency Expert

A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he accidentally knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon and set it on the table.

The diner was impressed. “Do all the waiters carry spoons in their pockets?”

The waiter replied, “Yes sir. Ever since we had an efficiency expert out, he determined that 17.8% of our diners knock the spoon off the table. By carrying clean spoons with us, we save trips to the kitchen.”

The diner ate his meal. As he was paying the waiter, he commented, “Forgive the intrusion, but do you know that you have a string hanging from your fly?”

The waiter replied, “Yes, we all do. Seems that the same efficiency expert determined that we spend too much time washing our hands after using the men’s room. So, the other end of that string is tied to my penis. When I need to go, I simply pull the string to get my penis out, go, and return to work. Since I don’t actually touch myself, there’s no need to wash my hands. Saves a lot of time.”

“Wait a minute,” said the diner. “How do you get your penis back in your pants???”

“Well, I don’t know about the other guys, but I use the spoon!!”

Famous Just For Being Famous

It never stops amazing me how infatuated our society is with the famous. Never at any time in history of their been so many magazines, radio shows, and ET style tv shows all dedicated to just celebrity gossip. It boggles the mind. And we’re all guilty, some more than others, but in our own way. I can’t say I’ve ever bought one of these magazines, but I have in the past while caught myself asking my sisters “both regular gossip readers” whether or not I heard correctly that Nelly Furtado is dating Steve Nash. I mean, who cares? It affects me …. in no way. But it’s just interesting.

Aside: If anyone knows the answer to that question though – it’d be great. I thought I heard it somewhere and then she mentions him in her single which could have just been a shout out to another Canadian making it huge, but I’m curious. Now back to your regularly scheduled uninteresting blog.

Anyway, the people that bug me the most are the ones that are famous, just for being famous. The best example is of course Paris Hilton. Who the hell is she that we should give a shit about? I mean I know she’s the daughter of and heir to the Hilton fortune – but so what. She’d never done any big movies or albums or anything. she was given that retarded show “The Simple Life” just because she was famous for being who she is – and it made her more famous. Well that and a certain tape that you may have heard about.

Irregardless, the point of this entry is not to hate on Hilton or the celebs’ but actually to give credit. (whoa, curveball).

I’m sure most of you have heard Hilton’s new single, or at least that she is releasing an album. I’m actually going to post here, believe it or not, that it’s not terrible.

I’ll give you a moment to recover.

Is it something I would spend money on? No. Of course not. Does it demonstrate a huge talent for music that will see her reach the heights of past divas for their musical contributions? No. I mean she may reach their heights, but it won’t be due to accusations that she can hang with Whitney, Celine and Mariah in terms of great talent. But the song, in and of itself, is not terrible.

It’s certainly no worse than the rest of the pop shit that’s been pumped out over the last 15 years. It has a neat little tune to it that can get stuck in your head, the lyrics are relatively harmless and radio friendly and it’s just in general a kind of happy go lucky sound.

As for Paris’ singing. Well no it’s not great. But it’s not offensively bad either. Now I”m sure our friends in the studio with their awesome computers did quite a bit to help her out in that regard – but again – that’s no different than half of the untalented hacks being shoved down your throat right now anyway.

Paris has been slammed by every media outlet and music reviewer for putting her nose where it doesn’t belong (in music) and I just think that it’s more because she’s an easy target than because the song is overtly terrible. There are much bigger pieces of crap by much more annoying assholes being played across the airwaves right now – and anyone of them would be a better target in my opinion. K-Fed, anyone?

For the record, though. Don’t PAY to get the album. It’s not that good.

Wish me luck!

Well, today could be a very interesting day. I’m trying again to get a guide dog, and I’m going through another interview, and I’m nervous as hell. I’m nervous because this is an important part of their deciding to accept me. But more importantly, I’m nervous because this will be the second time I’m seeing this same interviewer guy, and the last time he saw me, well, I didn’t do too well.

Long story time. Right after I lost Babs because she got sick and had to be retired, I, your resident bull-headed moron, decided I was ready for another assessment from another school, even though I was still grieving Babs, Babs’s retirement wasn’t completely settled, and I’d just started to get into the swing of life after a month away.

I remember the day. It was drizzly and rainy. I was nervous. The brochure said the walk I was supposed to take this guy on so he could see that I was a competent traveller was to be four-eight blocks one way. But I lived downtown and everything I needed to find was less than four blocks away. He showed up, and couldn’t find my entrance. I came out to get him, but left my cane inside. Of course, he didn’t recognize me. So I had to go back inside and get my cane before he realized, oh that’s her.

After talking a while about the program, and him getting mad that Babs’s situation wasn’t completely resolved, we left for the walk. Of course, when I reached my destination, it was too short a walk! So, he had me turn down another street, and cross another street. After a few loopdy-loops and crossings of streets I’d never crossed before, in downtown where the traffic lights are weird, I was lost, confused, and frazzled! Then, it started to thunder and lightning! We had to duck in and out of buildings, which made me even more confused…so needless to say, I bombed the interview!

A year later, here I am, moved to a new part of town. I’m starting to get to know my area, and purely by accident, I end up learning about a perfect route for the interview. I’m just starting to learn it, and bang! He calls and offers to come up and assess me, and if I don’t take it, he won’t be able to come back to this area for another two months! This wouldn’t be a bad thing, except it would push my trip down to train until January, which would have me and fido come back to the land of the great white north…when it’s very white, as in covered in snow, which might be a bad time for Fido to be learning about his new home, especially since he’s from California.

So I take a gulp, take a gamble, and say, sure come up here. I start madly practicing the walk I’m taking him on, and most of it is all cool, but there is one scary street that I need to go practice because it’s psycho and hard to figure out and I want to have it down. And I see on the weather network that it’s supposed to rain today! So wish me luck, hope it doesn’t thunder and lightning, hope I can get this street straight in my head this morning, and hope I don’t bomb all over again! Better yet, I hope I have good news in about a week to post up here!