Somebody Please Tell Me! Part II

Maybe I’m just bitchy today, but I saw something in my email that made me think about something else that bugs me to no end. I received an email message that said it was from Ron or Susan. Ron or Susan? So not only do I not know who’s sending email, neither do they! And when I write back, either Ron or Susan might reply. This might be fine if they were exact clones of each other, but they’re not! Maybe I like Susan but hate Ron. Or vice versa. What if I want to tell Susan how much I hate Ron. Do I want Ron seeing that? I don’t think so. What if Susan is shitty at telling Ron that Ron’s sick mom emailed to say get to my bedside now? Ron might never know that mommy croaked because Susan could see and delete his email before Ron had a chance to so much as read the subject line. Do you see my point?

My parents do this. they have one email account between them, and refuse to get separate ones because dad is afraid that we *might* not email him anymore if he had his own acount. So if I want to email dad and ask what mom wants for Christmas, I can’t, because mom might read the email. And I can’t ask him on the phone because they’re both on the phone too. Can’t people realize that they need a shred of privacy, even if what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is yours?

Somebody Please Tell Me!

What in christ is so good about the Barmitzvah Brothers? I don’t get it. Just listen! Listen and tell me what you hear! Does it make you want to remove all means of sound from your computer and go deaf? I have heard them on CD, I have heard them live, it all makes me gag, but all I hear on CFRU is everyone going gaga over them and raving about the next concert listing which involves them. Why! Why! Whyyyyyy!

Ya Think?

Well, excuse me for being a supreme asshole. Come listen to my story about a neighbour named let’s call her…Stupidhead. At first I noticed that she liked to smoke a lot. So much that it seeped into my house. Then I noticed that she had a lot of loud friends. I started to learn that these friends were…well..members of the more unsavory crowd. Some had just gotten out of jail, others were not below pulling a knife on Stupidhead, others liked to threaten to beat up her friends, and others were just plain crackheads! This parade of slime has been going in and out of her house for months now.

Now, yesterday, I hear, knock knock knock. it’s a distraught Stupidhead. She’s been robbed…again. This is the third time she’s been robbed in two months. She claims that the other two times she’s been robbed, they’ve climbed through her window, but she has not tried to lock all her windows. This time, the thieves meant business. Along with taking all of Stupidhead’s food, they also took all of Stupidhead’s money, which includes a couple months’ worth of rent…just before her eviction hearing. Hey Stupidhead, maybe instead of holding onto your rent money, maybe you should, um, pay the rent. Or at the very least, maybe you should put it in the bank. Oh yeah, despite the fact you’ve been robbed twice before, you still don’t have a bank account, and you put all your money in a hole in your mattress! Do you see, boys and girls, why Stupidhead is an apt name?

So, it’s very hard to have sympathy for her. She claims it’s all because she lives downtown in an apartment building with no surveillance. I have a better theory, chief. I think it’s caused by associating with slime! I have lived here much longer than her, and I’ve never had random thieves slipping through my window and stripping my house bare. The tenant she replaced, sob sob, lived here for upwards of ten years, and nothing happened to him. And I am to believe this load of crap? I don’t think so. Sure I think it sucks that all of Stupidhead’s food is gone. I think it’s a horrible lesson…oh wait, it’s not a lesson because she’ll never learn. She’s Stupidhead, remember?

Super 7

Carin did this and said I had to do it too, so here I go.

Seven things I’d like to do before I die:
1. Go to at least 1 WrestleMania or see 1 wrestling event in Madison Square Garden.
2. Spend some time working in big time commercial radio so that I can get a truly firsthand understanding of what it must feel like to be a disrespected, under-appreciated creatively handcuffed cog in a machine run by idiots who are always looking for a chance to “restructure” me out of the organization with little or no notice. Maybe then I could finally let go of that stupid dream and get on with my life.
3. Play in another band and get a chance to record something that I could actually be proud of.
4. Invent something that people take for granted but would find it hard to get through their daily lives without.
5. Work for myself doing something I love.
6. Have what some people like to call “fuck you money.”
7. Get the chance to explain to 1 specific individual how shittily she treats people and help her understand why manipulating those you claim to care about and doing nice things for others only when there’s some kind of self-benefit involved isn’t going to win her friends or help her keep the ones she has.

Seven things I can’t do:
1. See.
2. Drive. At least not legally or very well.
3. Truly enjoy vegetarian food.
4. Understand the appeal of a lot of what’s on TV these days.
5. Like most of the stuff that passes for music on hit music radio stations.
6. Not laugh at something even if it might not be the most appropriate time to do so. Ok, I can actually do that, but it’s not easy.
7. Chug a beer without stopping.

Seven things I like about blogging:
1. It’s great for people like me who aren’t smart enough to code an entire website by hand.
2. The idea that at any given moment, somebody could be reading something I wrote and maybe even enjoying it.
3. Getting hatemail and compliments from people I don’t know. Funny thing is that there’s actually less of that now even though more people are reading.
4. The ability to look back on things you’ve written months or even years after the fact and think about how much things have changed or stayed the same.
5. The only thing that can stop me from saying something is my own judgment. Ok, that and maybe a server outage or a legal notice.
6. Believe it or not, there’s actually a wee bit of money involved.
7. It’s a better way to channel your negative feelings than oh I dunno, let’s say killing people.

Seven things I say a lot:
1. Fuck that noise.
2. Not so much.
3. Are you high?!
4. I’m hearin’ your noise.
5. Well my friend…
6. I can’t be assed to do that.
7. You know…

Seven Books I’m a fan of:
1. Stupid White Men. Michael Moore can be a bit extreme at times, but like him or not, he makes some good points.
2. Arrogance. Again, Bernard Goldberg can be a bit extreme, but there are still some good points to be made here and it’s a pretty well-written book.
3. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
4. Braindropppings.
5. Napalm & Silly Putty. Yes, the last 3 are all by George Carlin.
6. 1984.
7. The Matarese Countdown.

Seven movies I like enough to watch over and over again:
Ok, I’m about to break a rule here. I’m going to do TV shows instead of movies. I’m doing this because I find that a lot of movies these days have a tendency to suck bowls of dick soup through a straw, and even the ones I’ve really dug can’t come close to Happy Gilmore for repeated watchability. So since doing a list of 7 that I claim to like that much would just be plain dishonest, the small screen it is.

1. Cold Case Files.
2. American Justice.
3. This Hour Has 22 Minutes. No matter who’s in the cast, it’s always been funny.
4. The Local News.
5. Cops.
6. To Serve And Protect. I wasn’t very nice to that show in the past, and for that I’m sorry. Definitely one of the best TV shows ever.
7. The Royal Canadian Air Farce. Not as funny as it used to be but still pretty great.

Seven people that I’m going to make do this just like I had to:
This is a hard one. Kind of makes me wish that I cared what other people thought about things. Ok, I’ll pick 2, and if anybody else wants to join in, you can feel free to send it to me and I’ll think about posting it for you, that could be fun.

Now for my victim…er…um…lucky friends.

1. Matt if he wants to. Do it man, that’ll mean all 3 of us will have done it.
2. Tim because he’s an interesting guy and I’d like to see what he might come up with.

Ok, I think that’s everything. I’m sure one of us will be back sooner or later with something, and until then, feel free to check out all of the new links we put up

Well, I guess I’m a sucker.

Thordora of the other vomit comit did this little questionnaire and asked me to do it too, calling me a sucker, so here goes. Hell, it gave me another idea for a post, so this should be fun.

Seven things I’d like to do before I die: Not like I like to think about dying, but…

see more of the world.
Meet the guy I tried to help come and study here. God that’s a long story.
Have enough money to be financially independent. Oh god I sound boring.
be able to have a kid. What is this, long story central?
Convince my Aunt and everyone else who is like-minded that my eyes are not clones of those of Stevie Wonder, and what worked for him will *not* work for me, but thanks for the thought.
Become less fucking confrontational.
tell at least one person who, for one reason or another, I’ve kicked from my life, why they’re on the wrong side of the door.

Seven things I cannot do:

drive
sing harmony
put up with bullshit from people.
stand on one foot (just ask my yoga teacher).
stomach vegan pie.
drink a ton without sounding like a blithering idiot (My sentences are startin’ to pop!).
laugh without waking the dead.

Seven things I like about blogging:

I get to write down whatever I want whenever I want without someone getting out the old red pen.
If something makes me really mad, I know I have an audience.
It’s cool to look back on.
Ya can’t beat the funky comments. (Hey Steve, how about some infighting?)
ya never know who you might meet.
Woohoo! A lot less html!
I always tried to keep a diary, it seems I’m a lot more consistent with a blog.

Seven things I say most often:

Murphy!
Fuck on a pole! (no it’s not what you thinkk)
Crap on a piss hell. Aren’t I an incoherent freak?
Wait a minute there chief!
Dude!
Freaky!
And here’s the weirdest one. Sa-boo! My strange way of saying Jesus Christ! God I feel like I live in my own little nonsensical world.

Seven books I have loved:

The Stone Angel. God Margaret Laurence could write sentences that could span the 401, but it did make me think.
Dolores Claiborne. I can never vacuum without thinking about that book.
Brave New World. Another make me think book.
Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. You should listen to it in audio. Makes the Vogons much cooler.
Michael Crichton’s Sphere. The idea of twisting reality with your mind may be more real than we think.
John Grisham’s The Testament. Really shows how stupid people can get when they think they’re going to get a pile of dough.
And I guess this is an old favourite, feel free to laugh, Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery day. I can hear the cackles now.

Seven Cool movies:

The cackles can continue…Aladdin. I dunno, I just like the songs.
The Hours. Wow, didn’t the mood just go straight down the shitter?
Rain Man
The Green Mile (except for the part where they’re frying that guy without wetting the sponge. *shiver*)
Ghost (not for the infamous scene. Hey, I didn’t even know it existed until I saw it when I was older. I love mom’s description. Yep, they’re making pottery…and more pottery…and more pottery.)
Jumanji just because I kept hearing that one line in my dreams. “They grow faster than bamboo. Better run, they’re after you!”
Fried Green Tomatoes.

Seven more people. I don’t know if I can think of seven though.

Steve
Barbie
I really can’t think of anyone else.

Well there ya go, Thordora, I did it. I don’t know if you’ll be happy, sad, disgusted, or wishing you never asked. But the damage is done.

This Made Me Laugh

There is a knock on St. Peter’s door. He looks out and a man is standing there. St. Peter is about to begin his interview when the man disappears.

A short time later there’s another knock. St. Peter gets the door, sees the man, opens his mouth to speak, and the man disappears once again.

“Hey, are you playing games with me?” St. Peter calls after him.

“No,” the man’s distant voice replies anxiously. “They’re trying to resuscitate me.”

Who Put the Car in Career Fair?

Does this annoy you as much as it annoys me? I’m a university graduate. I’m looking for a job. I get an email and it says, “Guelph career fair.” I get excited! Woo! I can go and look at things. Then I read a little further down, and the damn thing is in Waterloo!

That’s about a half-hour’s drive, if you’re lucky, and there are only a few buses a day that would get you to Waterloo, and then I don’t know how you’d get to this stupid park where the thing is held. What? Are we all supposed to be able to drive? If I’m looking for a *job*, how would I afford a car, even if I could use one? And if it’s a Guelph career fair, why do all the employers have to go all the way to Waterloo? Are they trying to tell us something? Is there no work in Guelph? And, when did Guelph become part of Waterloo? How did I miss that? I must have been sleeping or something. Why can’t a *Guelph* career fair be held, um, in *Guelph*?

Judge Not, Lest Yee Be Judged

Ok, this just makes no sense, and makes me mad in the process.

Pastor urges stock dumping over firms’ support of gay rights

Ok, for once, Microsoft does something right. Along with a few other companies, it wants to add sexual orientation to a civil rights bill that prevents descrimination based on gender, age, disability,
religion, marital status and other factors. Now here comes the infuriating part. A pastor in Microsoft’s own neighbourhood, Ken Hutcherson, doesn’t like this. Does this strike you as strange? religious discrimination is one of the things the bill fights to outlaw. Why would someone benefitting from this bill fight to keep another group from having the same protections? The worst part is if any other group receiving protection from this bill protested, it would suck and would look pretty low. But it looks especially bad when the one screaming is a representative of an entity who spends a lot of time telling people to accept others no matter what. How about leading by example? Oh wait, that’s something most religious leaders don’t do.

And it gets better. He is actually encouraging people who agree with him to buy Microsoft stocks and then all sell them on the 1st of May, driving prices down, or so he thinks. Ok, let’s forget for a second that he will have absolutely 0 effect on Microsoft. Let’s just focus on the fact that he is intending and planning to do harm to someone. Does that sound very fitting with “Love Thy neighbour” and “turn the other cheek” to you? If he doesn’t agree with Microsoft’s position on gay rights, he can go ahead and rail against it at church if he wants. Hell, he and like-minded people can boycott Microsoft if they feel so strongly about this. In fact, he encouraged boycotting them at first, but now he’s saying that would be stupid. May I ask why? Is it more likely that you can’t part with your Windows and Office and everything else microsoft on that church computer? So instead of encouraging people to make a choice based on principles, something everybody is free to do, he’s decided to encourage them to try to hurt the company by driving prices down, which is borderline criminal. I hope that next week, someone comes and vandalizes his church. What’s wrong, Rev. Hutcherson, you don’t think it’s right? Well shut up, because you just did the exact same thing. Maybe the lord works in mysterious ways.

Happy Election Day

Hello, Friends. And Happy Election Day to you all here in Canada.
Let’s talk politics shall we. For those of you not in Canada this will come down to 2 parties. the Liberals and the Conservatives. There’s a third party called the NDP which is way out to the left but they won’t have enough support to make a run at this. the main issues here are an ultra-right wing Harper (leader of conservative party) who is very pro-America against a scandalous Paul Martin (head of Liberal party).
An interesting side note on this before I get in to my opinions. I was just speaking to a friend of mine and we talked about how many people we know that have said they would have voted for the NDP but they know they won’t win. Can’t help but wonder if that stigma about the NDP party could be whiped out and everyone who wanted to vote for them but voted Liberal just to block Conservatives actually did vote NDP if they could actually make a run at it. Maybe not right away but as people started to see the party gain steam maybe they could eventually be a realistic contender. Something to think about.
I voted Liberal to get that out of the way. I don’t think I have the right to get up here and spout off about this without saying what I did. No one is more pissed with the Liberals than I am but I will never be a Conservative and I unfortunately felt I had to vote for the Liberals rather than the NDP to help prevent a majority for the Conservatives. (see above)
It seems to be consensus (with most people that I have spoken to anyway) that we will be looking at a Conservative government. The question will be whether or not it’s a majority. I tend to believe that it will be a minority. I think there are too many Canadians that are too afraid of a majority government that is so pro-Bush. In my opinion, too many Canadians are afraid of heading to Iraq or wherever G.W.’s next crusade is going to be. I think too many Canadians are afraid of what could happen to public health care. I believe that Canada is, and always will be, a more left wing or centrist country. And let’s face it. A Candian centrist is an American left winger so for us to allow a majority right wing government is probably not in the cards here. At least that’s my take.
Lastly – I’d like to say I’m a big fan of the commercials that started before the last American election election and continued for our election north of the border that are all about getting young people to vote. Saying that they dont’ care who you vote for – just vote. All of my friends have been talking about this election as passionately as we argue about the Leafs. it has become important for young people and I think it’s great. So if you haven’t yet – go vote – for anyone. With things being as close as they seem to be this time around – your vote actually might mean something.

And I Thought Springer Was Bad!

My god, TV is just filling up with this crap. It shouldn’t surprise me. Nothing should surprise me anymore. But for some reason, this show did.

I had the TV on in the background, and this show called Cheaters came on. Basically, the premise is people who suspect their significant other is cheating contact the show. Then, the show sends out private investigators to follow the suspected cheater, and of course, the only ones that make it on the show are the ones that get caught. Then, the guy who runs, or at least narrates the program, comes to talk to the cheated on, and shows them the proof. And it doesn’t end there. The narrator then urges the cheated on to confront the cheater. He then contacts the detectives, who inform him that the guilty one just happens to be up to no good at the current moment. So, cheated on and narrator show up in a public place where the cheater is, and make the biggest scene possible.

Ok, first of all, it makes me laugh how these shows all try and make themselves seem like they’re doing good and moral things and they care about the supposed poor unfortunate souls who ask for their help. No no no, we’re not using slime to serve as entertainment. That’s not it at all. We’re trying to save them. Hey, the slime asked for it by coming on the show, but I love how these shows try to make themselves seem like some sort of do-gooders. Cheaters said they did this only to lay bare the pain caused by cheating. No guys, you’re just trying to profit off the worst aspects of people. Springer does it too, going into a big sermon at the end of the show about how they should take care of themselves and each other. But that doesn’t stop him, during the show, from encouraging the audience to yell whore and other insults at the participants.

And then there is the slime themselves. At the beginning of this show, they explain why they think their boyfriend/girlfriend is cheating. By the time they’re done their little monolog, I’m thinking, don’t you have enough stuff on him/her already to confront him/her without having surveillance teams tail cheater and company for days and days? Wouldn’t that be a hell of a lot simpler and more straightforward? I mean, this one woman was having women calling him late at night and the guy would get all sheepish when they’d call. Isn’t that enough to sit down and go, hey dude, I think you’re cheating? Do these people really doubt themselves so much that they need to see pictures? Or do they just like the drama? Do they like to have it rubbed in their faces over and over again? I’m starting to think it’s the second.

So after the cheating suspect gets tailed for a while, there’s the big meeting between the dude from Cheaters and the cheated on, which is filmed. He doesn’t just hand the person the report and say, here’s your stuff. No no no. We get to see the guy showing the stupid idiot the dirty pictures, which we’ve already seen. So we get to see the person either break down or fly into a rage, in public of course.

Then there’s the big confrontation. The part that cracks me up is when they have this little rendezvous, the cheater is *always* having his/her own rendezvous, perfectly timed so they can go make a scene. This makes me wonder if the whole thing is as fake as springer. And they’re never at a motel, or at one of their houses. They’re at a public place like a restaurant, or my personal favourite, buying a Christmas tree. They walk up to them, and screaming ensues. This really tells me they must like drama. I mean, these people forget that not only are they humiliating the cheater, they’re humiliating themselves by airing their own dirty laundry! And maybe I’m weird, but this almost seems worse than the people who get up on talk shows. Yeah, they’re on national TV, but the chances of nextdoor neighbour Joe being home and watching are…possible, but not nearly as likely as him strolling down the street when you’re having this little free-for-all in the mall parking lot. People in the mall parking lot aren’t choosing to watch this crap. They’re just going about their business, and there you are. And it’s likely that they know you.

And that’s not good enough for the narrator guy. he has to get in there and try and ask the cheater questions like, “What were you thinking?” and “How can you explain this?” I don’t know about you, but nothing makes me more angry than an outside person sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong.

The whole thing, from start to finish, is just so trashy. We don’t need any more of this shit on TV!