>This Guy’s Wife Must Have Really Hated Him

>I know it’s not nice to make fun of the dead, but there are times when you simply can’t resist, like now for instance.

Meet Russell Walter McDermott, Jr of Bucks County Pennsylvania. A man who was probably not much different than you or I. He had a wife, a son and his own home and seemed to be making his way in the world, building a life for himself and his family until the unthinkable happened on August 10, 2002.

If you want to know what the unthinkable was, you’ll have to click on the link below. And when you do click on it, read it carefully paying special attention to who survives him, his cause of death and who added the record of his demise to the site. Trust me, it’s funny. I saw it over 15 minutes ago and it still cracks me up.

So how did Russell die?

And as if this couldn’t get any better, or worse depending on who you are, you can even leave comments for the dearly departed. Just remember that I’m not encouraging anybody to do anything and that if you do decide to offer some words of sympathy to this poor man and his family you are acting completely on your own. However having said that, if you do decide to leave a comment you can feel free to let me know about it.

Here’s A Stupid Joke For You

You might want to read this one out loud.

A really, really fat man got out of the shower at the health club. A second man said, “Gee, you’re fat!”

The fat man said, “Yeah.”

The second man asked, “How long has it been since you’ve seen your dick?”

The fat man answered, “Long time.”

The second man asked, “Why don’t you diet?”

The fat man asks, “Why? What color is it now?”

Ok, you can start booing me any time now.

Ain’t That Just A Kick in the Nuts

Some people have way too much spare time and need to get out more. Take for example the person responsible for this completely legitimate article, a man who should really consider a new hobby. I’m in severe pain just reading this and my head is spinning from trying to figure out how exactly this could possibly be fun.
12 Ways To Crush Your Own Testicles In Your Own Home.

Brings a tear to your eye doesn’t it?

Search Me

Well I finally made it back online and what better way is there to celebrate this monumental accomplishment than with a few funny search terms? What’s that I hear from little Timmy in the back? Have a beer? Ok, don’t mind if I do. And while I enjoy this nice frosty beverage, you can enjoy these few gems I managed to grab before they scrolled away into history for all time. As usual, some of you people are really really messed up individuals who should probably look into some quality couch time.

22 Aug, Sun, 21:54:01
Google:
“batman’s penis”

I’m honestly amazed at how many different ways you people have found to not find what you’re looking for while still providing this site with a way to milk even more hours of entertainment out of one of it’s oldest inside jokes.

25 Aug, Wed, 16:53:56
Yahoo:
women who vomit and shit

Somebody has to ask so it might as well be me. Wouldn’t that be all of them? Why not just go outside, look around for women and start asking questions?

22 Aug, Sun, 18:10:52
MSN Search:
black nude fat bitchs

I’m guessing this guy got here because of one of Matt’s posts considering that bitches is spelled incorrectly.

And we’ll end the festivities with this beauty, my hands down favourite of the lot. Seriously, it’s no contest.

21 Aug, Sat, 23:46:57
Yahoo:
yahoo sucks fucking dick its so fucking gay pictures

If you can’t understand just how funny that is, read it again and pay special attention to the very end. Or maybe it’s one of those things that’s funnier to me than the rest of you because I know exactly how many searches contain the word “pictures.” But seriously, it looks like the person doing this search got really pissed off at Yahoo search and wanted to make a statement in his own small way but forgot to delete part of his previous search for pictures of Randy Orton’s penis.

And that’ll do it for this go round, but I’ll be back later with something else soon since I’ve got internet access again. I promise that I won’t subject you all to a blow by blow recap of my moving and settling experience because honestly I don’t think you care, nor do I think so much of myself that I feel it would be even remotely interesting.

Sorry

First things first, how about a joke? Ok then, here comes one.

Three pregnant women are sitting chatting and knitting sweaters for their expected kids.

The first one says “I hope that I have a baby boy, because I’m knitting a blue sweater.”

The second says ” Well I hope that I have a girl because I’m knitting a pink sweater.”

The third woman says “I hope my kid is a spastic, because I’ve fucked up the arms.”

Now with that out of the way, I just wanted to let everybody know that updates around here might be a bit few and far between for the next little while, not that you haven’t noticed that already. Matt and I are both in the process of relocating and depending on each of our individual situations, who knows when things will settle down. I’m betting that I’ll be back before he will but you never know, maybe he’ll show up with something sooner than I think.

But thanks to everybody for sticking with us, and to those of you who have either just found us or just come back from some time away from reading the site. Whatever is happening, our numbers have gone back up in the last couple of weeks after we had a bit of a slump. So thanks for reading and keep checking in every day, you never know when something new will pop up here.

Remembering Elvis

I can’t take credit for this, but I wish I could.

The similarities between Jesus Christ and Elvis Presley are almost uncanny. Just check the following parallels for yourself!

JESUS is the Lord’s shepherd.

ELVIS dated Cybill Shepherd.

JESUS was a carpenter.
ELVIS’ favorite high school class was wood shop.

JESUS was part of the Trinity.
ELVIS’ very first band was a trio.

JESUS’ entourage, the Apostles, had 12 members.
ELVIS’ entourage, the Memphis Mafia, had 12 members.

JESUS is a Capricorn. (December 25)
ELVIS is a Capricorn. (January 8)

JESUS was the lamb of God.
ELVIS had mutton chop sideburns.

JESUS was first and foremost the Son of God.
ELVIS first recorded with Sun Studios, performing what are still considered to be his foremost recordings.

JESUS’ Father is everywhere.<
ELVIS’ father was a drifter, and moved around quite a bit.

JESUS said, “If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink.” (John 7:37)
ELVIS said, “Drinks on me!” (Jailhouse Rock, MGM:1957)

JESUS fasted for 40 days and nights.
ELVIS had irregular eating habits. (eg: 5 banana splits for breakfast)

JESUS said: “Man shall not live by bread alone.”
ELVIS liked his sandwiches with peanut butter and bananas.

Matthew was one of JESUS’ many biographers. (The Gospel according to Matthew)
Neil Matthews was one of ELVIS’ many biographers. (Elvis: A Golden Tribute)
“[JESUS’] countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as snow.” (Matthew 28:3)
ELVIS wore snow-white jumpsuits with lightning bolts.

JESUS said: “Love thy neighbor.” (Matthew 22:39)
ELVIS said: “Don’t be cruel.” (RCA 1956)

JESUS walked on water. (Matthew 14:25)
ELVIS surfed on water. (Blue Hawaii, Paramount:1965)

Mary, an important woman in JESUS’ life, had an Immaculate conception.
Priscilla, an important woman in ELVIS’ life, attended Immaculate Conception High School.

JESUS H. CHRIST has 12 letters.
ELVIS PRESLEY has 12 letters.

No one knows what the “H” in “JESUS H. Christ” stood for.
No one was really sure if ELVIS’ middle name was “Aron” or “Aaron”.

JESUS wore a crown of thorns.
ELVIS wore Royal Crown hair styler.

JESUS had his famous Resurrection.
ELVIS had the famous 1968 “comeback” TV special.

JESUS lived in a state of grace, in a Near Eastern land.
ELVIS lived in Graceland, in a nearly eastern state.

A Quick Note

This is just a quick note to any of you who happen to listen to my radio show or any other programs on that station over the internet. I thought I would let you know that because of some broadcasting rights issues with the BBC, that during the Olympics, our station’s internet streams will be offline. They will return as soon as is humanly possible once the Olympics are over, at least that’s the plan as far as I know. I’ll be sure to let you know when they’re up again.

Roundtable

This is just a quick note to let anybody who is interested know that the Salty Ham Summerslam Roundtable is up. We’ve got a couple of really cool guests this time and it’s worth checking out, if for no other reason than I told you to.

So if you’re one of those people who does things that I tell you to do, or even if you just want to for your own amusement, you can go here and have a look.

I’ll be back sooner or later with…um…something else.

This Might Be Fun….. It Might Not.

So I was watching the Simpsons last night and one of my favourite episodes was on. It was the one where Bart & Lisa get lost in Atlantic City. I don’t know what it is about that episode since it’s really not the funniest or anything like that but I just really enjoy it and find myself laughing at the smaller details. It’s not outright hilarious but it’s pretty funny all the way through.

So it got me thinking that I should post something about it here. Get you guys to give some feedback on your favourite Simpsons episode, or even moment. Or maybe you have more than one episode that really cracks you up. I mean everyone loves the show so I can’t imagine some of you not having anything to add about the Simpsons.

So comment away. Let’s see what you love about the Simpsons. If nothing else it’ll bring back some humourous memories for everyone reading your thoughts on episodes and moments that we may have forgotten.