Of all the sites on the internet, this is one.
This one might piss some of you off, like I really give a shit.
The residents of a small redneck town urge the sheriff to arrest the local homosexual. Seems he’s been propositioning all the teenage boys in town.
The sheriff dutifully arrests the fag and says to him, “OK homo, you got 15 minutes to blow this town!”
The fag says, “I’ll need at least two hours.”
Holey shit. Leetch got traded by the end of yesterday just like I said he would. I was just trying to look like I actually knew what I was talking about when I said that when clearly I know no more than any other fan. Maybe I do actually know what I’m talking about…. nah. we’ll chalk this one up to luck. Great deal for Toronto though.
By the way, Satan. I still fail to understand how you can continuously slag the highest scoring defenseman on your team. I’ve never really gotten any kind of honest defense of him from you other than “shut up matt. you like him cuz you think he’s hot.” while the fact that I think he is hot may or may not be true, i’d like to see some kind of legit defense of your stance. write something up and i’ll give you fair space on the main page to speak your mind. mention nick if possible as well. haha
Salty Ham is really starting to take off and a lot of the reason for that in my opinion are the quality writers that Roland keeps finding. For some reason he even lets Matt and I write there but don’t let that spoil your enjoyment of the place, especially since if you don’t go there you won’t be able to read Flagg, that guy is amazing. He’s quickly becoming my favourite guy to read on the entire site, I look for his column every Wednesday and I’ve never been disappointed.
He wrote a really great one this week that you can read by going
here.
He makes a great point about public airwaves, one that’s never even entered my mind for some reason. Go check it out and read his archives if you’ve got time, you won’t regret it.
I almost missed this comment, but I’m glad I saw it before the post scrolled off of the main page. Just to refresh everybody’s memories and to get any new readers up to speed on what’s going on, in my post last week called Flawed Logic I talked about a study that was done on junk food advertising and it’s impact on children. That post is still on the main page right now but I’m not sure how long it’ll stay there so if you missed it, click on the archive for February and scroll down if you haven’t read it and want to see what we’re talking about.
I think you are all missing a big point here. It shouldn’t matter how many commercials on the tv. Maybe the problem is that the kids are watching it too
much anyways. There arent any ads in the park! Go play hide and seek or something! Kill the problem before it even starts
a different anonymous | 02.29.04 – 2:49 pm |
I almost agree with that. I’m with you when you say that kids watch too much TV, a lot of them do. I also agree that there are no commercials in the park, but that’s where our opinions part company and here’s why.
While there aren’t any junk food ads in the park, which is a good thing, what kids can get their hands on in the park is much worse than a commercial, that being the junk food itself. Whether it’s other kids bringing candy that they get from somewhere and sharing it around or your own kid going to the store near the park and buying some penny candies with his pocket change, there are still ways that they can get it and eat it. Hell, the park in the little village where I did a lot of my growing up had it’s own concession stand and when it was open, which wasn’t all the time, it would sell everything from burgers and fries to those hot lip things and everything in between. And if it wasn’t open when you were there, there was a convenience store not 5 minutes away that would be happy to sell you candy or ice-cream on the cheap.
So while getting kids outside playing is a really nice sentiment, if you’re worried about junk food, it’s not the answer to the problem. I still stand by my original opinion that at least some of the blame has to go to the parents on this one. Feel free to try to change my mind, I’m open to discussion.
Back on Monday when I posted to say sorry for not updating the site in like 4 days I encouraged you all to yell at Matt and I for slacking off so much and said that I would take the best comment or comments and post them on the main page. Well, a few of you took part and since the activity in that thread seems to be dead now I figure it’s time to announce the winner. One problem, nobody wins. Don’t get me wrong, some of the comments were pretty entertaining but the problem is that instead of letting Matt and I have it, some of our loyal Vomiteers decided to turn on each other. Imagine that, people posting on our boards not getting along with each other, seems almost unthinkable but it does happen now and then.
So what to do? Well, I’m glad you asked. I’ve come up with a way for somebody to win this contest by starting another one. The person who posts the best translation of the following will win. The rules are simple, tell me what in the hell all of this is supposed to mean and get your name mentioned and your comment posted. Be creative, be funny, be whatever, just catch my attention and make me want to post what you wrote over anybody else’s entry. Just know that even if you don’t win I have the deepest respect for anybody who can make sense out of this.
Well, not laziness, as you say, A-Time. But just a lack of ideas or things to post up.
Although, I’ll agree with you halfway that he was lazy to post up random topics that doesn’t contain a subject, but for people to comment on.
Anyways, I’m done.
Nick | 03.01.04 – 4:15 pm |
There are a couple of things that confuse me about this comment. First, how can random topics have no subject when they are topics and topic is another word for subject? I’m not even going to get into the fact that even stream of conciousness writing has a subject, sometimes many of them. Any piece of writing, no matter what it is has to have a subject, it is impossible to write about nothing without just smashing random letters and posting whatever they end up with, a technique seemingly employed by some of the people who comment here. Second, how can somebody slag a person for putting up posts with more than 1 topic in them but then in the same breath say that that person has no ideas for material to post? And finally, who exactly is the comment directed at? Matt and I have both put more than 1 topic in a single post, sometimes it just works better. Who exactly is the lazy person who isn’t actually lazy?
Ok loyal readers, explain that!
I just wanted to give you all a headsup on a new virus that’s started spreading today. People are getting it like crazy and it’s a really tricky one so I thought I’d just warn you all about it now in the hopes that it’ll save even 1 person a little bit of headache.
If you get a message that looks like it’s coming from your internet provider, or any internet provider for that matter claiming that you’ve been sending Spam or viruses or that your email address is going to be taken away from you, ignore it and by no means open the attachment that comes with it. It’s not from your ISP at all, and the attachment is a virus disguised as an information package or some other sort of tool to help you get rid of whatever problem the email claims that you have. Here are a couple of examples of what these emails look like so that you know what to watch for. There are more, but these 2 should give you a pretty good idea of what the deal is.
Dear user of “Rogers.com” mailing system,
Our main mailing server will be temporary unavaible for next two days,
to continue receiving mail in these days you have to configure our free
auto-forwarding service.
For more information see the attached file.
For security reasons attached file is password protected. The password is
“48086”.
Kind regards,
The Rogers.com team
http://www.rogers.com
Note that the Rogers.com site that is mentioned in the email isn’t even the support site for that company, it’s their main company website where you go to learn about them and buy services. Here’s a slightly different virus message designed to spread the same virus.
Dear user, the management of Uoguelph.ca mailing system wants to let
you know that,
Our antivirus software has detected a large ammount of viruses outgoing
from your email account, you may use our free anti-virus tool to clean
up
your computer software.
Further details can be obtained from attached file.
Attached file protected with the password for security reasons. Password
is 58117.
Kind regards,
The Uoguelph.ca team
http://www.uoguelph.ca
Again, pretty clever trick including the correct website, or at least trying to. The site listed is actually the main page of the University Of Guelph and not the site for their computer support people.
I know that not all anti-virus programs have been updated to catch this virus yet but I’m sure it’s just a matter of time. In the meantime, be careful and don’t open anything you don’t recognize and aren’t expecting. You should also keep checking for new updates to your virus scanning software if you have any. If you don’t, to be quite honest you have no business on the internet at all until you get something good, and I don’t mean that free piece of shit AVG which hardly even qualifies as software let alone anti-virus scanning software. If you want to get a really good and not very costly package click
here
and buy the anti-virus program that they have for sale there. I use it and I’ve never been able to give myself a virus. This program and a little common sense should keep you pretty safe. Just pay attention to what you’re reading and what you’re clicking on and you should be ok. Just be careful out there.
Ok, warning over. We now return you to your regular Vomit Comet retardedness.
Well today the Caps sent Gonchar to the Bruins in exchange for basically ammounts to nothing. Hopefully this means that we can all stop talking about him and move on to a player that we actually need.
Leafs fans, myself included, have such a huge arrogance that it can shadow reality. We’ve all been guilty at one point or another of saying something like “why don’t they just go out and get gonchar?”. Well it’s pretty simple. Toronto is not the only team in the league that wants to improve or make deals….as proven with the Gonchar trade.
Inevitably on all the call in shows today it will be all talk about how the Leafs missed out on him but really, it has more to do with the fact that there are other teams out there. This year it was Gonchar, last year Niinimaa, year before that Blake. We always want the one big guy out there, and well… everyone wants that guy. People don’t want to acknowledge what the Leafs do do. We just want to complain. Last year the leafs went out and got Nolan more than a week before the deadline. He did not pan out last season the way we wanted but they did still go get him and he’s played well this year. At the beginning of last season they lost CuJo and signed the biggest goaltender out thereand look how he’s turned out for us. As shown in the lastmonth, we’re nothing without him. This summer they signed Joe Niewendyk and while he’s been pretty good this year I think we’ll see his true value in the playoffs.
The Leafs do still need to do something but it’s not as dark as it seems. Last night the Leafs were dominant on offense. The Sundin line could not be contained and save for a few mistakes the defense looked bad. Now those mistakes ended up in our net and they can’t be there during playoff time but I don’t think it’s as bad as people think. We need a good stay at home defensemen and hopefully now that Gonchar is off the market, that will be realized.
Also an interesting thought on the radio this morning was possibly adding a physical center. It may not look like we need that right now but if you look at the lines it makes sense. The Sundin line should stay the same, you’ve got the SkyLine with Joe, Pony and Antropov. The third line right now has Tucker and Nolan centered by … Reichel? That’s no good. Those two wingers are physical guys who can score. Reichel doesn’t fit with them. Get them a big play making center and you could be looking at the 3 very dangerous lines. That would leave Stajan, Domi and Renberg for the 4th line and I’ve got no problem with that. Sit Reichel for all I care. Or eat some contract and use him in a trade for his replacement or a d-man. he may not be great but someone will take a guy like that if you eat some of his contract. He has shown some promise before.
In closing. I’d just like to say that the space bar on this here computer is shit and I apologize for any run together words in this thing.
Oh ya, and it’s just me but I’d look for Leetch to be traded somewhere possibly even by the end of today. With Gonchar gone teams needing d-men could panic and over pay just to make sure they get him before anyone else. Just a thought.
I love when people send me stuff to post, it makes it look like I’m working really hard to update the site and provide content when I’m actually just checking the mail and pasting stuff into the box. So in that spirit, I got this from everybody’s favourite comment board poster, Greg Twilly, who asked me if I’d post it, and I am, because it’s funny and he makes a few good points here. Not only that but Greg rules and deserves to have every word he says read and respected by all.
Remember, neither Matt nor I wrote this and I’m not correcting anybody’s spelling, I’m posting this as is, same goes for anybody else who sends me anything, which anyone out there is welcomed to do by the way. So now, here’s Greg!
for those of you out there that are going to colleges in ontario, you are in the same situation that i, greg twilly am in. tonight at midnight the teachers
are supposed to go on strike. this strike may last a couple of days, but they say that it shouldnt go any longer than 2 weeks. thats great. i dont care
if it lasts until next wedenesday, that way i can watch all of the trades in the nhl on the deadline day, but if it goes any longer, i think that all of
the teachers can go fuck themselves with their high paying job paystubs!! they dont feel that they get enough time off. THEY GET 14 WEEKS A YEAR OFF!!
lets start with the winter semester, jan – april. march break – 1 week, usually 2 weeks between semesters, which brings us to the summer semester. at
my school, or at least my program, they get 7 week off in the summer semester, and yet another 2 weeks between semesters. and finally, the fall semester.
they dont get any weeks off during the semester, but they get 2 weeks off in december for christmas break. i didnt mention the stat holidays, but there
are 6 stat holidays = 1 week. so there, if my math is correct, is 15 weeks of time off for the bastards. now, i dont know about you, but i dont know
of too many jobs that offer 15 weeks of holiday time. most jobs you start with 2 weeks and you get more the longer you work there, but you would have
to work in a place for like 60 years to get that much time off. so now they are talking about the amount of students that are comming out of high school
now and are entering post secondary schools. for the colleges, cut your numbers for enrollment down, make it harder for the little horny fucks to get
in, make it so that you better the college by not having so many people drop out. that is all that the colleges are in it for is the money. when i started
my program, there was about 120 students accepted. there are now maybe 60 left. that is half of the students that have dropped out, and mostly in the
first or second semester. that is $78,000 that they got from students for tuition, and where is it going? the other thing about the over population is
that in some ways it is the teachers faults. how many of your teachers have kids in high school? use a fucking condom or the pill, thats what that shit
is there for. at my school, they have been constructing and renovating like mad. in the 3 years that i have been there, they have added on or built 7
or 8 new buildings. these teachers are probably going to strike and fuck the students over. they are going to delay the end of the semester, which they
dont have time to do, and if they decide to cancel this semester, well then the class is going to be bigger again next year. and what about the students
that are graduating after this semester, who have jobs that they are supposed to start when they are done?
so there you go! tonight we find out if they are going to strike, but hopefully they can work this stuff out by friday.
and for all of the teachers that are whining about they jobs, suck it up and get back to work.
I was in a department store yesterday when I saw what could possibly be the funniest damn thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Somehow I ended up looking at women’s underwear, [don’t worry, I was with a woman at the time, I ain’t no pervert or nothin’,] when I saw them sitting there. For 5 dollars they could have been mine and stupidly I left them there and I’ve been kicking myself ever since. You see you have to understand, these weren’t just any old regular underwear, these were special, let me describe them to you.
On the front they had a big picture of a Chinese food box, complete with chopsticks and in big letters it said “takeout.” On the back in the same sort of big letters was written “sweet and sour.”
Now to top it all off and so you understand just why this made me laugh so damn hard if that isn’t enough, these weren’t even adult underwear. They were made for a small person, probably somebody around the size of a 13-year-old. Who the hell’s gonna buy that? Ok so I almost did, but that’s different, I would have kept them for myself, not given them to my kid. Trust me, if my kid ever gets caught wearing something that says takeout across the snatch it ain’t gonna be my fault. I mean I’m pretty open minded and all but you’ve gotta draw the line somewhere I figure and up to now I can’t think of a better place than that.
Two drunks are driving down the road. The first drunk looks over at the other drunk and says, “I think we are getting closer to downtown.”
The second drunk says, “How can you tell?”
The first drunk says “We’re hitting more and more people.”