They’re Comin’ Fast Now

Well everybody’s favourite evil do-er, Satan, has chimed in with some more rejected Christmas Carols for us all to enjoy.

“Christmas Carols For The Psychiatrically Challenged (981C2303 DOC)

SCHIZOPHRENIA
Do You Hear What I Hear?

MULTIPLE PERSONALITY
We Three Queens Disoriented Are

DEMENTIA
I Think I’ll Be Home For Christmas

NARCISSISTIC
Hark The Herald Angels Sing (About Me)

MANIA
Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn
(or)
Deck the Halls and Spare No Expense

PARANOIA
Santa Claus is Coming To Get Me

PERSONALITY DISORDER
You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout,
then MAYBE I’ll tell you why

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,

Or there’s my favorite

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
Got that way by drinking beer
One nite crashed Santa’s sleigh
Cause he was way too drunk to steer

All of the other reindeer,
Used to laugh and call him names
Cause he was the funnel faced reindeer
When they all played drinking games

Then one drunken Christmas eve, Santa came to say
Who puked on the childrens toys
Think of all the sad girls and boys

Then all the reindeer got mad
And they shouted out you tool.
But they couldn’t laugh at poor Rudolph
When he landed the sleigh in the pool.

He later died of liver disease
Merry Christmas

Thank you, Satan. You may now return to the bowels of hell where you came from. It’s a very posh area, isn’t it?

Thursday’s Blogging BONANZA!!!

Hello everyone and welcome to YOUR Thursday. We got a few things to hit on, so let’s get right at it. There hasn’t been much put in the last few days so thanks for stickin’ with us. But it’s not like there’s any shortage of things to check out over on the links list.

To that end…. Today we add another. Definitely worth your while to check out The Mozart’s Ghost Radio Network. Some good stuff over there and its most certainly worth a click.

So New Years Eve is only 20 days away. I had a lovely chat last night with Steve about his “New Years Eve Countdown Of Choice”. Be cool to get some feedback happening down on the comment board about which New Years Eve special you choose to have in the background at your New Years Bash.. or what event you choose to attend for that matter. Any New Years stories are welcome here. Has anyone heard any of the talent line-ups for any of the New Years specials. I haven’t heard anything out of any of the major networks. There’s usually some pretty solid musical performances put on for these things but I haven’t heard anything as of yet.

Keeping with the festive talk; Thanks to Steve for sending me another rejected Christmas Carol. Don’t ask me why he didn’t post it himself as he has the power to do so… but thanks nonetheless to him…. Here it is…

Note: Those easily offended should scim over this. Hmmm, probably best you leave the site altogether now that I think about it. You’ve been warned.

“Here’s a rejected Christmas song for ya if you’re still looking for those.
Found it in a bunch of jokes I was looking at.

Deck The Halls, Gay Style
*************************
See the drag queen, his name is Molly.
Fa La La La La La La La La

For 50 bucks, he’ll make you jolly.
Fa La La La La La La La La

See him in his gay apparel.
Fa La La La La La La La La

You should meet his brother Carol!
Fa La La La La La La La La

Don we now our gay apparel
Fa La La La La La La La La

Suck we now the pink meat barrel
Fa La La La La La La La La“

Thank you, Steve. Very… graphic. I’m sure all the school children will be singing that come next Christmas… if you decide to let them out of your room, that is.

Well, that’s about it for now but don’t forget to go check out all the great stuff over at Salty Ham. I’m sure you’ll see something you like over there.

I’m sure one of us will be back later with some more irrelevant crap to pass your way.

Later

I’m Scared Of You People

One of the cool things about our hit counter is that we can see how people got here. No, we’re not spying on you, it’s all pretty standard stuff. Like if you click to us from somebody’s site where there’s a link to us, we can tell, that sort of thing. The coolest thing about this is that we can see when people come to us from a search engine and what it was they were looking for at the time. But while this is cool, it’s pretty disturbing sometimes when you actually sit down and go through some of the search terms.

We get our fair share of normal stuff, like people looking for info on Joe Shmoe, which Matt has talked about quite a bit. We get some people looking for info on famous people or news stories and funny jokes, and I understand why our site shows up there too. But then there’s the guy who came here looking for father daughter incest pictures. We don’t have any but because Google just looks for words that match the search terms that the person types in, it found us because we’ve used words like fucking and father in different contexts quite a bit. Why some sick bastard would bother looking for things like that I’m not even gonna try to figure out, it just sucks that he landed here, even though we might have made a new fan or even if we didn’t, he still counted as a hit.

I also saw somebody get here the other day while trying to find pictures of Randy Orton’s penis. Sorry, none of those here either, unless Matt decides to share his secret stash.

But I think the weirdest one I’ve seen is this one.
01 Dec, Mon, 02:11:52
Google:
girlfriend picture Partying friends 2003 peeing

Don’t ask me how exactly we fit in, I’m not sure.

I guess the morral of the story here is be careful what you look for online, somebody could be watching. We’re kind of like Santa that way, we know if you’ve been bad or good so don’t be a child molester for goodness sake.

It’s Alive?

This morning when I turned on my computer to check my mail I found a couple of emails asking me where the site went. First of all, thanks, I had no idea you cared. As for where the site went, it seems like the Blog Spot server took a dump sometime over night and as a result, everybody’s blog disappeared, well all but 1, which further confuses the situation. But I think everything should be back to normal now. Before I started writing this I checked again and it was working, and if you’re able to read this, well, things are obviously back to normal again, at least for now.

In other news, it seems that I am
this week’s RAW Rage Champion.
Funny part is that I wasn’t even trying. I’m just that damn good I suppose, either that or the rest of the competition completely sucked, as opposed to my moderate sucktitude. Either way, you should read RAW Rage, Roland does a great job on that thing. Even if you’ve already seen RAW, and if you have you have my deepest sympathies, you should read anyway, if only for the tasty little extras.

Last night somebody posted a comment about
New Era Radio
saying that he or she listened for a little while but the guy on the air sucked and was annoying as hell. Agreed. Not only was he having sound problems, he doesn’t have the voice for radio and he’s a bit of an idiot to start with, at least that’s my feeling from limited experience. The guy before him did an amazing show if you’re into older rock music though, so they’re still in my good books. It’s open format radio, you’ve gotta take the good with the bad sometimes. And maybe shitty guy’s shows will get better with time. I know that for me personally, I feel a lot better about the radio I do now than I used to, and I even thought my early stuff was pretty good, mostly because I’m an egotistical fuck. And when you add in the unpredictability of the internet and all of it’s potential for technical problems, things can go wrong in a hurry. I’ve never done internet radio and I probably never will but it doesn’t seem like the easiest thing in the world to do well. Look around
Shoutcast
a little and you’ll see what I mean, especially when you get into the hobby stations.

Possibly more later, time and topics permitting.

Nothing To Talk About

So, I don’t have much to talk about here. I was sick most of last week so I didn’t do much of anything other than get some more Christmas shopping done. I didn’t get spanked by an old man at a hockey game. I have no fun drunk stories to share with you. Man, I suck these days. The most exciting things I’ve done so far today are finish my column and do some stuff at the radio station. Not really prime site material. So instead, I’ll send you to a couple of other places so you don’t run out of things to do.

First, have a listen to
New Era Radio.
They’re new, they have a lot of pretty cool sounding shows and the mix of music they play between live programs seems to be pretty solid. Anybody who plays “Can’t Get You Out Of My Head” and the Marilyn Manson version of “Sweet Dreams” back to back has gotta be cool. They’re an internet only station and they’ll play just about anything. They’re streaming in broadband and dial-up so there’s no excuse not to listen. Well maybe there is, but listen anyway.

Ok, now that you’ve got some mood music, check out
this new section on Lots Of Jokes.com.
It’s a whole bunch of practical jokes you can play on people. You can even submit your own after reading what they already have. Some of them are pretty funny.

When you’re done with all that, come back here and see if either of us have said anything. For now, I’m gone.

Offspring And Such

Good Monday Morning to you all,
Well this will be short as I have much to, not the least of which being sending hate mail to carin over her views on “Hit That”. But….

Last night I was listening to The New Music and they threw out another track from the new Offspring album that may have been good enough for me to overlook Hit That and have me buy the album. The track is called “Spare Me The Details” and I was really in to it. It’s not your typical Offspring track at all as it’s not very heavy at all but I loved it. I would highly reccomend you at least download the track.

Last night I was at the Civic Auditorium to watch one of the strongest rivalries in OHL as Oshawa took on Peterborough. Now it was a great game if you like drama but not if you like the Gens. They dropped down 5-1 early in the second period and eventually clawed their way back in to it over the next two period and almost tied it in the last minute but failed to do so, and lost. The game itself is not why I bring this up.

There is a standing room section where you can lean on this railing all the way around the arena so the seats are small and I’m not so for the second period I stood up there and watched the game. About 9 minutes in to the period somebody slaps the side of my ass. I turn around with the thought in my head that “if this is not someone in my family that I came with, they’re hitting the floor”. I turn around and see this creepy, little, gray haired man standing there glairing at me like he’s the one that should be annoyed that someone has just slapped his ass. I stood there looking at him until he finally said, in a voice trying to sound like a bad-ass biker or something “y’wanna get outta my spot?”. I look around in amazement at the brash of this Hanz Moleman look alike thinking of a number of things that I’d like to say to him before realizing that this is probably a guy who’s been comming to these games since 1964 and has stood in the same place for every single game since then and if his routine was interrupted his head would probably explode so I gave him “his” spot back and moved down a bit.

From time to time through the period he would turn and glair at me which was starting to creep me out and eventually got bad enough that it made me decide I’d take my chances with the small seat and headed back down.

Sorry, I just hate people like that.

Be Back Later

Something To Try

I can’t figure out why this happens but it’s extremely amusing. Go to
Google
and type the words “miserable failure” including the quotes into the search box and then hit the I’m feeling lucky button and have a look at where it goes. And before you ask, no, I’m not spending my days typing random phrases into search engines to see what I find. I found this while doing actual work, seriously.