Ok. Let’s Have Some Fun

Well that last post was kinda depressing and so let’s move on with something a little bit more fun. I’ll give you some very brief background and then ask for some help.

Here at work I share a desk with a man who, is quite possibly, the most ignorant person to ever walk this planet. I’m sure you’ll take that as an exaduration but the few of you who have met him, will back me up. The man is truley just an all ’round asshole. He treats everyone in the office like his own personal slave, he parks in the handicap spot, he stands in the middle of the main work area yelling and swearing in to his cell phone rather than stepping outside or at least toning it back. The man is truley a dick and the only reason he still has a job here is because he kisses ass like no one I’ve ever seen to one of the owners. That said… I’m left with the unenviable task of sharing a desk with the supreme shit head. He uses the speaker phone while I try to work, he slams desk drawers in to my desk and he swears and mutters under his breath along with many other irritating and ignorant trates. Here’s where you come in.

I wanna se this man made a fool of, at least one time. Nothing serious. Just a small annonomous prank so that the entire office can see this man get brought down a peg or two. Something to his chair, something to some of his paperwork. Something small. Anybody out there got any neat little ideas no how to knock this steaming pile off of his pedistol? I bet Karine does. She strikes me as a total bad-ass. lol.

Thanks, Guys.

Seriously. This Scares The Shit Out Of Me

On the news this morning they’re talking about a brawl that took place outside a highschool last night at about 9:30pm. (just as night classes were letting out)

Now, that in itself isn’t all that scarey as school yard brawls aren’t completely uncommon in a big city like Toronto. What’s scarey is the fact that every person involved was armed, and armed heavily and there were about NINETY PEOPLE involved.

The reports say that these kids were carrying knives, sticks, chains and even swords. Personally, I’m not sure where you come across a fight-ready sword these days but that’s beside the point. Well maybe it’s not. Who goes to a brawl these days with a sword knowing you have to get within 5 feet of the person to hit them when chances are they could just shoot you while you’re coming towards them…. well anyway.

One teen is dead and 3 others are in hospital with serious injuries following this insident.

Violence in schools no longer seems to be a problem in this city. Seems like the problem is more the violence just outside of the schools.

Really, this isn’t a subject to made light of but I can’t help but wonder what would start something like this. I mean it clearly has to be gang related. I mean that many people don’t just leave school and see a fight, pull out the 16th century jousting sword they keep in their back-packs and decide to join in. I guess it could have been drug related but that seems like an awfully large number of people to have been involved if it were over a drug deal gone bad. I’d also say that this was pre-planned by both sides a long time ago as the masses were so large. A fight doesn’t just start between 2 people and eventually lead to 90 people fighting on two clearly divided sides.

It’s scarey to think that leaving a night class I could come across a huge brawl like this. This will only fuel angry parents demmanding up security in their schools. Even if these people had nothing to do with the school (which has not been termined yet) there will once again be a huge serge of demmand for dress codes and things of that nature in school to keep kids “safer”.

I really have no conclusion for this as it’s something that I’m sure will continue for some time now.

Be Safe

Pro Athletes Are Retarded

Well, I’ve heard 2 headlines in the last 2 days in the world of Pro-Sports, both of which leave me scratching my head. Let’s go in chronological order, shall we?

Two days ago Ivan “Pudge” Rodriguez of the WORLD CHAMPION Florida Marlins filed for free agency. Now, that in itself isn’t insanely off the wall although regardless of situation, I don’t know why you would want to leave the defending champions when they are clearly one of the best young teams in baseball and they will only get better. But let’s rewind a little bit to the night that the Florida Marlins defeated the Yankees in Yankee Stadium, as this is why I must complain.

On that night they interviewed our friend, Mr. Rodriguez as is customary after the World Series. He obviously expressed his joy of winning a World Series and gave many thanks and props to many people. He then made a comment which really spoke to me, not just because it exuded such confidence, but because it made me think to myself ‘now there’s a guy that thinks a lot of his team mates’. Rodriguez stated that if the team of young players is kept together it will be a great team contending for the World Series for at least the next decade. He said that they WOULD become the New York Yankees of the National League if they were all kept together. And at the time, it was hard to disagree. They had one of the best young pitchers in the world and a slew of young talent that now had tasted winning, and new what it would take to do it again.

SO WHAT THE HELL IS HE LEAVING FOR???

This guy went out and made a bold statement about how great his team mates are and the organization is and STATED CLEARLY they would be World Series Contenders for years to come with this group. Then a month later he’s just gonna leave.

It might just be me but no matter what happens now, he looks like a complete moron and for two possible reasons.

1. Maybe he didn’t really mean what he said about the team and the organization and doesn’t believe they will be contenders for years to come. That’s fine. DON’T SAY IT ON THE LARGEST BASEBALL BROADCAST OF THE YEAR! Now when you go and leave you stupid. That’s it. You said you believe this is one of the best teams in baseball, so now you’re leaving one of the best teams in baseball. That just looks stupid. If he hadn’t said that during his interview and now left, it wouldn’t look so bad because you never said all these things. You’re free to go. But you did say them and now you look stupid because in the media’s and fan’s eyes you’re just stupid because you’re leaving something you’ve said is so great.

2. He really is just an idiot. He said it, meant it and is just too stupid to realize he doesn’t HAVE to leave. it’s his option. He can stay. So, that’s possible. He genuinely is just stupid. If that’s the case then you can’t really be mad, just kinda feel sorry for him.

The second headline is that today Steve Thomas has signed on with the Detroit Red Wings. Now let’s recap last spring. Normally people go to Detroit for a chance to win. Last year in the FIRST ROUND of the playoffs the Detroit Red Wings got their faces smashed in 4 games strait and went home early. Upon closer examination you will notice that Steve Thomas wasn’t watching the Wings get spanked from a far. Oh no. He was on the team so readily handing the Wings their own asses in such convincing fashion. This begs the question. Why? The wings have a tendency to do this stuff. So they’ve got a lot of talent. Big deal. Last year within the first 2 rounds of the playoffs Detroit, Colorado, Dallas, Toronto and Philadelphia were all gone. The two conference finals were Ottawa/Jersey and Ducks/Wild. Where’s the big money there? Where’s DETROIT? It’s time that these players stop believing that which ever owner has the biggest wallet will win the cup. Especially when only months before you were a part of easily slapping 2 of these “big money” teams right in the face and saying “piss off, moneybags.”. We’ll see how Mr Thomas does in Detroit? I wonder if he consulted his friend Curtis Joseph on how much of a guaruntee going to Detroit for a cup really is.

Later, y’all.

The Steve’s Mind Clearing House

Over the last day or 2 in our apartment building they’ve been trying to fix some water damage that was caused when somebody’s pipe burst and flooded out a bunch of other apartments. Because of this, they keep turning our water on and off. I don’t mind that, because I know that they’re going to have to do that a few times to find the problem and fix it. What I do mind is what happens when they turn it back on. Thing is that since we’ve got no idea when they’re going to shut it off, we have no idea when they’re going to turn it back on either. So here’s what happens. Say I want to fill our water jug for the fridge or wash my hands. Both perfectly innocent activities I’m sure you’d agree. Now keep in mind that the water has been turned off previous to me deciding to do either of these things. While it’s been off, air has had time to build up inside the pipes, air that has to go somewhere when the force of the water trying to get through to me hits it. So where does it go you might be asking yourselves. Well, all over me, that’s where. What happens is that every time I turn on the taps now I always have to jump back a step to make sure that I’m not going to get hit by the giant wattery air bubble of certain death that splashes cold watter all over me. Here’s the rub, I never make it, because I always forget to move since I’m not used to having to get out of the way of flying cold water. I hope they fix things soon.

I just read about a study in the news that found that 66 percent of the time children don’t listen to their parents. I can’t say I’m surprised, especially if they studied parents who are like most of the ones I’ve seen. You know, the kind that will tell you that they’re only going to say something once but then yell at you for the same things over and over again, Or the kind that will tell you it’s not nice to hit other people while they’re hitting you. “DON’T! HIT! YOUR! LITTLE! BROTHER!” Kids aren’t disobedient, they’re just confused.

And while we’re talking about parents, how about the ones who have ever said something as stupid as “if you don’t quit crying, I’m going to give you something to cry about.”

Another thing I read in the news today was that they’ve cleared our Sea King helicopters to fly again. Now if you’re not up on the Canadian military’s fleet of world class choppers, they’re about 40 years old and you hear about one of them crashing about as frequently as you hear that rain is coming. There’s actually a joke floating around that the reason they call them Sea Kings is because they’re always Sea King The ground. One of those that you might have to read out loud a couple times before it makes sense. Anyway, back to my point. They’ve cleared them to fly again but one of the rules that has been set down is that they can’t conduct hovering drills over a non-paved area. That doesn’t make sense to me. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? I know that if I was going to fall out of the sky it would probably be better to land on something soft rather than cement. Maybe that’s just me.

Take The Bus With Me

Well happy Wednesday to you all, unless you live in one of those weird time zones where it either isn’t Wednesday yet or has been already. Or maybe you’re seeing this days into the future while finding the site for the first time and skimming the archives, or you haven’t been here in a few days and you have to catch up… So many possibilities, so little care to actually figure out what they all are. Maybe wishing you people anything but a happy birthday is just too complicated seeing as the internet is a global village and all. How about this. Happy whatever it is where you happen to be to everybody no matter where or when you are reading these words. Yeah, that should keep the little bastards happy. Oops, I think I typed that out loud. I’ve really gotta stop that.

The other day I was on a bus going somewhere and I saw something that just freaked me out, not to mention pissed me off.

Picture your average day, an average group of people traveling someplace, going about their daily lives, the only thing that they all happen to have in common is their choice of transit, they’re all on a city bus bound for the same place. Now picture the driver sitting up front, piloting who knows how many thousand pounds of people and vehicle down the busy streets of a mid-sized city, deftly avoiding cyclists and pedestrians with the greatest of skill and ease that is possessed by a well-trained public transit opperator. As the bus travels onward, speeding quickly toward it’s destination a ringing is heard. It is the ringing of a cell phone, a sound not foreign to bus commuters. But this ringing is not coming from one of the passengers on the standing room only bus, oh no, this ringing is coming from the front of the bus and is answered by the driver who commences a very jovial private conversation with lord only knows who. I’m sitting pretty close to the front of the bus and can hear every word he’s saying. He’s joking about how he’s in his office right now conducting business. Yes, I think to myself, the business of not getting me killed, get off the fucking phone, idiot! He doesn’t.

So the bus roles on and the driver, with all the skill and grace of a robot stops at every corner to let more people on, even though the bus resembles a goddamn sardine can at this point. It’s so bad in fact that I’m starting to think that a few people who wanted off missed their stops simply because they couldn’t fucking move. Our hero the driver however seems completely oblivious to this and keeps yammering away to whomever is on the phone in his hand.

Finally, we get to the final destination and people start to pile off. Now I’m not sure about other cities, but in mine, it’s customary to say thanks to the driver when you leave a bus and wish him a good day. He in turn, does the same to you. Not this prick. He’s so engrossed in whatever he’s talking about on the phone that he completely ignores everybody getting off and getting on.

Sadly, this isn’t the first time that I’ve seen the situation I just described and even more sadly, it won’t be the last time either. I have no problem with cell phones in general, I want to make that clear. I own one, and they really can be quite useful. What I do have a problem with is the use of those phones by people I’m paying to get me somewhere safely, IE cabbies and bus drivers. I don’t own a car so unless I walk everywhere, I have to rely on these people to get me from point A to point B in one piece, and I have to pay them to do so. And since a fair number of these people are prone to driving like maniacs to begin with, I think there should be an outright ban on the use of cell phones by professional drivers while they’re on duty, meaning that whenever they’re taking somebody somewhere, the phone is off. If you’re in the break room or parked under a tree, chat away but don’t do it when you’re taking me somewhere. It’s just disrespectful. In fact, I think the next time somebody does that to me, he’s not getting paid. You don’t pay for shitty service anywhere else, so why should I in this case, when not only the lives of the people in the vehicle are involved, but the lives of those outside of it? Just something to think about.

Steve

BEST! RESULTS! REPORT! EVER!

So I’m sitting here at my computer eating some soup after a fairly long day, reading some email and catching up on my wrestling news when I find
this
posted on an otherwise high quality website. I’m not going to reproduce this in full, just the funniest part. How the webmaster, who is responsible for the content of the site could look at this and then decide to post it is beyond me. Maybe that was the only report they got but if that’s the case, just take somebody else’s and credit them, that would have been better than what you are about to read.

Hey, I just got home from Raw at the Gund Arena in Cleveland, and I thought I would write to you guys. First off the crowd wasn’t really into it the whole
time, just during certain times. There was alot of “boring” chants.

Dark Matches
A Guy with purple tights vs a guy in white tights.
The guy in purple tights had a cape on when he walked into the ring. The guy in white was from a near by city. The fans where behind the guy in white. People
called him Shaker cause he was from Shaker Heights. Guy in white won.

Two Huge Guys vs Two Wimpy looking geeks.
The wimpy guys got crushed by this team of big guys. One of the big guys looked like Goldberg, but he had tattoos all over his back and arms. The two wimps
where from Cleveland but the fans didn’t care, they where behind the big fellas.
———-
Isn’t that just ever so enlightening? And more than a little frightening?

I Won’t Be Mad If You Don’t Read This

Well good day, all. I’ll warn you all right now I have nothing of any importance to say at this point in the day and I’m really only posting cuz I haven’t done fuck all around here to help Steve out and he’s been doing an admirable job. And to avoid infighting I figured I would throw some stuff up here too. Let’s begin.

First. I would suggest that you all go and check out CrazyFads.com if you’re really bored. I say that because while it is humourous and neat to see… it really isn’t something to time out of a busy day to do. I mean I found it by going to Bored.com so I mean it must be there for a reason. The more I think about it you people must not have very busy days if you’re able to come here and read crap like this… but we thank you.

Saturday night I ate at Planet Hollywood for the first time in a few years. You remember how huge the concept was and you would wait hours and hours to get in because it was “the place to be”? Uh huh. Well not now. No line-up, empty restaurant, and sub-par fries. Now I suppose it could have just been this particular restaurant but I was less than excited while I was in there. When these places were huge a while back it was because you believed that when you went in there was a good chance you may an actual celeb. It didn’t have to be a huge name, but you’d probably see someone. Well we sat beside a cardboard cut-out of Richard Simmons. YA!!!!!. I’ll tell ya somethin’ else too. It’s hard to eat looking at that! Anyway, it was a neat idea while it lasted but it seems that the trend has warn off and is really nothing more than just another theme restaurant. I was kinda hoping I’d see this site’s resident celeb, Karine, there but no such luck. Oh sure. You may not know her too well right now but I would say within months you won’t be able to turn around without seeing Karine’s picture on billboards everywhere. You just wait.

Tonight the Leafs will host the Mario-less Penguins at the ACC. I admire what Mario is trying to do by keeping the team in Pittsburgh but honestly pal, it’s time to hang’em up. If you’re no longer able to play every game than it’s not fair to the rest of the team you’re trying to save cuz they never have any idea what their roster will look like. Also not fair to the fans of Pittsburgh and around the league. While Mario is trying his hardest to keep a team there for the Penguin fans to cheer, he’s also kinda screwing with their heads. When the season schedule came out I looked ahead to see when Mario would be coming to T.O. because I figured this would be his last season and I’d never seen him live before. For one reason or another I never bought the tickets and now I’m glad I did. I know I’m not the only hockey fan who would pick the Pittsburgh game over another “high powered team” to go to just to get to see Mario. The guy’s a superstar but for those who did book the tickets, they’re now stuck with a ticket to see possibly the worst team in the Eastern Conference with its only superstar out of the line-up. It’s one thing when a guy gets hurt. It’s quite another when the guy has no intention of playing every game. It just kinda bugs me.

Well, that’s probably good for now. I won’t sign this one with “More Later” like I did yesterday as yesterday I never ended up writing anything else.

ONe last thing, quickly. Yesterday was our second highest day in terms of hits and there are a lot of people who keep returning. We’re glad you’re enjoying it and thanks for supporting us. Make sure you check out the links over there on the right as some of them lead to others who are helping us out to. Much love to those people.

Keep Hope Alive

How Normal Are You?

Thanks to
Karine
for this one that she left on the comment board.

Head on over to
Bathroom Life
and take the survey. Once you get to the main site, just click on survey and answer the questions. You don’t have to give your name or anything, which is a good thing. When you’re finished you’ll get to see the results as averaged out among all of the people who have answered the questions. A very interesting look into the bathrooms of your fellow humans to say the least.

As for me, I wasn’t in the majority as much as I was expecting and the whole thing left me confused about those around me and even a bit disturbed by them. The fact that only 47 percent of people say that they always wash their hands after going to the can is especially frightening. I was also surprised to find out that more women had taken the test than men, maybe I underestimate you girls sometimes. But anyway, head on over there and take the test, it’s fun.

I Hate That

I think one of the worst things in the world to have happen to you is to be cleaning out your fridge and happen upon something that you forgot you had. God it’s terrible when that happens. I think it would have to be right up there with cleaning up somebody else’s vomit or shitting your pants. You know you have to get right in there and take care of the situation but you just get such a feeling of dread and your gag reflex kicks in something fierce and it’s next to impossible sometimes.

The puke thing is bad but at least you know what you’re getting into once you have time to assess the situation. Opening containers in the fridge is a whole different ballgame though. It’s kind of like a mind game between you and whatever horror lies within. On the one hand you’re thinking “ok, this can’t be that bad, it hasn’t been there that long, has it? I’m such a puss, I should just open it.” But on the other you’ve got that voice of reason saying things like “I don’t remember the last time I used that tupperware for anything, maybe we should leave this for the girlfriend to find.” Some sort of mystical rancid forces are trying to turn your left and right brains against each other but inevitably you strike a balance between fearlessness and caution and decide to investigate…in the slowest manner possible.

So there you are, container in hand wondering if there’s any last minute garbage that needs to be taken out or if you should call your Mom just to say hello. But no, you are a fighter and damnit, you can get through this! Slowly you reach for the lid, all the while cursing yourself for not getting rid of things once a week. If only you were more vigilant, none of this would be happening. Then it happens, the top comes off. Sometimes it’s not so bad. It’s not so good mind you, but it was better than you were expecting it to be, nothing jumps out at you. But sometimes, like today for instance, you are greeted by something so vile and disgusting that you question the whole practice of eating food in the first place. Man, I hate Thanksgiving.