Siegfried And Lunch

I swear to all of you that I’m not making this up. I saw it on a newswire so until I hear otherwise this is absolutely true. Where do they find these people? This was just one of the stories that we covered on the
radio
today, and we had a good laugh about it, for obvious reasons. Well maybe they’re not so obvious to Roy Horn but that doesn’t mean that we can’t have a little fun at his expense. This makes me laugh every time I read it and again, I didn’t write this, it was reported as actual news on an actual news site so if it’s not true then it’s not my fault.

LAS VEGAS (Wireless Flash) — The white tiger who attacked animal illusionist Roy Horn has a message for him and Siegfried: “I need more time off.”

That’s what Montecore, the 600-pound white tiger reportedly told animal psychic Charlene Boyd when she telepathically visited him in his cage.

Boyd says Montecore attacked Roy because he was tired, “felt more was expected than he could handle” and because “he needed more down time.”

Even worse: Montecore feels little remorse for his actions even though he told Boyd he probably mauled the wrong trainer. In Boyd’s words, “He thought Roy
is `okay’ but didn’t care for Siegfried.”

The chances of Montecore going back on stage again are slim, but Boyd says the tiger wouldn’t mind as long as “there’s more emphasis on tiger education.”

Gees, where to begin with that. There’s nothing I could say here to make that any funnier. Guess I’ll just go and look for other topics or something and let you guys ponder the concept of an animal psychic. Man, that’s right up there with pet therapist on the usefulness scale.

Watch A Game, Man. (More on Roberts and Kovalchuk)

This was posted in response to my comments on Roberts and Kovalchuk. I believe it deserves to be here… you’ll see why in a moment.

Puck Talk

Gary Roberts vs. Kovalchuk….good comparison, but something’s wrong that I disagree with.
I’ll Roberts his due any day of the week, considering he’s a member of God’s Team In The National Hockey League. But Kovalchuk, from analysis from Pierre McGuire as well as Howard Berger of The FAN 6+0 both agree that Kovalchuk is a young Brett Hull.
I disagree Matt with your bashing of the young Atlanta Russian player who’s only 23, he’s got a long way to go to be even better. He can score, has a great shot and can one-time it like Hull and the other greats. Calling him GARBAGE is a little much. Ilya just stepped up his game because Dany Heatley is gone as well as this team is on an emotional high because of the unfortunete circumstances.
As far as Roberts is concerned, he’s 38 and we as Leaf fans, as well as hockey fans all know that he can’t play that style of crash-bang hockey every game. I think you’ve been hanging around Don Cherry a bit much.
Nick

And I think you’re an idiot.

Now, I have several things to say about this and it’s only up here because I didn’t want to make all you good people scroll down to the comment board to read it… Let’s begin, shall we.

There are two ways to address this. One is on a strictly hockey sense, the other is on an intelligence level. Just for shits and giggles, we’re gonna hit both. Hockey first.

Gary Roberts at 38 years old is twice the hockey player that Kovalchuk is RIGHT NOW. What I wrote earlier never questioned that Kovalchuk was a good player, because he is. I commented on his attitude. Pay attention, junior. Gary Roberts still goes out and crashes and bangs and goes hard to the net hard. Kovalchuk can shoot like a mad man and is faster than hell. But all the positives you said (great shot, one-time from anywhere and can score) leave out big parts of the game. Like, maybe passing or helping out on defense. The guy’s a floater. I could have 10 goals in the NHL right now too if I got to stand at cneter ice while my team mates fed me the puck and did all the work. I’ve yet to see him throw a hit or do an ounce of work along the boards. Roberts is a leader on and off the ice who 2 years ago single handedly carried his injury depleated team through the playoffs. Kovalchuk, well he has yet to get his team in to the playoffs even with Heatley’s help. it’s hard to compare because of talent levels on the two teams and the 2’s age differences, but it’s fact nonetheless. Let’s move on to the intelligence part of this arguement as thats where I’m most fumed after reading your post.

To be honest, that was idiotic. The Atlanta Thrashers are NOT on an emotional HIGH. A team mate died, fool. It’s an emotional time. You get an emotional high when you win the cup or score your 50th goal. Think about it. Second, you accuse me of spending too much time with Don Cherri. YOU LINKED TO TWO HOCKEY WRITERS. You don’t disagree with me, you agree with what you’re told on TSN. I don’t give 2 shits about Pierre McGuire. He’s entitled to his opinion and I am, mine. I don’t phone Pierre after his segments and tell him HE’S WRONG. Also, when I wrote my post. Did I ever try to say that Kovalchuk wasn’t a good player? In that post I simply said I hated him and Roberts was one of my faves. Reading your response makes me wonder if you even read my article cuz you didn’t touch on anything I said other than the word garbage which I stand by. He IS garbage. AS A PERSON. The points I brought up were about pumping a fist after an empty net or embarassing a young French team in international competition while representing your country. For my money. The two best players in the league right now are Todd Bertuzzi and Peter Forsberg. THEY DO IT ALL. Hit, defend, pass, score, stand up for team mates. I haven’t seen Kovalchuk jump in to a scrum yet to stand up for someone unless the guy had his back turned. You’re telling me my opinions aren’t mine, they’re Cherry’s. All I have to say to that in closing is this, and a few of you only will understand this. Man, you can quit questioning my OPINIONS and go back to posting Bob McKenzie’s Insider Reports into e-mails and sending them to everyone with your name on them claiming to be an Insider. Who’s ideas are those? With that.

I’M DONE!

Hallowe’en Countdown! "Trick Or Treat" BUBBLE TAPE!

Back with some more Hallowe’en fun. This time we take a look at Trick Or Treat Bubble Tape. How could it not be cool.

Don’t forget to check out all the other cool stuff on X-E. The place is loaded with all kinds neat stuff. But for now, let’s look at Hallowe’en Bubble Tape.

—I’m going to assume that everyone reading has tried “Bubble Tape” at some point in their life — if you haven’t, you’re insane. It’s six feet worth of bubble gum, all wrapped neatly into a little dispenser for one low cost. Six feet! If I’m remembering things correctly, Bubble Tape was first unleashed on the world when I was in the fifth grade — long time ago, so it’s a long-standing commodity in the candy market. When this stuff first came out, though, kids were absolutely wild for it. It wasn’t “just” gum, it was this huge experience and any of us who had a pack instantly climbed that unspoken social ladder by at least three steps. There was a huge ad campaign that tried to pit any child who ate Bubble Tape as a disobedient rebel and generally cool guy, so of course, that’s the gum we wanted the most. Over the years, there’s been oodles of new flavors, but it doesn’t seem to pack quite the star quality it did during my youth. There’s been spans of months where I won’t see it on sale anywhere, but fortunately, it’ll always pop up again, sometimes with a weird gimmick. A weird gimmick like this: Bubble Tape’s “Trick or Treat” black raspberry gum. Yep, you can say “holy shit” now. Even Bubble Tape has a Halloween edition.

It’s interesting, to say the least. As bubble gum in general just becomes more tastebud-assaulting in the sour and tart department, black raspberry seemed like a natural choice. Indeed, the inside of your mouth with go batshit nutso upon receipt of the gum. The “bubble” part isn’t quite literal, as it’s not really chewy enough to make anything but a few token bubs that last two seconds before staining your lips with deep purple gumjuice. They should market that as a selling point. Kids love looking filthy. I don’t, but the stains remain nonetheless. I just had a piece now, and my tongue looks like a half-defrosted steak. I wonder if eating “Trick of Treat” Bubble Tape can help me nail a halfassed-but-passable Halloween costume.

“Hi partygoers. I’m the guy with the bruised tongue. I hear there’s punch!!”

I’m perfectly fine with Halloween Bubble Tape — actually, the thought of it tickles me. There’s just one thing I gotta know, and it’s something that’s bothered me for the better part of my life.

Is there really six feet of gum in there?

Nope, there isn’t. They’re more than a full foot short with that claim. I even allowed for a reasonable margin of error, as the end of the roll was pretty brittle and impossible to lay out in a straight line without breakage. BUBBLE TAPE HAS BEEN LYING TO US, FOLKS. There’s only 4’11” worth of gum in those packages. We’ve been gypped!

Though, you know, 4’11” worth of bubble gum is nothing to cry about. I just so wished that the wad of unchewed glory would actually be taller than I am. If only I was an Oompaloompa. With a bruised tongue. With lots and lots of money. Think I’ll go chew my sorrows away. Bye. 🙁

Enemies, Mr Shmoe, A Russian Retard & MORE!!

It seems that my newest enemy, Steve, and my oldest enemy, let’s call her… EVIL HUMANIZED have united lately in a movement to shatter my ego. Well, let me say this! The two of you have much work ahead of you to smash THIS ego. I’m not sure at what point Steve and I actually BECAME enemies. It seems that decision was made for us but rest assured friend. You’re in for a war. I now consider you to be on the same level as things like Oprah, Big Show work-rate, our friend Chris, pineapple juice and other things that plague my life. You join elite company.

Just thought I’d pass on yet another reminder of tonight’s Joe Shmoe Show finale on Spike TV. You’d better be watching or …. uhh… hmmm. This threatening stuff is hard. Moving on.

As I said late last night. I went to see the Leafs/Thrashers game. Was actually a good game but it provided a unique experience. I was able to see the player who is right now probably my favourite in the league and the player that is BY FAR the guy I hate most in the league.

Yup. Gary Roberts vs Ilya Kovalchuk. I’m sure most of you can guess which is which but for those of you who suffer from an exceptionally intense case of IDIOCY I’ll specify. Roberts Good. Kovalchuk Not As Good. Roberts is a complete hockey player through and through. He hits, passes, scores, makes good plays along the boards, goes in to the corners and will stand up for his team mates if he has to. Now let me make this very, very clear for all of you. Kovalchuk is GARBAGE! Yup, pure Russian trash. (before I move on I’ll say I don’t believe all Russians are trash, I simply used Russian as an adjective, there’s Canadian trash out there too! believe me, saw most of it last night at ACC)

The guy’s a goddamn hot dog. At the World Junior’s two years ago his Russian team was up 8-0 on a young French time who was just there for experience. Kovalchuk scores a goal to make it 9-0 and dances and celebrates tauntingly like he has just scored the Stanley Cup winning goal. A few nights ago he scored on an empty net to insure a win for his team and instead of having some dignity and respect for the other team, he drops to one knee and slides along the ice pumping his fst. What the HELL is that? It’s an empty net you retard and the game was already over. Now you’re just trying to embarass the other team. I can’t wait until someone like Todd Bertuzzi or Rob Blake absolutely staples that guy to the boards after pulling some shit like that on their home rink. Stuff like that pisses me.

Well that’s it for now. I’ll be back later with some more Hallowe’en Countdown and we’ll see what else. Don’t forget to tune in to Steve’s radio show today!! The link’s over there on the right.

What? Oh I guess I promised “MORE!!!” up there in the title, didn’t i? Wel tough! I’m tired you greedy pricks. I need some me time.

Have A Good One

A Good Night, A Bad Night, Some Dumb Shit So Let’s All Fight

Well I just got back from the Leaf game, and what do I see? Idiocy on the boards! Had a great time at the Leaf game but having to come back to this sours me quite quickly.

But.. I don’t have much to say on it. Steve handled pretty much everything that needed to be said, and did it quite well. No need for me to repeat him or step on what he’s said. That may cause INFIGHTING!!!

I’ll say this though. Would be wise for our friend to keep in mind what I told him about the ability to block people from the message board. It’s 2 clicks away. I’ll leave at that and just say good work to my partner, Jim.

As I said, I spent tonight in T.O. at the Air Canada Center watching the Leafs and Thrashers. Was a great game despite the Leafs losing in overtime. Although, by all right the Leafs should have been out of it long before then but as usual, Uncle Eddie kept them in it. And the O.T. goal was beautiful with Savard goin’ roof-daddy on Belfour. He really didn’t have a chance.

Enough of that. I was overwhelmed of the pool of human ignorance that is downtown Toronto. Everyone feeling that they need to be the first ones to their seats. Something wrong when my 10 year old cousin gets cut off and run in to by two 40 year old steaming piles of… well you get it. And ya if either of you two are reading. You shouldn’t have been surprised that I didn’t walk around when you stopped right in front of me after hittin’ my cousin. Kinda sucks to get absolutely crushed by someone bigger than you, doesn’t it? You better be careful. The next 10 year old you cut off may just kick your ass! 10 year olds these days are total bad-asses.

Thanks to Steve’s friend for the fun Hallowe’en stuff. You’re all more than welcome to contribute with things like that. It shakes things up a bit.

Jim, prepare for BEHIND THE SCENES BATTLES! Inside jokes are mine and mine alone! And I think we need to find this source he’s using. We have a mole amongst us. We’ll find him, Jim. We’ll find him.

PeACE

The Frozen Hand Of Death

Taking a break from the unpleasantness that is the last post I thought I’d share this with you all. Got an email from a friend who I promised a bit of space to and she came through with something kind of cool considering the Halloween thing that we’ve got happening here. I’m also getting in my 1 and hopefully only inside joke. If Matt can do it, then damnit, so can I! And if he has a problem with that, he can feel free to start some behind the scenes infighting with me. So without further delay, take it away, Hailley!

**so here is one thing I wanted to pass along goes with that popcorn hand
grins.

Delicious! As it is with any Halloween punch, a frozen ‘hand’ adds just the
right spooky touch! The combined colors make a delightfully scary look!
Makes 1 gallon (32 servings).

Black Halloween Punch

1 (.13 ounce) envelope unsweetened grape soft drink mix
1 (.13 ounce) envelope unsweetened orange soft drink mix
2 cups white sugar
3 quarts cold water
1 liter ginger ale

Directions
1. To make a frozen hand, wash a disposable glove, fill with water, seal
with a rubber band and freeze until hard.

2. Stir together grape soft drink mix, orange soft drink mix, sugar and
water until solids are dissolved. Combine with chilled ginger ale just
before serving. Dip the frozen hand briefly in warm water, then peel off
the glove.

Float the prepared hand in the punch bowl for a ghastly effect.

This is a real actual recipe but the hand part sounds real cool.
Now the other lil’ ditty I wanted to post was…and remember you said you
would put up there whatever I wanted,ok? So..this is what I want to
ask…Steve, is it still a toaster? ehehehehe

Hailley

Ok, back to me again. Matt, or anybody else, let me know if that worked, I tried to put the email in red and me in the plain old regular colour that we always use, just to make things easier for the sighties and to prove that I’m just that cool.

Anyway to answer 1 question, yes, it is indeed a toaster and it will be so to it’s dying day. Even the lone person who refuses to believe this cold hard fact has cracked on a few ocasions and refered to it by it’s true name. In any case, I don’t have to deal with it anymore as it is now gone away from here and taken up residence in another, more anti-toaster household. It has been replaced by a new toaster which is proud of it’s toaster heritage.

Thanks for the cool recipe by the way. I can’t even imagine pulling that shit on my drunk friends, would freak the shit out of them for sure. Well not the ones who read this site since they’ll already know but not everybody reads this so cool idea.

More from me later.

Common Sense, People!

I hate having to clutter up the site by ragging people out about things they should already know but like I said in an earlier post, stupidity is slowly but surely overrunning the world. I saw something on one of the message boards that needs addressing so I’m going to do so here. I’m not going to single out the person who did it because well, you should know who you are and aside from that, if I were to do that then I’d be breaking the rule that I’m about to make public. It’s a rule that I should by no means have to make but hey, it all goes back to what I just said.

There are actually 2 things I need to get to here.

1. There is no infighting between Matt and I. If there is, I don’t know anything about it. One of the people posting things along those lines understands this and is taking it how it is meant to be taken, as fun. The other guy who has posted on this topic doesn’t seem to understand that, or much else for that matter. Dude, get a clue. You’re trying to use our message board to make up something that is really a non-story and doing it in the style of a 5th rate wrestling news reporter. What the hell is wrong with you? I’m not sure what “sources” you have or where you’re getting all this stuff about internal politicking, or politicing as you spelled it, but you’re acting like a blithering idiot so please stop. I’m saying this for your own good because the 400 or so people who have visited this site to date don’t need to see you outed as a retard in a public setting like this, and I’m damn sure that you don’t need that either. So please, for your own good, kindly cut the crap.

2. This should be a no-brainer, but we’ve obviously got a few no-brainers in the crowd here so it needs mentioning. I’m only bringing this up because of the same guy from point number 1. Guy, this is the second time you’ve done this and I think Matt has already mentioned this to you privately. When using the comment board and responding to people’s posts, please address that person using the name they put on their posts, not any other name that you might happen to know them by and this includes their real name. People use nicknames on the net for a reason, dipshit. It’s because they don’t want to be identified or because they only want to be identified as whatever they’re calling themselves. Please respect this and don’t use anything but what is printed. For example, if you see a post from me you would write something along the lines of, “Steve, I agree with you,” or “Steve, you’re a stupid sack of shit.” You would not write, “you know, Jim Rectumsnatch, you’re right on the money with that one.” And just for the benefit of anybody else out there who might be as stupid as our friend here, no, my name is not Jim Rectumsnatch, although that is a mighty fine name if I do say so myself.

So in conclusion, it’s not rocket science here, we can all get along. There are just a few people out there who need their place in the equation here drilled repeatedly into their heads.

Any feedback can be left in the comments area or sent directly via email to
Jim Rectumsnatch, Co-blogmaster.
You can also
ask Matt,
and I’m sure he’ll back me up on everything I’ve written.

Feel free to use the comments and email links, that’s what they’re for. Just be smart and be cool about it, please.

Cleanin Out The Old Inbox

Wow, I actually went a day without posting anything. Yesterday was the first time since the site went live that I missed one. Not that it matters though since Matt seems to have things well in hand, filling up the weekend quite nicely. Maybe it matters to those of you who don’t like Matt and just come here to read my stuff but let’s be serious here, I don’t think that happens too much, if at all. If it does, then I hope all my fans will show Matt some love in the future.

I didn’t see the last game of the World Series and I pretty much missed the Leaf game completely so I’m not going to talk about them. I am however going to give mad props to my friend Tim’s Dad’s homemade wine. Christ but did that stuff mess me up good. What I’m getting at here is that I’ve pretty much been out of the loop on news sports and other things since Saturday afternoon and I’m just now getting caught up after spending the morning cleaning my place up so it looks like people should live in it again. As much as cleaning sucks, it’s always cool to know that you’re having to clean because you had fun. That makes it a little easier to take while you’re on your knees scrubbing spilled drinks off the floor.

Why is it that whenever you decide to step away from the things that you normally do and have some fun or do something unexpected that all your friends decide that they need to get ahold of you at the same time? I swear they must have a meeting or something or that there must be psychic powers involved somewhere. I’m so behind on reading email right now it’s not even funny. Hey, I just got more. So if you’ve written me and haven’t heard back one of 2 things is happening. Either A, I don’t like you and wish you’d leave me alone or B, your reply is coming I just have to dig your message out of the pile. Speaking of the pile, if you’d like to contribute to it in an interesting way, you can do so
here.

Man, this is a really random post and something tells me that that isn’t going to be changing but don’t worry, there’s jokes in here so stick with it.

I’m glad to see that somebody else is as upset as I am about Fred Durst and his Who cover. This was posted on the comment boards, which all of you can feel free to use by the way.

“AAARGH

I didn’t know until now that Limp Bizkit had covered The Who. Is nothing sacred anymore???? It makes me retch that durst is using this song to try and prove
that he can sing. they’ve now sunken even lower in my esteem. I LOVE THE WHO”
Posted Sat 25 Oct 4:28 PM GMT by karine

Sorry to ruin your day like that, Karine. And by the way, if any of you are finished reading everything here and want something else to look at, why not try
Karine’s blog?
All I ask is that you come back here when you’re done and see if we’ve posted anything new. Odds are that either we have or we haven’t, do with that info what you will. Thanks again to all of the people who’ve been checking out the site so far, we’re doing some ok numbers here, at least I think they’re ok.

Ok, now for those jokes I promised you. People like to send me jokes, so I’m going to go through my mail and pick out some of the better ones and share them with you all.

Q: Why is it so difficult to solve a redneck murder?

A: The DNA is all the same..
———-
A man came home from work one day to find his wife sitting on the
front porch with her bags packed.

He asked her where she was going and she replied,

“I’m going to Las Vegas.”

He asked her why she was going to Vegas and she told him,

“I just found out that as a woman I can make $400 a night doing
what I give you for free.”

So the man went into the house, packed his bags and returned to
the porch.

“And just where do you think you are going?” His wife asked.

“I’m going to Vegas too!” he replied.

“Why?” she asked.

“I want to see how you are going to live on $800 a year!”
———-
It was the mailman’s last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the
first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope. At the second
house they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the
door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.
When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed
orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under
the cup’s bottom edge.

“All this was just too wonderful for words,” he said, “but what’s the dollar for?” “Well,” she said, “last night, I told my husband that today would be
your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you.” He said, “Fuck him, give him a dollar.” The lady then said,
“The breakfast was my idea.”
———-
Q: What’s the difference between a man who stutters and a homosexual?

A: One has a wreck in his dictum…
———-
Ok, last one for now. A friend of mine sent it to me and kind of asked me to post it, probably to make me look like a tool. Oh well, I’m not above making myself look like an ass so here goes. It’s funny, in that stupid sort of way and besides, it’s a costume joke, so it fits the theme.

A man turns up at a fancy costume party with a condom on his nose, to which everyone asks, “what on earth have you come as?”

The man replies, “Fuck knows!”
———-
Ok person who sent me that, I hope you’re reading this and saw that I actually did post it. And for anybody who didn’t get it, try reading it out loud, maybe that’ll help.

If you’ve got a joke of your own that you think I might like, leave it in the comments spot at the end of this post. If I see anything good that I think should be up here on the main site, that’s where it’ll go.

I’ll be back later on hopefully with something a little more focused. For now, it’s time to catch up on the mail.

Steve

Hallowe’en Countdown. Those Cool Spider Ring Things

And now another installment of our fun little Halloween Countdown from over on X-E. Today we look at those cool spider rings. What would Hallowe’en be without Spider Rings? A Crappy Hallowe’en, that’s what! Enjoy!

—Our collective fascination with those damned plastic “spider rings” is something I find difficult to explain, but for the sake of avoiding a single-sentence countdown entry, I’m going to give it a shot. I think the big point of interest with these things lies in the fact that they’re a Halloween constant — not just a staple. For as long as I can remember, and that’s pretty long, these rings have looked perfectly the same, and have always arrived at a price of five cents each. There are no surprises with spider rings: you know what you’re getting, and unless there’s a rapid shift in the universal balance, the schematics will remain the same until the day you die. In truth, they’re nothing special and they never were, but sometimes, simplicity is divine. Spider rings are simple, and they’re certainly divine. And they make your fingers look like they’re crawwwwlin’ with bugs!

Aside from their usual base of operations — party stores — I’ve seen the things countless times at Jersey shore video arcades. Amidst the 700,000-point video game systems and equally unattainable but less interesting Hummel statues, the spider rings remained a quick five-point bounty for any kid who just didn’t understand the nuances of “Pop-A-Ball” or video poker. Nevertheless, the toys are tuned for Halloween, and if you’ve went through this past month without tacking one of these beasts over your ring finger, you’re missing out on the bestest best way to capture the holiday spirit.

The rings most typically arrive in the classic Halloween colors, though much more frequently in black. The orange ones are neat and seasonal, but come on…orange spiders? Course, they’re sized more for kiddy fingers than adults, but the band is easily chewed apart to allow entry for chubbier digits. Better yet, chew off the band part entirely, and you’ve got some pretty decent fake spiders to prank your friends with. When placed on the floor, a quick glance paints them as the real thing, and if there’s anything more fun than tricking someone into thinking they’ve got a big spider crawling on ’em, I’ve never experienced it.

Though sold by the piece for a nickel, you can buy these little guys by the gross for dirt cheap — there’s little chance that you’ll find a use for 144 plastic spider rings, but trying to sounds like it’d be a fun project. “#37: Eyebrow scratcher… #123: Something to throw at TV during unwanted reruns of Frasier…” They’re not the grandest of the gamut of Halloween toys, but they’re one of the classics.

That’s right. Spider rings are a classic.

Joe Schmoe Show Update

Well, we’re only TWO DAYS AWAY from the finale of the Joe Schmoe Show. So, yesterday Spike TV ran the entire Joe Schmoe Series leading up to this point in it’s entirety in a Joe Schmoe Marathon. It was 8 hours long and I AM DAMN PROUD to say that I saw 6 hours and 43 minutes of it, y’know, just to refresh my memory before the big show.

The final episode does a great job to set up the final. The evicted house mates ahve returned and have all made their votes. The 3 left in the house are The Hutch, Bryan, and Matt. (our poor Joe) The winner will be announced right off the top of the show on Tuesday with the rest of the show being devoted to Matt’s reaction to finding out he’s been had by these people in front of THE ENTIRE COUNTRY.

It’s hard to say how Matt will re-act. He’s not overly bright but he’s such a good guy. He’ll either laugh this off or go on a murderous rampage. That’s not meant to be a joke.

Something like this could really screw with someone’s head. When he looks back at all he went through and finds out it’s all been fake, he could really flip. We had how emotional he got during Earl’s eviction, his constant standing up for Kip, and his resulting battles with Hutch, the fact that he thinks he’s become such good friends with Bryan who is really just an actor. There are a lot of wild cards here that make the finale extremely unpredictable. He’s gone through a lot during his time in the house and it was all fake. How would you take it? I’d probably be on the murderous rampage side of things. However, I have a feeling Matt’s gonna laugh this off… eventually. I think it’s gonna take a long time for it to sink in that EVERYTHING was fake. Not just the people, but all the contests, all the food, all the evictions, EVERYTHING.

Or…. Have WE been had? Is Matt an actor too? It’s the consipiracy theory in me. But hey, it’s possible.

I know I’ll be watching. Something like this doesn’t come around everyday, and I for one won’t be missing it.

I’m Out.