It’s your old pal Steve here with a public service announcement.
You know that song “Pour Some Sugar on Me”? It still plays everywhere, so you probably do. It’s this one, just in case.
Anyway, based on a realization I had today, I feel like this is a good time to point out that to the best of my knowledge, none of the members of Def Leppard could see the future, nor did they possess a time machine. So no matter how much it sounds like that line near the start is saying “livin’ like a lover with a red iPhone”, (it most definitely sounds like that), that’s not what it’s saying. The song was released in 1988, nearly 20 years before the first iPhones were unveiled. So what you’re actually hearing is “Livin’ like a lover with a radar phone”, which makes a lot less sense than the red iPhone thing, honestly.
“Nope. We’re way smarter than that! No way in hell we’re getting caught.”
They got caught. the problem? Somebody forgot to write “definitely not a stolen car” on their ride.
Reynolds, cops say, was carrying a loaded .357 handgun in his pocket, a bag of methamphetamine, and $1360 in cash. Baggenstos had “three white pills she said were oxy…as well as a meth pipe.”
A 1:15 AM vehicle search yielded more meth, two scales, drug paraphernalia, and “baggies commonly used for selling.” And, investigators noted, “a brown bag that said on it, ‘Definitely not a bag full of drugs.’”
Inside the “Definitely” bag cops found “multiple packages” of what an officer “recognized to be methamphetamine” (and which later tested positive for the drug). In total, police seized about half-a-pound of meth.
Ontario Premier Doug Ford plans to call a snap election Wednesday, using the threat of 25 per cent tariffs from U.S. President Donald Trump to justify his early call.
That election call would send Ontarians to the polls on Feb. 27, more than a year before the June 2026 fixed election date.
“With a strong mandate, we will be able to fight with Donald Trump to make sure we stop the tariffs,” he said Friday at a press conference.
Ford, who already has a large majority government, suggested he is not satisfied with the 79 out of 124 seats his Progressive Conservatives currently hold.
“We need the largest mandate in Ontario’s history,” he said.
“When you have a strong mandate in politics, and you have a strong mandate from the people for the next four years to last over the four years of the Trump administration, I can tell you, the opposition treats you with a little more respect, as opposed to being vulnerable. Always people think, ‘OK, they’re going into an election.’”
This is, of course, absolute nonsense. Mandates don’t get any stronger than a majority government, and if your own party hasn’t turned against your awful policies and borderline criminal behaviour in great enough numbers to bring it down by now, chances are they’re not going to do it when everyone including the opposition actually agrees that Trump is one of the province’s biggest issues and that all parties need to unite to face it down. Trump will still be president next year when we’re supposed to go to the polls, and if you’re doing a good enough job in the eyes of enough people then, you’ll get your new mandate.
This is yet more selfishness from Ford. A blatantly transparent power grab that sadly I’m pretty sure he’s going to get away with. Every poll I’ve seen has him ahead, and though I never have and never will understand the reasons for that, there’s nothing that’s making me doubt them.
But boy oh boy, would I ever love to see him have to eat shit over this. It would be great if he lost and I’ll certainly do what little I can to make that happen, but I think it would almost be more hilarious if his nice, comfortable majority became a slim, precarious minority. If he loses outright he could just leave in disgrace. A minority, that he would have to wear every day and you know it would drive him nuts. Watching him suffer through every public moment would be kind of fantastic, I think. Especially for everyone his government has made suffer through its mismanagement, cruelty and neglect.
Watching this video of Bottleneck John playing the blues to the rhythm of an old water pump made me think of the White Trash Washing Machine, the only difference being that this one doesn’t seem to be done quite as much for laughs.
The waterpump blues duo – Live by the lakeside!!
Water splashing and rhythm swinging – I dig it, folks. This pump is simply awesome, so I HAD to go back and jam some more with it! Here’s another clip featuring my National Duolian and this old, very old invention called a hydraulic ram pump!! It’s just freakin’ cool how steady and laidback it can provide this groovy beat!!!!! The lyrics are from Son House’s song: Preaching the blues.
Filmed at Arvemuséet, Sweden by Christer Ljungeaus.
Look, I get it. You thought what you posted was innocuous. Still, did you stop to think about everyone who has ever lived and how it could make them feel?
I know, I know—all you did was share your chili recipe, but did you consider the people who don’t like chili? The people who are vegetarians? The people without tastebuds? The people who don’t know how to turn on stoves? What about all those folks?
Not only did you share a thoughtless, cruel recipe, but you also had the audacity to call it the “best chili recipe in the world.” Really? Have you tried every chili recipe? How do you think this makes the creators of other recipes feel? How would you feel if someone said your chili wasn’t the best they’d ever had?
Oh, you’d be fine with that? People are entitled to their opinions? Well, that makes me feel pretty disregarded.
You would think, considering how many other countries they’ve helped to destabilize over the years, that America would be aware that rather than allow the leader of a violent coup back into power as though nothing had happened, that the option to prosecute it to the fullest extent of the law is one that is available to them. And yet…THIS THREAT TO DEMOCRACY MUST BE CERTIFIED
If I didn’t know this was a satirical item from McSweeney’s, you could probably convince me it came straight from Democrat HQ. It would be so great if just once these people took literally any action to prevent the threats they talk on and on about and not just roll over when things get serious because someone on the other side of the aisle who will go out of his way to stonewall them at every turn might get a sad. Of course there’s room for morality and civility in politics, but there’s a time for that and a time for acting as though you possess even the slightest hint of a spine. Making tough decisions in the interest of your country is hard, but it’s also literally your fucking job.
For years, we Democrats have been reminding you that Donald Trump is a danger to democracy and a scourge on our nation. His election back into our highest office is a terrifying, perhaps fatal turning point in American history. He will bring about a backslide from which we may never recover. But what is most important right now is civility. Propriety. Politeness. Today, we’re taking the high road—the one that leads directly off a cliff. This dire threat to democracy must be certified.
Four years ago, this man incited an insurrection. He attempted to thwart the democratic process, to overturn an election. We must never forget what happened that day, no matter how many ways he bends its truth. We must tell of its violence in our history books and teach of its blight to our children so it may never be repeated. Except today, when we need to come together and agree on one thing: That guy should be in charge.
If you’re watching these ads right now and thinking to yourself what in the heck is this? I’ve never heard of the Cable Music Channel, don’t feel bad. Until now I hadn’t heard of it either, and not just because I was 4 years old when it launched on October 26th, 1984. I’m pretty sure the main reason I hadn’t heard of it is because I was also 4 years old when it shut down a mere 36 days later.
If you’re wondering what sort of doofus could have mismanaged such a winning concept as music videos on TV in the 1980s so badly, the answer is Ted Turner. Yes, that Ted Turner. the Ted Turner who created stations like CNN, TBS and TNT that changed the face of television and are still around to this day.
How’d he do it?
For starters, he could have injected a little excitement into launch day by doing radical things like having any excitement at all. I mean good lord, just look at this thing!
It’s MTV, but for lame ass old cranks! Come now, children. Let us both rock and roll in simultaneous fashion!
The official launch perhaps hinted that the writing was always on the wall. Whereas MTV had lifted off in 1981 with a hip and happening blend of space shuttle footage, colorful graffiti-style graphics, and an original garage rock theme, CMC kickstarted with bone-dry press conference speeches (including one from the distinctly un-rock and roll 13th District Councilwoman Peggy Stevenson) and a rendition of “The Star-Spangled Banner.”
In fact, the only remarkable aspect of the whole shebang was Turner’s continued vendetta against his new rival. He talked of wanting to “influence music in a positive, loving, and kind way,” then called out MTV’s apparent fondness for “degrading clips” before declaring “Take that MTV!” and pressing the giant red button that launched CMC.
Things didn’t get much more exciting when attention switched to the actual programming. While The Buggles’ “Video Killed the Radio Star” instantly proved MTV had a sense of humor, CMC’s first play was Randy Newman’s rather earnest hometown love letter, “I Love LA.” And instead of on-camera hosts injecting the channel with some personality, its VJs Raechel Donahue and Jeff Gonzer were only ever heard and not seen.
Some of the channel’s problems were out of his control, because you can’t create dial space where there is none. Cable back then was a lot different than it is now, remember. Space was much more limited, and with plenty of systems already running a full slate, it was hard for CMC to find distribution. Even the operators that could have accommodated it weren’t super keen, because they already had MTV and weren’t sure about the viability of a direct competitor. Oh, and some of them didn’t really want to help Turner out when they didn’t have to, choosing instead to stick it to a guy who didn’t always have the best reputation when it came to doing business. I suppose that second one could have been well within his control, but whatever.
Then there was MTV doing some monopolistic shit to protect its position, which was easy for it to do considering its subscriber numbers. MTV was in 24 million homes as opposed to CMCs 350,000.
Turner got a taste of his own medicine when MTV allegedly started playing dirty. The network quickly put a stranglehold on the Hot 100, signing exclusivity deals with several major labels that kept videos from a number of popular artists from being played elsewhere for up to 12 months. While that didn’t particularly affect The Nashville Network and BET—two existing stations that catered to country music and hip hop audiences—it proved to be a major stumbling block for those trying to muscle in on MTV’s mainstream rock and pop territory.
Stumbling block is one way to put it, sure. Perhaps death blow might be more appropriate.
“We simply have not had enough support from the cable industry for it to become a viable part of our business,” he explained in a statement about its unprecedentedly quick fall from grace. On November 30, the network said its final farewell, bringing things full circle by playing the same Newman song it had opened with.
Turner sold the assets of his dead station to MTV for $1 million. MTV, in turn, eventually used them to launch VH1, which has worked out just a little bit better than CMC did.
So I guess old Ted still made some history after all, even if it wasn’t how he drew it up.
My god, his stuff is still out there! I know I wasn’t on a cruise, but when the post mentioned Norwalk, I had to go check if the Carl Winter stuff was still around.
My friend who knows about dear ol’ Vincent the Christmas Virus hitting Steve and I sent this lovely post to my Facebook. Not only did I laugh my head off, but I was relieved to know I wasn’t the only one completely knocked flat by this bug. When you’ve utterly defiled your mom’s bathroom and need to be led to bed like a baby, it’s nice to know that it’s not because you’re a pathetic human being.
Let’s talk about norovirus. It’s on the news, and it’s coming to a public toilet near you soon. Contrary to what everyone’s Uncle Chet says, this isn’t a deep state plot to bolster Pedialyte sales.
Lately, any warnings about freshly circulating viruses tend to provoke overly confident responses from Definitely Very Smart People™ that this one must be a “scam.” I’d understand some hesitancy to declare the sky is falling if this was some heretofore never encountered microbe. But norovirus? It’s an old familiar brand of fuck-you-up.
Also referred to as the Norwalk virus (or winter vomiting disease if you want to get fancy), it’s what you’re thinking of when you think of a stomach flu. The main symptom is- technical term- having it shoot out both ends. This is sometimes accompanied by gastric pain, weakness, lethargy, headache, a low fever, and begging for the sweet release of death from whatever god you must have displeased.
It’s been called “the perfect human pathogen,” and evolutionarily that might just be true. There are seven genogroups with countless strains in each group. An infection gives you immunity to that one strain for a mere six months. It doesn’t confer any reliable degree of immunity to the rest of the nauseating family tree. It’s final-boss level hard to kill, lives on surfaces for weeks, can be passed via food or utensils, and is easily transmissible even without direct contact between infected people.
“But Ms. Auntie SciBabe, surely we can limit the spread if people just stay home while they’re symptomatic.” I thought so too, but I had a quick poke around the internet for what four out of five dentists said. After a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it incubation period (12-48 hours), the virus is transmissible when symptoms hit. The real fucker though? People remain contagious for at least 2-3 days after their symptoms clear. Sometimes they can pass it for up to another two weeks.
A few chucklefucks on twitter posted that newspapers in the UK are ordering everyone to stay home for 48 hours, which fucking of course no they’re not. There is no widespread lockdown order. They’ve recommended that people who’ve been sick stay home for at least 48 hours after their symptoms have ended. Given the extended contagious period (and that you’re you won’t want to goddamn move after your innards have kicked the shit out of you)? Two days on the couch sounds just dandy.
Out of an estimated 20 million cases annually in the US, some people are hit with a particularly unpleasant case. Per the CDC’s website, in a typical year there are 465,000 hospital visits and 109,000 hospitalizations, mostly for dehydration related issues. Estimates vary but there are 400-900 fatalities from norovirus every year, typically in vulnerable populations. That said, most of those 20 million cases recover in a few days with the help of time, electrolyte replacement fluids, and cushy toilet paper (remember, both ends).
A virus doesn’t have to land you in the hospital to be a miserable time. I had norovirus once, and once was plenty. It’s the only time in my life I pulled over to the side of the road to throw up, and I slept on my bathroom floor. I lived across the street from the store and I did not have the physical strength to go get electrolyte replacement fluid. F- do not recommend.
Preventing every case is an impossibility. But there is this one neat trick to reduce your contribution to the viral plume, and your chances of praying to a porcelain throne.
Wash your filthy goddamn paws.
A good vigorous scrubbing with plain old soap is exactly what will take this virus right off your hands, hopefully before you touch your mouth without realizing it. Though hand sanitizer is useful for a lot of other nasty business, norovirus’ structure allows it to be all but impervious to your tiny bottles of Purell. So if you’re trying to avoid this entirely and you know there’s an outbreak in your area, it can’t hurt to mask up while you’re out (mostly to keep your hands away from your mouth). The best thing you can do is scrub your hands, early and often.
And just in case, maybe grab some Gatorade or Pedialyte while you’re out. Uncle Chet will thank you when he needs it.
And yup, that incubation period just about fits. That also reinforces our decision not to have the rest of our Christmas parties…even if we could have made it there. Nobody else needs to meet this particular bug.