This next story belongs in the roll up the rim to whine files. I have only one question for these two families. What moment is left for your sons to enjoy after you’ve sued each other’s asses off over a David Beckham jersey? Really, what lesson is to be learned? And who wants the jersey more? And are the grown-ups children too? Hmm. that turned into a few questions. Oh well.
>And This Doesn’t Disturb You?
>Ya know, the appropriate response when your eight-year-old grandson slugs his teacher is not “He loves to hit.” You won’t love the fact that he’s facing felony battery charges. And you won’t love it if he ever loves to hit you, granny. Eight-year-olds only get bigger, and when he’s already 70 pounds, things aren’t lookin’ good.
That’s Never Good
25 Apr, Fri, 13:31:34
Google:
what’s wrong with your dog if he’s shaking and he’s jumping and
and what? Or did he cease to shake and jump? Or did he jump on your enter key, causing the search term to go through? I hope that you’ve found the cause of his shaking and jumping and….and it wasn’t a sign of something dire.
Come Here Dumb Human. Quiet! Good Quiet.
Whenever I think about this, it makes me mad, not in the oh the world sucks kind of way, but in the holy shit some people can be irritating as hell kind of way. Hopefully when I write it down, it will make sense why it makes me mad.
This happened yesterday at around noon. I took Trixie out for her usual business routine. She peed, and just as she was finishing peeing, a lady came out to have a smoke. After Trixie was done peeing, she started sniffing around. This is normal, because if she had to poop, the sniffing helps get things in motion. From across the parking lot, the lady yelled, “Oh she’s just nosing around. She’s not doing anything. Oh come on Trixie, let’s go.”
Pardon? First of all, if you want to have a normal conversation with your average human being, you don’t get out a megaphone. You come closer, so you can talk at a reasonable level. Second of all, when did she think it was her place to call and command my dog? Would it be normal to even do that with a pet dog from half way across a parking lot? No. If the dog took an interest in coming to you, you’d turn their owner into a goddamn projectile. I will decide when it’s time for my dog to go, thank you very much.
then, of course when Trixie didn’t move, she was shocked and appalled! “Don’t you want to come inside?” she bellowed. I told her I would come in a second. Just then, she looked and noticed I was putting on the harness. “oh yeah, that,” she said. Yeah, that. She didn’t have that on before. That comes off when she takes a pee. That goes back on before I start moving. The reason she has that is because she is a working fucking dog.
Arg. I know this is just one lady, and she’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but good lordy lou. It makes me think of the countless times people try to call my dog and make kissy noises at her and expect she’ll just listen to them. It’s especially bad when I’m trying to get her to follow them. People stop talking to me and start talking to the dog as if I’m just along for the ride. NO. Talk to me. Dont’ call my dog, don’t command her. Talk to *me*! People are usually pretty good about stopping that when I say I don’t want her to start responding to random people who call out to her. that would be disastrous! Everywhere I go, I hear kids going “puppy puppy puppy!” If she started responding to that, I’d be doomed!
So, if you ever get the urge to yell “come here!” at a guide dog, just don’t, ok? Offer the person help if you want, talk to the person. But don’t call the dog. Please please pretty please. Is that too much to ask?
A New Target For Shoplifters
What’s with this trend? We had HomeDepot employees not allowed to chase down shoplifters. Now, Target has a policy that says security guards can’t stop shoplifters unless they’re one of the ones designated to do so, and if you’re not, even if you’re trying to stop a teen from stealing booze, you will be fired, like Dean Babcock did.
The weirdest part was he didn’t even wrestle her or chase her or anything. He just walked up to her, asked her if she had some booze, she said she did, he told her it was a crime, took down her information and called her dad. He even let her go. But he got the job done because now her dad knew about it, and was thankful that it was brought to his attention. But because Babcock wasn’t one of the catch the shoplifters squad, none of whom were on duty by the way, he was chewed out and fired.
Ok then. He’s a security guard. When did stopping shoplifting get removed from the job description of security guards? And what would they do if another patron caught a shoplifter and chased him down? Would they ban the guy who chased the shoplifter from shopping at the store? Most importantly, when did following some code become more important than doing the right thing?
Is The Dictionary Sexually Explicit Because It Contains The Word Sex?
If you’re thinking about opening a bookstore, or anything that sells anything bookish in Indiana, you’d better take a long, hard look at your content, because as of July, a new law states that if you’re going to sell anything that even remotely is in the ballpark of sexually explicit, you have to pay a fee and be registered among all the porn shops and sex toy stores. What a mess. The law is so broad that a book on the subject of sex education, or a novel that mentions sex is deemed explicit and potentialy harmful to minors. What makes it worse is the reason the law was supported so overwhelmingly was senators were too afraid to vote against something that’s supposed to protect kids. What about standing up and stopping a stupid law from passing because it’s stupid? No, that’s too hard.
So now, a law is about to be on the books that is absolutely useless in fighting against what it intends to fight, but a whole bunch of bookstores are going to get hurt. Way to go, guys.
To Read Post, Go To Blog
It’s funny how a few words can speak volumes about the state of our world and how much stupidity is in it. Just recently, we finally got Bell to fix some pretty expensive errors they’d made in our bill. In an attempt to make up for the errors, they offered us a whole pile of services for cheap. This sounded like a pretty good idea, so we took them up on it.
This morning, we got a call from Emily, their cute little automated phone assistant with the super perky voice. You know how I feel about Emily, but this time, she was pretty cool. She, er, it, told me that all my services were enabled, and if I wanted help on any of them, I just had to press the right button and it would be there. I decided to learn a thing or two about our new bells and whistles, and hit the button for call forwarding. The voice told me that if I wanted to forward calls to a number, I should lift the receiver, listen for a dial-tone and then dial *72, listen for some beeps and dial the number where I wanted my calls to go. Then I noticed that each time there were instructions on how to activate, deactivate or change a service, Emily helpfully informed me that I should lift the receiver, listen for a dial-tone and dial whatever I should dial.
I thought it was weird that they felt the need to tell us that before we could activate something, we should actually pick up the phone. Then I thought that wasn’t the part that was truly weird, because some phones are all fancy and have buttons on them to control services. The part that seemed completely stupid was the part where they had to tell us that we should listen for a dial-tone before mashing buttons. Uh, yeah. That would be good. I wonder how many calls they get that go like this:
Customer: I can’t change the number of rings my phone does before taking a call to that answering machine thing I have.
Rep: You have to pick up the phone and dial *94 and then specify the number of rings.
Customer: Yeah I know, but when I do that, nothing happens.
Rep: Did you hear a dial-tone?
Customer: There has to be a dial-tone?
Rep: Yes.
Customer: I didn’t pay attention.
Ug. Wow. But then again, I’ve seen a friend’s parents pick up the phone when my friend is on it and just start pounding away on the buttons trying to call somewhere. Then he has to yell at them before they realize that their line isn’t dead, and someone’s actually talking on it. Maybe that’s who this is for. But I thought his parents were in the minority! I guess not.
Did We Win?
Three synchronized swimmers made news this week by taking the synchronized part a little too far. The swimmers, who were training themselves to hold their breath for long periods of time,
passed out and went under simultaneously.
Unfortunately they weren’t triplets [which would have made this even more amusing] but still, I guess it’s true what they say, practice makes perfect.
She’s Pretty Mean With A Screwdriver
Hmmm. You would think it would take less than an hour and a half for the guy breaking into the house of a 95-year-old woman who was confined to a wheelchairto realize that she could reach out and stab him through that window, so maybe he should choose another way in. But he didn’t, and after receiving several jabs with a screwdriver, he passed out, and she called 911. She did a pretty good job on him, one of his knuckles is almost gone! He’s not going to want to accurately describe how he got his wounds to anyone. And her family says she’s doing just fine. Perfect!
Nice Ass, Can I Look At It?
There’s been an update to the
strange story of Brian Persaud,
the New York construction worker who went to the hospital after a knock on the head and wound up in court after a forced rectal exam. The verdict has come in, and
the hospital has been cleared of any wrongdoing.
There are still a few things I don’t understand here though.
1. If the injury he was admitted for was a cut over the eye, why did they want to look at his ass so badly?
2. If they were concerned about spinal injuries as suggested both in the comments on the original post and the updated news article linked above, why would they sedate him and lose out on any useful feedback he could have provided, not to mention handcuff him, an act that could cause further damage?
3. If he’s that much of a handful, isn’t it logical to assume that maybe the spine is ok? I understand there could be concerns about shock, but somebody in shock isn’t normally described as “alert times 3,” and somebody with potential spinal problems shouldn’t be able to fight off more than one person…should he?
Somebody who knows more than I do about things like this can feel free to set me straight if I’m wrong, but something in this case, I’m not sure what exactly, just isn’t adding up.