Dream Whip

I had two really weird dreams last night. They’re not disturbing, they’re just…weird and I thought somebody would get a chuckle out of them.

My first one was just too bizarre. It was like I was living in an evil parallel universe. I was talking to Steve in my dream about everyday things. I was talking about how I wanted to learn doggy first-aid, and how I really hoped it came together with this one lady who is going to call me soon in real life. I was talking about booking the party room. Then Steve pipes up with “Oh yeah, Carin, there’s a big sign up outside the party room that says no dogs are allowed. I don’t think you could book the party room.”

I respond with “Why not? Trixie is a service dog, and it’s the law, and this is in my building. They’ve been fine with her up to now.”

Steve, in completely non-Steve fashion, says “Oh I don’t think they care about service dogs or the law. They won’t have any dogs!”

Of course, I’m stubborn. I said “then I’ll talk to them about what issue they’re having. If it’s a dog hair issue, I’ll bring a big blanket and Trixie can lay on that.” Steve immediately gets all stammery and stuttery, saying “Oh, I don’t think we have any extra blankets. What blanket would you use?” I laugh at him and tell him I’ll use the old Babs blanket. Hell, I’ll bring one of her beds down if I have to.

Then Steve just sits down and says “Well, good luck with that. Our super doesn’t speak good enough English to understand.”

What the? That is so not Steve. He’d be right behind me, telling me to try and talk to our super, but if that doesn’t work, to call the rental agent or the head office. Why would I dream that he was dead set against me doing this course or booking the party room?

The other dream was simply demented. I was sitting in this room that looked sort of like a kitchen and sort of like the meeting rooms at the place in Kitchener where I did some work. It had a fridge full of drinks and snacks, and everyone around me had laptops. I have no idea what I was doing there, but there I was, without any laptop or anything to work with. I was just sitting there looking like a dope.

Everyone around me was from GDB, even though I don’t know a single one of them. They were either from the Alumni Association or they were instructors, and they were all busily typing and planning, talking about how much travelling they had to do for either follow-up visits to clients or alumni association engagements. The whole time, I kept meaning to ask if there was a schedule set up to know when the stuff would start happening at the GDB alumni reunion that I’m going to in September in Portland, but I was too intimidated to ask.

All I know is we kept having pop and milk and eating stuff, and then we started eating a dessert. Just then, mom appeared out of nowhere asking for the recipe and said we needed to go home and eat this dessert with Grandma because she’s lonely and she would like this.

What is that? Is that a conglomaration of everything I’m thinking about? GDB stuff, grandma who’s been struggling with health issues for a while, and doggy first-aid, and…drinks and food? Where does that fit in? Why were we eating so much dessert? And what’s with the creation of an anti-Steve?

I was just thinking the other day about how I haven’t had a bloggable dream in a while. Well, I guess I’ve had a couple now, all in one night!

I Smell Paranoia

Wow, we’re really getting paranoid. Because a kid drew on his shirt and then sniffed where he’d just drawn, the school principal assumed he was huffing marker fumes and suspended him. He didn’t even explain to the kid why he was worried, and the kid was left quite confused.

That principal must have come from a tough school to assume the kid was getting high. I mean, I know kids are getting weirder and doing things at younger ages, but that’s wacked. And since when would a suspension stop a kid who was really doing drugs from doing them? that just leaves them with more time to get into more trouble.

I Wonder If The Resulting Yelling Will Last For A Few Episodes Of Sesame Street

Nothing really amusing or horribly weird about this story, guy leaves kids in car while going into Wal-Mart. But what I do find really cute was the kids’ attempt to tell time. They were left in the car for the length of a Barney and Friends episode, but not as long as an episode of Sesame Street. Ah, kids who can’t tell time yet.

Oh My, We’re Doomed!

Yikes! Our world is going to hell when 9 third-graders plot to kill a teacher and mean business! The teacher told one of them not to stand on a chair, so she and some others started bringing a broken steak knife, handcuffs, duct tape, electrical and transparent tape, ribbons and a crystal paperweight to school so they could use them on the teacher. Uh, these kids need help real quick.

>We Are Gathered Here today To…Get This Creep Out Of Our Midst!

>Here’s a memorial service you’ll never forget. What the hell was up with this guy walking into an apartment where the mother of the deceased was holding a gathering to celebrate her daughter’s life, grabbing the deceased’s sister’s breast and then showing the mom nasty porn? There’s 0 explanation for why he would do that. Weirdo!

Putting The Ass In Gold Class

We established long ago that
movies and the theatre experience are for shit,
but that’s not stopping a group of investors from pouring $200 million into something called
Village Roadshow Gold Class Cinemas.

What exactly is a Village Roadshow Gold Class Cinema, you ask. Well for starters, it’s a place where a movie ticket will cost you $35. Yes, $35. My goodness you say. What grand luxuries am I afforded for this king’s ransom? Well, my good friend, I’m glad you asked, but I must warn you that upon finding the answer, you might just find yourself with shit in your pants.

Each complex will sport theaters featuring 40 reclining armchair seats with footrests, digital projection and the capability to screen 2-D and 3-D movies, as well as a lounge and bar serving cocktails and appetizers, a concierge service and valet parking.

But the circuit will especially push its culinary offerings — made-to-order meals like sushi and other theater-friendly foods from on-site chefs (a service button at each seat calls a waiter). Moviegoers will have to pay extra for any food they order, however.

Indeed, you again read that correctly. For your $35, you get to watch the same dreck as the common folk who paid $10, only you get to do so from the comfort of a nicer chair. You also receive the added benefit of having to tip a valet and a concierge, as well as the perks that come with ordering fancy snacks and drinks at what is sure to be a stunningly absurd mark-up. Oh to live the life of privilege.

So to answer your first question, a Village Roadshow Gold Class Cinema is what is sometimes known as a lesson in scale. You can pay $30 for a film and some snakcs, or you can pay $82,419 to watch that same film with others who have little respect for their money. But in the end, no matter which option you choose you’re stuck watching modern cinematic efforts, so it’s a no win at any price.

You Do, I Do, Everyone Everywhere Loves, The Spring

Did anyone else have to sing that little ditty for the music festival? Did anyone else wonder what a hey ding-a-ding was? Apologies for butchering the spelling, I can’t find the lyrics anywhere! I can’t remember if it had some kind of weird title, but typing in the few bits I remember from when I sang it at the music festival 17 years ago…jesus murphy! I have to let that sit for a minute. Ok. Anyway, typing in the words I remember into google returns diddly squat in the search results. But that wasn’t even the point of this post. The point is I love spring, and hope to Christ it’s here to stay!

Trixie and I just walked for a couple miles, and god did it feel good. The sidewalks were clear, except for the one right outside our apartment building, but it’s getting better. Trixie is such a little princess, she does not want to step in the big puddles. What a goofy pooch. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the sidewalks were clear, oh it was awesome! You should have seen Trixie. She is so unbelievably cute. When she realized we were going for a real walk, she was so happy. She picked up the pace and just loved every minute of it. The first few times we were out and it was nice, she was distracted by everything. But she seems to have come back to her senses, and stays focused while she enjoys the beautiful weather. she’s also learned that we don’t have to cross the street as if we’re avoiding a snowbank on the other side because it exists no more, so we can go where we usually go. Man she’s an easy dog to work with. She’s such an amazingly fast learner. She even remembered where the cash registers were at this grocery store that we don’t go to a lot. Gotta love my Trixie doodles.

In the winter, an evil part of my mind said I won’t get out as much when the weather warms up because the novelty will have worn off and I’ll get lazy. That evil part couldn’t be more wrong. I’m already planning another big walk tomorrow. We’re gonna walk all the way downtown. That’s a mile and a half one way! God I love the spring! Bring on the awesome weather! I wanna soak up the sun and lose some weight! Who needs a gym when you’ve got a canine?