Vomit Comet

Well I’m tired today…started off tired.

My dog has strange habits. Did I tell you she likes to lick my jeans? She also likes to try and sniff my crotch, especially while I’m getting dressed. Really, not necessary there Babs. A little too personal for me thanks.

This morning it seemed Babs needed a little more love and attention than usual. She’s a funny girl. When I took my morning pills, I took her to her bed and told her to stay and she did.

Oh another cool thing she did this morning was I forgot to grab my food whistle when I was coming to feed her. But she sat and waited while I went to get the whistle. Yes! She’s not testing me that way
anymore. She’s still playing the leash game, but we’ll get over that one.

We’re going out early for a group walk. Heehee wow! Mom and dad said they’d take student Tim with us for lunch if he wanted to come. I have to get instructions from instructor Tim about how to get here from Renfrew.

Another funny thing Margery says is warsh instead of wash. It kills me whenever I hear her say it. Warsh. Hahaha. Well I should probably get my hair into something a little more presentable. Rat’s nest just doesn’t appeal.

That was cool, for the most part. Even got a comment from a passer-by that she’s the cutest guide dog he’s ever seen. The only booboo, major one anyway, was this one street crossing which was a fine example of my screwuppitude. I was pulling my dog out into the street! I thought she was being a real sniffer, so I was like straight. She wouldn’t have any of it…dragged me back onto the sidewalk.

On the way down, she was sweet awesome cool. Focused as focused could be, sat at the curbs, was a doll.

I have to stop here, and talk about the sitting at curbs thing. Why why why why why why did they make handlers tell the dogs to sit at the curb? If we didn’t know the curb was there, how are we supposed to issue a command for it? Dumb. Dumb dumb! This applies to steps down as well. Triple dumb!

Then we did a back turn and she thought she’d just diddle around. Sniff sniff try and lead me up driveways, refused to sit at curbs, went past one curb, sniffed the other dogs’ butts cause we were all out together, and then because of all that, when it felt like she was going more left than straight, I was pulling her right. Dumb dumb. But she was stronger than me and got me up onto the sidewalk. Then I heard Tim, “Give your dog lots of praise cause she was right.”

Next time, she did try to pull way too far to the left. But I was a lot less hard on her and just sorta waved my hand and said straight. We got to the other side. Wow. That was damn cool.

Poor Margery though, she could only go the first 8 blocks and then she had to sit on the bus bench
and wait for us to come get her. Instructor Tim is a smart man. he put her at the back. We all got up to the corner and then we waited for her.

There was one street where my legs hurt like a son of a bitch. I wonder if my feet have changed shape or something because my orthotics seem to be bugging me. Damn it I don’t wanna have to make an appointment with the foot people. They’re a pain.

Right now Margery’s out free running her dog. Then we eat lunch and then I think we free run our dogs and then at 2 student Tim gets to talk to Willow’s walkers, and then we go on a walk I think and then Sharon calls Charity’s puppy walkers…and then we have supper.

We also weighed the dogs. He didn’t tell me the weights. I wanna know I wanna know. They say when they first get home they lose weight cause of all the stress. Good to know.

But my poor Babs only gained weight. I think it was because of all her tumours.

After I took her out to poop, and according to Tim she pooped and peed, yippee, I brought her back here and gave her some water. Oh she was happy to see water. Such a thirsty girl.

Oh we stopped at Timmy Ho’s and I got a small French Vanilla capachino. Student Tim bought the coffees. I was like aww you’re so sweet. I owe Sharon some money from the cheesecake..and the groceries…and the anka gift. Did I mention that we got the Anka gift pretty much bagged? We decided to get the mug and coffee and then get the chocolate as well. So got the mug and the coffee last night.

Wow Babs is flopped out. She was so vocal this morning. It was so cute. Well that’s about it for now. I got directions on how to get to this place from Renfrew so I better email those off before I forget.

Anka continues to crack us up. Sharon said something about going to cry in her room. Anka said, “that’s alright, in my country, if someone cry, we say, that’s alright, means less to pee.”

This afternoon was interesting. After lunch, instructor Tim’s wife and son showed up and ate lunch with us. His son is cute. Maybe 6 or so. Babs loved him. She ran over to him and tried to say hi. I felt bad having to hold her back.

Listen, past newby self, don’t feel bad. That was your problem. You felt bad about controlling her. She shouldn’t have reared up on her hind legs to kiss the little guy, whether she knew him or not. Not cool, not cool!

Eventually I did get her to settle. After lunch, he told Margery how her puppy walking tea would work. You come in with your dog, and then Sue takes the leash and gives it to the puppy walkers and lets the dog be silly for a while. After a while, they hand the leash back to you and you talk about stuff and there ya go. I guess we all get puppy walker thank you cake. Mmm…puppy walker thank you cake. I would have loved to see Babs’s reaction to seeing her puppy walker.

Apparently, according to the scales, she’s 49 pounds. Didn’t I say before she was 52? He says that’s some kind of scale messuppitude so we have to re-weigh on Monday. He says they lose a pound, but not 3 or 4, and all the dogs seem to have lost 3-5 pounds.

Then after lunch I tweaked the directions for mom and dad. Before I did that, the dog played a new leash game. I gave her her bone, and she had nothing to do with it until I picked up the leash. Then the bone was a great toy. Then I took the bone away. No more of that crap.

After lunch and the email, I took her out for a poop. We waited for student Tim to finish up his call, and then we all took off, except for Margery because she had her puppy walkers coming. Off we went for a walk in the rain. Yick. Wore my rain coat, should have worn my rain pants, but didn’t.

We walked down and crossed three streets, then turned and walked and crossed three more, then turned, crossed two more, then turned and got to the next down-curb and turned and said “find the bus,” and she did.

Some minor screwuppitude on my part, made her sit at what I thought was a curb and it was a driveway. Woops. Was nervous on a crossing, but it went ok, she sniffed to beat the band, but what can ya expect after the rain?

Actually, from Babs, you can expect complete and utter loopitude, including but not limited to: extra sniffing, not walking in a straight line, not getting back up on the sidewalk, and other horrors. You would learn this when you got home.

Jesus murphy my legs hurt like sons of bitches. Holy man alive. I don’t know what’s happening. I need these suckers looked at cause this is nutty crazy wacked out. I was dying at one block, so much so that I made her sit.

Oh man. At one point, after Instructor Tim said “jeepers,” both Sharon and I said, “twist?” Then we all started laughing. Sharon got to hear Margery say “Damn sam.” She busted up right in front of her.

Now I’m waiting to free run Babs…yick she’ll be a muddy muddy mucky mess. She already smells like wet dog. I toweled her off some, but it was hard.

This was funny. After our afternoon walk, the routine is poop, feed, poop, lounge, right? Well I thrrew her for a loop today because she’s going for a free run so you can’t feed her for like an hour after the run, and certainly not just before. So I took her for a poop, and just for good measure, I kept telling her to steady. Well, that was necessary because she was trying to rip my left arm off. But I was slowing her down, etc. I took her into the room after her poop, well I don’t think she did jack diddly because she was so bent she was going to get food. We came in here full speed, I was trying to stop her so I could take the collar off etc. She ran straight for the dish…which only had water. I’ve never seen her put the brakes on so fast. Oo she was so disappointed. I just stood there and laughed. I felt sick for laughing, but it was just so funny. I took the leash off, I think she’s so confused. Poor thing. So confused. Man that was funny. She would not even take her bone. I offered it to her, she sniffed it and threw it down. It’s llike, “are you trying to trick me? Is this food? You asshole! How dare you!?!?”

I think that’s about it. I felt a little slow on the afternoon rain walk cause at one corner, instructor Tim said, “Tim and Sharon have already made their turns. Go ahead and make yours.” I felt like Margery. I asked Sharon, was I jeepers twist slow? cause we had to wait a good long time for her, and she’s like no. Don’t know if I believe her. We’ll see what student Tim says, I think he’ll be honest.

This is the point where I look at the reflection of my past, raise my open palm, slap that face and yell “shame on you! Shame on you for being such a catty, shallow, stupid human being! What does it matter if you were Margery slow, or if she was slow for the love of Pete. She was 72. I think she had earned the right to walk that slow. Why would you sink to that level of under-handedness? You are better than that, and you know that! This isn’t a competition. You’re all trying to get a dog. Get over your insecure self and get on with the task at hand!”

Well Margery’s puppy walkers just finished up. Arg Sharon’s at the phone! Why isn’t instructor Tim coming back for me? come on I wanna free run. Gotta take my play collar and the whistle.

Oh, tired. Free ran her. We took her out into the paddock with the whistle in pocket. First you do obedience so you know pooch will come when you call. No listening, no free run. Then you keep walking to keep the dog checking in. Well first you take her into the paddock, with the leash still on her, you put the play collar on. Then you take the leash off and hold onto the collar. Then you say “free” and give her a shove. She should take off. At first she just sniffs around. Then she takes off like a shot. From time to time you whistle at her and have her come, but that doesn’t mean the walk’s over. We gave her a piece of kibble each time she came and praised her like mad. You have to keep moving. Then at the end, you put the leash on, grab the collar off her and lead her home. She didn’t wanna leave. Brought her in and went to take her out for a poop but Tim stopped me. He showed me how to leash-relieve her.

We interrupt this program to look at the day number on this. Day 13. I would be going home in six days, and just now, I am starting to leash relieve. At no time would I be supervised to be told what my dog was doing. I would have to figure this out all by myself.

So we start that tomorrow morning. you move the d clip up to the other ring so she has a longer leash. Then you take her out and then say “busy busy.” She peed and I didn’t even feel her sit. Didn’t have a clue. He showed me where the bags are. So tomorrow morning, I will groggily pick up poop. It begins. I hope I’m half decent at it.

God my feet are sore. Ouchy ouchy papa.

Anka really doesn’t like the f word. Every time she absolutely needs to use it, like if it’s in a story, there is a long pause and then she says, I’m sorry, I have to say…and then she says it. She’s really cute. I think she’s afraid to swear around Margery, or “mrs. Margery” as she calls her.

Tired, sore, sore, tired. Ouch ooch eech. I think I’m going to drag myself to the computer and check email for real. Not much more can happen tonight. Might try and make some calls…maybe I should do laundry and get it over with before tomorrow. Na. I’ll do it after mom and dad are gone.

Ya sure you wanna do that?

And I still have to groom this one. We did obedience already as prep for free run so I won’t bother her with that. Sore and tired, tired and sore.

Well it’s Friday. Next Friday I’ll be packing like a mo fo and going home. Hope I remember how I fit everything in. And no zipper-splittage! Can’t believe I have all my stuff plus more. Yeesh! Glad I’ve got mom and dad picking me up.

This morning was rather uneventful. No pretend slaps from Anka, no great big laugh fests, nothing like that. It was pretty low key.

Speaking of Anka, we decided that instead of Timmy ho’s stuff for Anka, we’re going to get her some German chocolate from this dellie. That would be way cool. Decided that yesterday at lunch.

Babs played a lively game of let’s roll around in front of mom to avoid getting the leash on. But I managed to win that one.

Shit I have to wash my teacup. Must remember to do that. Hope Anka didn’t do it already. The last thing I wanted to do was leave her more work.

I wonder if Margery’s watch will go again. Her watch went yesterday, back to 12 midnight, and she somehow thought it was 12 noon and we’d all left without her. Gees Margery I’d never do that.

I hope we go on another tandem walk today. That was so much fun. So much fun. She had a good chew on her bone last night…she just loved it. I like to give her her bone after a hard day. Not much else has happened yet today, except we got talking about another guide dog whose name sounded like quicky. Now we’ve got Quicky and Goodscrew. Oh dear. Going down hill.

Have to do her grooming/obedience. I love getting that over with first thing in the morning. And it doesn’t take long either. Then I’m free as a bird.

Maybe after, I’ll go out on the patio. Yesterday afternoon was so nice on the patio. Margery and I took our puppies out there and let them catch some sun. Oh that’s the other thing we’re gonna do on Saturday, free run the dogs. That’ll be fun.

This morning I noticed that I can sometimes just say door and she’ll sit. Beautiful, it’s starting to come.

So this morning I have to wash my teacup and do her grooming/obedience and then maybe check out the weather. Then maybe I’d have more interesting things to say.

Well that walk was fun…except she tried to take out another guide dog. Silly girl. I guess she thought maybe they’d have a confab about schools. Hahah. But we managed to get her past a yappy little dog, which I thought was damn Good. IT was a pretty good walk. I figured out why my legs start hurting. It’s when my shoes come loose or close to untied. Then I start walking funny to keep my shoes on. I do it subconsciously so I don’t even realize it.

Wow it’s cool to walk with her and watch her tail wag. It wacks me sometimes as we walk. Then I don’t feel like I’m working her so hard. It’s like she’s having fun.

Before we went out, Margery and I took our dogs out on the patio. Then I brought Babs into Margery’s room and Babs and Amy had a little play. When I groomed her, I noticed a little scab under her fur on her back near her side. It was very attached. I think it was from when Babs got caught in a little altercation with Charity and Willow in the hall. They bite around there. I showed it to instructor Tim and he says not to worry. So I can relax. Just have to get this lump resolved. Hurry up hurry up hurry up.

It seems she likes to be groomed, she drooled on me when I was doing it. I think that’s a good sign hahaha.

I really am starting to think like a dog. I went to go straight to lunch, and then I thought, “no no, she needs water.” So I brought her in here and sure enough she slurped down some water. Thirsty little thing.

It’s so nice out there. So beautiful. Yesterday afternoon was nice too. I like the beautiful days. Well I should go and chow down. Later.

Well we got the rules for the visitors. Should be interesting. When they come, they are to be kept to the front of the building. When I first meet them, I’m not to bring Babs. Then I bring Babs out and they’re to ignore the dog to keep her from getting excited. Then they can say hi. My parents are going to have a hard time with that. But that’s the scoop and I wanna follow the rules and not have a problem.

Poor Margery is completely confused. She thought visitors were coming this afternoon, then tomorrow, then finally she figured out that it was Sunday.

We might get to go to DQ next week. Excited about that for sure. So it’s back to the Gleib again. Wonder if it’s for a tandom walk. Heehee. Love them love them love them.

Oh yeah, I can’t say ok at corners because Babs thinks that’s synonymous with forward and takes off. So must watch my words.

Mom is going to help me get the card for Tim’s present. Yea. Then that will have that all wrapped up. 50 bucks at Canadian tire should be pretty damn good.

I should probably steal the computer. Today’s the last day to enter into the Japan contest.

Tired. Exhausted. Will try to sum up rest of day. Went out for afternoon walk. Was good, but found out later that Sharon and Tim got to do it tandem. But it would have been a busy street so would have been hard. Anyway would have looked forward to another tandem walk. Oh well, we did pretty well except for my dog trying to say hi to a dog tied to a post.
Found out Babs likes to catch flies and has a fear of bumble bees. Came back and ate supper, found out we’re doing our first group walk which is way cool. Had chillie for supper and headed back to room before going to Tim Hortons to take my pills. Dropped pill. Dog got it! Opened dog’s mouth but pill was gone. Dog sensed my panic and started licking me frantically. Ran to van white as a ghost afraid of what 10 mg of hydrocortisone would do to dog. Feeling stupid. They told me not to worry because they do give dogs cortisone for stuff so it won’t kill her. Was completely distracted at Timmy Ho’s, wolfed down my half of a chocolate cheesecake thing without really tasting it. Wasn’t able to talk much because I felt so damn stupid and terrified of what would happen to her. Babs tried to eat gum off the bottom of the table. Scary Jane and her daughter were there. We eventually left and came back home.

Margery almost let her dog poop in harness. Bad! Bad bad bad!

Came back and went over a bunch of CGDB merchandise, bought dog boots.

Went to room and gave dog her bone, she chewed it a while. Talked to mom and dad, dad seemed really mad. Really really mad. Don’t know why, wish I did.

Talked to Sharon a little while. Came back here, will crash. Will sleep soundly I’m sure. Tired. Tim says not to worry about the pill, he’s probably right. That will never ever happen again. Jesus she ate it so fast I didn’t have a chance. Just crunch. Jesus.

Ok, crashing for real this time.

Man I didn’t sleep well last night. I couldn’t get to sleep. Sometimes at night I worry about what will happen when I get back home. I worry that then, when I have to take care of all my other stuff and her, will I be overwhelmed? And will I be able to know what to do if instructor Tim’s not there to help me out? I mean I think I do ok, but he’s there to sorta guide me. I guess I’ll find that out this afternoon because we do the first tandem walk. I know I’m just worrying too much.

I also wonder if I’ll find places for all her stuff. I’m not too worried about that, but it pops into my head. Stupid things. I know I just worry too much. But you sorta think about those things when it’s getting closer to the end. I know I still have a week, but this week flew.

I also get scared about what Tim thinks of me. He’s so respectful to all of us, even though Margery’s doing things that i’m sure are making him go, “holy crap will you be able to handle a guide dog?” If it isn’t, I’d be wondering. He’s very observant, and knows I second guess myself. I wonder what else he thinks. I would love to see inside his mind.

Babs is starting to play funny business with me. When I get my leash, she rolls around on the ground and avoids me. Testing level 4. Silly girl. I’m just hoping that’s not a sign of something else. Ah, probably not.

God I’m still hungry. I had the usual bagel and tea and stuff and I’m still hungry. Is my stomach expanding or something?

I have an idea for Anka’s gift. Maybe mom and dad could get it when they’re down.

Anka’s getting vicious with her jokes. I think she’s just kidding, but Tim was going to order some chips and she said, “No chips. Look at your stomach, it’s on your legs. You shouldn’t have chips. You’re like my daughter.” So he jabbed her back because she started coughing. Oh it just kills me to hear her cough. Anyway, he said “stomach on my legs is better than hack hack hack.” Then we all started
laughing about shishkahooq again. Stupid commercial.

I can’t believe it’s Thursday. God I need to be in a better mood. The radio isn’t helping. Oh well.

I don’t know if Babs likes being groomed anymore. That makes me sad because every other dog seems to like it, what am I doing wrong? And I feel too embarrassed to ask instructor Tim to watch me do it. How hard is it to run a comb through a dog’s hair? Like hell how hard is that? Part of me wishes there were more newbs in the class…but then again, maybe they wouldn’t be brave enough to ask either. I should just swallow my pride and ask. People said to ask about whatever before you go home.

And I hope I’m not hurting her when I’m walking her on leash. Sometimes she overextends herself and I feel like I’m pulling on her. But I guess instructor Tim would tell me if he saw something wrong.

Is it normal for me to lose confidence in everything I’ve done so far? I’d love to know, but am a little nervous to ask. Maybe if I catch Sharon or something. I dunno. What the hell is with my mood? Maybe Amy’s blues are catching.

Oh, the plague of the newb. They’re all too afraid to show weakness, even though they’re probably showing it in actions instead of words. Just ask the frickin question. That shows more strength than you know.

Gotta remember to ask instructor Tim about how you cross at mid-block crossings, where there’s a pole in the middle of the sidewalk with a button. There must be a way to cross those even if there’s not a downcurb there. I don’t know. Gotta ask him because I cross those a bit. He better not say, “you just don’t do them.” I’ll be sad. I doubt it though.

I really hope it warms up to what they say it’s supposed to. That would be nice. I wish we could watch the news tonight while we eat dinner. I wanna find out what happens with the budget vote. I don’t wanna have to vote again. Arg! They’re all slime, I tell ya.

Ber it’s cold in here. I should take this one down and do obedience and grooming, provided she doesn’t find grooming torture. She must enjoy it, she stays still for me, except for sitting down whenever I go to comb her tail, but I know no dog likes her tail combed. I just worry when I’m combing her underbelly. I should just swallow my pride and get instructor Tim to watch me because I’m worried. I don’t wanna hurt her. I wish I could read her mind. Well I should get my butt in gear, then maybe I’ll cheer up.

Well I did. We went on a great walk, and Margery says Babs is likely just testing me with the leash thing. Silly girl. We went and did more traffic work, it wasn’t so bad as I thought and then we did a bit of off curb obstacles. Tim must work with some real nutjobs, because he thought he had to remind us what an off-curb obstacle was. And to think about safety when going around them. Well no shit sherlock. If there’s fense and construction up there, there’s no way in hell I’m stepping out into the street. Jesus Murphy.

Did I write about how Anka gave Tim the razz about having a big stomach? We have a couple options about how to get Anka’s stuff. We might get her some chocolate. That would be damn good. And there’s always the mug and coffee.

Oh, and instructor Tim says you can do midblock crossings at the pole thing. Rockin awesome cool.

It’s such a nice day out there. I might have to go out and sit on the patio and soak up the sun. Oh there’s Babs in her bed. Silly silly girl.

Poor Margery’s watch is threatening to die. I might lend her my clock radio so she has something to check the time. It sucks having nothing to check the time.

We might have pie for dessert tonight. Mmm…pie! drool drool.

I’m starting to think like a dog. If I smell something down the street I think, hmmm if I were a dog, I would just be in sniff heaven. Better tell her to leave it. And sometimes, when I have to go to the bathroom, I wonder if she has to go too. She really does change your life.

This afternoon should be interesting. Wonder how long we’re walking for since we both get out together.

Margery scared instructor Tim I think today. She almost took her dog out into the middle of the street. Man alive that woman is going to get herself killed.

Apparently we’re all loud, we laugh so loud you can hear us through the whole building. Sharon calls me the birdy because I whistle and sing all the time. I must drive them all looloo. Well I should do a quick email check and then I might go out to the patio. Ooo sun on the patio!

Interesting. I’m called birdy in one place and Twinkle toes in another. That kind of makes me giggle.

Well this afternoon was the most amazing feeling in the whole world. That was the best. Oh it was my first real puppy walk because there was no instructor Tim leash.

Compare that to the Trixie days, where I got her on day 4 and started walking without the double leash in the afternoon of day 5.

I completely controled her myself and it went damn well! There was only one street I screwed up on but it wasn’t your conventional street crossing. We did perfectly. I wanted to run down to the end of the street just to see what was there. I felt like flying! It was awesome!

Margery and I both got out of the van and we both walked our dogs, and we had to keep one behind the other and switch positions so that the dogs took turns leading and following so one wouldn’t get lazy. I wanted to just sprint. But I had to slow down, and managed to slow her down, and felt in complete control. Her sniffing didn’t even bother me. I was able to bring her back under control.

The apprentices just watched and it was great. one funny thing happened. When we came back to the bus, she almost gallopped to it. Mark says, “Get on and ride!” We had a good laugh about that.

She’s the best damn dog in the whole world.

Well, she tried. Poor beast.

We walked for an hour and I didn’t even feel it. The poor dogs were puffing and panting. We gave them a bit of water just to cool them off a little, but not too much because they might bring it all back up. Then we brought her back and I fed her and she actually behaved herself rather well. She’s starting to realize that when mom says slow the hell down,
mom means it and if you keep bolting like a wild beast, you have to wait longer for the chow down. She’s starting to sit if I just say door. It’s great.

Student Tim, Sharon and I had a little confab about Margery. We think she’ll be on about as short a leash as the dog when she gets home. Instructor Tim will come see her and then either say she’s unsafe or tell her she can only take the dog to certain places. Poor Margery, has such trouble. Then Sharon and I had tea and that was cool. Ooo, have to remember to wash my mug.

Some of the dogs had a little play in the hall and the leashes got all hooked together. They managed to get them unhooked though.

I thought Anka was going to eat us alive just before dinner. We were sitting in the lounge watching the budget vote, and she came in and said, “come and eat or if you don’t come in two minutes, there will be no supper for anyone.” We all got up and looked like little kids. “Yes ma’am, yes.”

We still don’t know what Shish means in her language, whatever it is, she’s from Bosnia. When student Tim joked about wanting Chicken Shishkahooq or whatever, she erupted into laughter and said we were being silly, and said we must know what Shish is in her language.

Dinner was absolutely delicious, probably because I was so hungry from the walk, and then we had pudding for dessert.

Heehee I’m excited, tomorrow night we go to Timmy Ho’s. Then the next day, well, it’s a bit chaotic. We have a morning walk and then we come back and get our dogs weighed, and then people see/call their puppy walkers, sniff sniff, and the rest of us go out for walks, and what the hell is Saturday night? I can’t remember. Then Sunday is visitors’ day. Then Monday is the holiday but we do more work and then we go out for Chinese, on CGDB’s dime no less. Then Tuesday I know we’re going for a country walk in the afternoon, don’t know what’s going on in the morning and then we’re having a chat with the vet. Maybe I can corner her about Babs’ lump. Then we go out to Swiss Chalet because student Tim was craving it. Then we go on a night walk! Hee hee! A night walk! All together! Heehee! Don’t know what’s up with Wednesday, but Thursday we graduate and then Friday it’s all over. Yeesh! Oo I’m so excited to see mom and dad. Heehee. I think that’s about all for today.