Man With Hammer-Induced Thumb Injury Appeals To Christ Almighty
Huge Animal Jumps Right Fucking Out In Front Of Area Man
Armless Fiancée Shows Off Engagement Hat
International Star Registry Accidently Renames Sun ‘Margaret’
Weird Science
Here is a list of 10 of the strangest scientific studies ever done.
Included are such invaluable gems as “The Effect of Country Music on Suicide”, “Rectal Foreign Bodies: Case Reports and a Comprehensive Review of the World’s Literature”, “Safe and Painless Manipulation of Penile Zipper Entrapment”, and many more. Ok, 7 more to be exact.
I’m not sure if I’m more amused by the fact that somebody decided to study these things, or that these people were somehow able to obtain grants to do so.
In A Twisted Way It Was Kind Of Meant To Be
Mark R. Hotuyec was arrested last week after being caught naked and masturbating while driving his van beside a school bus full of children from wait for it…wait for it…
Wood View Elementary School.
Well, they certainly got a pretty good one that day.
>I Wonder If They Conducted A Sting Operation
>Angela Nellany recently pled no contest to charges that she attempted to kill her husband Paul with a can full of wasps. Where did this story appear? That would be
The Modesto Bee,
of course.
I Live In A Bubble
My name is Steve, and I’m a wrestleholic. NO really, it’s true. I watch waaaaay waaaay too much of the stuff. I suppose that deep down I’ve always known it, but today I feel I finally have to face it once and for all.
This morning I woke up to the news that
Mats Sundin has decided not to waive his no-trade clause.
I’m not sure how to feel about that decision just yet. I can kind of see both sides. On the one hand Sundin is one of the best Leafs there has ever been and definitely one of the only guys this year to be a consistently good go to player. Besides, they put it in his contract and it’s his right to play where he wants to play. But on the other I can understand the desire to build for the future [especially given the season they’ve been having], and unloading somebody of his calibre would certainly be a pretty big move in that direction provided they make the right deal.
But back to homeboy’s wrestling addiction. I open my eyes, I turn on the news, I hear about Sundin. Almost immediately my mind starts screaming “THEY’RE WORKING YOU! IT’S A SWERVE! They’re putting this story out there to throw the media off the trail until a deal is done. Then they’ll announce it right at the deadline so it’ll be a huge story and a big surprise.”
Yes, in my brain Vince Russo is now booking the NHL.
But hey, what if I’m right? Stranger things have happened, and it’s not like this would be the first time somebody ever tried to pull something off without the press finding out.
Yeah, I’m probably nuts, but maybe not. Whatever the answer, I guess we’ll know tomorrow.
Why Not Just Pull The Bell?
Someone asked a good question on my cellphone-using bus driver post that I thought needed to be answered up here. They wondered why I didn’t pull the bell myself. This is because when you’re blind, sometimes it’s hard to judge the distance and time and know if you’re really at the bus stop you think you are, and getting lost, especially in the cold, isn’t my favourite pastime. Some blinks are awesome at the whole knowing exactly where they are on a bus route thing , and have no problem pulling the bell at the right spot. I’m not one of those, so I prefer to sit at the front of the bus and ask to be let off at a certain stop.
Does that make sense? I hope it explains that whole thing to a few people who probably think I’m a lazy bastard for not pulling the bell.
Do You Hear What I Hear?
Remember back when I mentioned a virtual haircut? Well, that particular barber has moved along, but you can find him here, along with some other oddities. What phantom words do you hear? Which phoneme is cut out by the cough? How do the scales play in your head? And what do you think of that song? The human brain is a wonderful thing.
Strokin’
Barb
tagged me with
the same wacky survey quiz thingie that Carin just did,
so here goes.
1. Put your iTunes, Winamp, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write that song name down no matter how silly it sounds.
1. IF SOMEONE SAYS “YOU’RE HOT” YOU SAY?
Trench Town Rock
2. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR LIFE?
Friend Of Mine
3. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE LONG GOAL?
Outside Now
4. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
What’s Going On Here
5. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
State Of The Union
6. WHAT DO YOU OFTEN THINK ABOUT?
What We’re All About
7. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON WHO LIKES YOU?
Sister Sally
8. WHAT DOES YOUR BEST FRIEND ALWAYS SAY TO YOU?
Pretty Vegas
9. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Out Of My Head
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SAYING?
Greensleeves
11. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Starbucks Sucks
12. WHAT WILL BE PLAYED AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Tear It Up
13. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Rocky Mountain Way
14. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Live Again (The Fall Of Man)
15. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR HOUSE?
I’ll Stick Around
16. WHAT WILL YOU NAME THIS POST?
Strokin’
Well, considering half the searches we get in our stats, that title’s actually pretty fitting.
Don’t think I really learned anything about myself, but it was a neat way to waste a couple minutes.
My Doorbell
Barb M wants me to do this, so off I go. I expect this will heartily suck, but who knows? Maybe it will be hillarious.
1. Put your iTunes, Winamp, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write that song name down no matter how silly it sounds.
1. IF SOMEONE SAYS “YOU’RE HOT” YOU SAY?
Eat my brain.
2. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR LIFE?
Superman
3. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE LONG GOAL?
good mother
4. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Shaggy goes shopping
5. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Golden Slumbers
6. WHAT DO YOU OFTEN THINK ABOUT?
te quitter
7. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON WHO LIKES YOU?
Soft Wars: The Microsoft Empire
8. WHAT DOES YOUR BEST FRIEND ALWAYS SAY TO YOU?
Dog
9. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
I Think I’m A Clone Now
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SAYING?
STP
11. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Sunday Bloody Sunday
12. WHAT WILL BE PLAYED AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Crossroads
13. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
I Missed The Bus
14. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Date Rape
15. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR HOUSE?
Undone
16. WHAT WILL YOU NAME THIS POST?
My Doorbell
I’m amazed I didn’t have mor French titles in there. There were some lame ones, but some pretty funny ones, and no, I’m not keeping some date rape secret. I had to say that in case someone got all disturbed or something.
Worst Name Ever?
Now boys and girls, I want you to say hello to your new classmate Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116. You can call him /ˈalˌbin/ if you must.