The Monkeysphere

I’ve been meaning to link to this for a while because I think it’s an interesting concept. Since I can’t seem to come up with anything else meaningful to say, I guess now’s the time to get the link up here.

There’s an interesting article that tries to explain why we humans have a tendency to be pricks to people we don’t know. It’s because they aren’t in ourmonkeysphere.

What the hell’s a monkeysphere? Well, it’s the number of monkeys that monkey brains can perceive as members of their species worth caring about, and according to this theory, it tops out at about 150. Since our brains are pretty close cousins to theirs, the theory says we have about the same limitations. So, how do we perceive the rest of the humans around us? Well, we can’t really consider them to be truly human. It’s an interesting idea to twist your monkey brain around, and it’s funny, so go read it. Hopefully I’ll be able to twist my monkey brain into writing something funny to put up here tomorrow.

>Sticking Points

>I don’t know how I feel about this one. I’m completely and utterly torn. Juliana Cumbo worked to become an accupuncturist. She’s passed the board exams and has done tons of practical work. But the board of acupuncturists in Texas refuse to grant her a license. Why? She’s blind, so they’re scared that she won’t be able to find the points or notice bleeding if it happens.

I’d be with them, except for that whole part about her having experience and passing the board exams. I’ve got news for them. Sighted folk screw up more than they’d like to admit. The truth is she’s probably worked harder than lots of people to make sure she’s got it right. If I actually wanted to have someone stick needles in me, I’d just want to make sure whoever I got was good. I’d probably have a few extra questions for her, even being blind myself, but if I could be convinced that she was good and I would be safe, then she can go ahead.

But here’s the part where I get worried. If they don’t grant her license, she’s thinking about suing on the grounds of ADA, which she seems to have the right to do. But I’m worried that will push things in the other direction, and make everybody scared to refuse people where there is a case for refusal.

Ug. Why can’t people keep an open mind so this lawsuit crap doesn’t have to happen?

I guess It Was His Time Then

What a strange story, complete with strange name. Sevan Kavorkian decided to hang himself. His girlfriend found him, cut him down and revived him. He started beating the everloving hell out of her, a man climbed through a window to save her, put Kavorkian in a sleeper hold, and this killed him. What a strange chain of events that’s guaranteed to leave a lot of people screwed up for a long time.

I’m Not A Scout, So I Don’t Need Honour.

I’ve learned two things from this story. 1. If you find yourself in Florida with the urge to steal money from someone, make sure you just don’t take it by force or directly from their hands. So if you can distract them, that envelope of girl scout cookie money is fair game.
2. There are two sociopaths in training in the town of Boynton Beach. Yep. The two 17-year-olds who robbed the nine-year-old Girl Scout openly said they’re not sorry, and just pissed that they got caught. I wish they’d turned 18 so their names could get plastered everywhere.

At least the one kid’s dad had enough sense to pay the money back. I hope he’s ashamed of the monster that is his daughter. Not only did she steal from the poor little kid, she came back the next day and taunted her! I guess it worked out for the little girl, she got extra money from the supermarket where the assholes robbed her. But I don’t know if money will fix the damage that I’m sure those kids caused. I mean, they robbed her right in front of her mother!

I hope to hell they don’t get off easy just because they’re minors. With attitudes like that, they don’t deserve a chance. They deserve some serious punishment.

I Wish This Wasn’t True

Oh my lord. When Steve put up that link to the video about the Kid Bankrupting the Make A Wish Foundation, did anyone actually think it was true? In case you did, it’s a joke. J o k e! It’s Satire! But a lot of people missed it, so much so that Snopes is talking about it. It even says in the emails they’re receiving that the person has never heard of the Today Now! show, and they’re not sure if it’s real. Hmm. That would be your first clue that it’s a spoof.

I don’t know if this is a complement to the Onion’s skilled production work, or a disturbing sign that our collective IQ is dropping like a rock. I guess we can choose how we want to look at it.

We Will BE Beginning Our Descent Into Madness Shortly…

Picture this. You get on a plane in Toronto, bound for London, England. Things are all good, until you see someone being pinned down by crew-members near the galley of the plane. It’s the co-pilot!

For unknown reasons, he just went insane, screaming that he wanted to speak to god. Thankfully, the plane was diverted to Ireland, and everyone’s ok…well…everyone but the co-pilot, who is in hospital. But it’s ok, so he says. You can text him, you can email him. I just love this story for the headline.

Part of me feels guilty for laughing. Who knows what happened to the poor guy? But man, what an image that must have been, your co-pilot being dragged past business class, back into the cabin in ankle-shackles. That’s a flight to remember.

Eeewww! Get Away! You Might Give Me Cooties!

If you’re in court, and you find out you’re going before Judge Jon-Jo Douglas, you can hang your head and crry because he’s an ignorant prick. There is no better way to describe a judge who, once he found out a witness had HIV and Hepatitis C, freaked out, demanded he wear a mask, ordered that all his documents be handled by gloves and placed in plastic bags, and had the court proceedings take place in a bigger courtroom, placing more distance between the witness and the bench. According to the Judge Jon-Jo Douglas school of HIV-training, “The HIV virus will live in a dried state for year after year after year and only needs moisture to reactivate itself.” This is 2008, Judge Douglas. Get a clue.