Vomit Comet

The Name Game

Since I somehow managed to miss the hilarity of
Kenneth Sodomsky
even after reading it twice before Carin saw it and posted it, I feel the need to try to redeem myself. So…

1. With a name like this you’d think she’d know better, but apparently not.

Ordered to serve an extra 90 days in jail on top of the remainder of a 5 year suspended sentence for grand larceny and burglary after signing a court document with a note telling the judge to kiss her ass is
Judith Law.

2. I know the spelling isn’t exact, but you give me another way to pronounce it.

Arrested on charges of battery for allegedly groping 2 women repeatedly is
Larry L. Letcher.

There, that seems like a decent start.

XP Disservice Pack

So, let me get this straight. Microsoft is admitting that their own file formats are less secure. How? by updating Windows so it denies access to them. Hmmm. How about making them more secure?

It appears that they have realized that this is a bad idea and provided a fix.

Way to go Microsoft, loudly proclaiming that you suck at security.

Carma Chameleon?

I’ve seen a lot of dumb USB gadgets, but this one is beyond stupid. A USB Chameleon that, uh, doesn’t change colour. It just sorta rolls its eyes and pokes out its tongue. At that point, why bother? Do we seriously have that many available USB ports that we can buy pointless things like that?

You Know You’re Lonely When…

I love Trixie, I think she’s awesome. I sometimes talk for her. But I would never, ever, ever, sign her up to Dogbook. When you start joining your pet up to a Facebook for dogs, and friending other people’s pets, you’re heading down the road to loserville.

How Many Five Year Olds Could You Take In A Fight?

According to this, I’m good for 18 of the little bastards. you?

You Have Your Data, So Shut Up

Remember back when NASA wanted to destroy the data from an airline safety study? Well, they decided it would be better to release it, but scramble it, making it impossible for anyone to understand it. Way to go, NASA.

He Definitely Put the Gas in Gastroenterologist

Oh dear, oh dear dear. Someone is seriously disturbed, disturbed enough to study farts in graphic detail.

I mean I’m all for studying those things we don’t like to talk about, but…getting volunteers to eat beans and then fart into bags via rectal tubes and then get other people to sit there and have syringes of the stuff waved under their noses? That’s just twisted. But I love the terms used in this article.

No Brains, All Hart

Wow. This guy would feel pretty stupid in the morning. Jeremy Hart showed up drunk to rob a house, wearing a red Santa hat among other things, ploughed his car into a snow bank, only took prescription drugs and votive candles, and when he went to leave, he discovered he couldn’t get out of said snow bank, and had to knock on the door he just robbed and ask for shelter from the cold. Needless to say, he got some shelter, in a jail cell.

Bluetooth Brings Orange Jumpsuit

This guy was not meant to rob the Wendy’s. It just wasn’t going to happen. First, he found out the safe was time-locked so he’d have to wait. Then his screams not to anser the phone activated the bluetooth headset on someone’s cellphone, which made the person on the other end of the phone call police. But the final straw was when he exited the restaurant with an employee as a hostage, which caused the automatic lock on the door to lock behind him. Done like dinner! Well, not without some strange antics from this idiot on parole. He bashed his own head with his own gun until he bled, and then surrendered. Yup, you belong in jail.

Flooded With Rage

Um, when you think Tsunami aid, do you think programs pushing Australian values on Asians? I didn’t think so either. But that’s what Australian NGOs have been doing with the tsunami relief money they were given to, ya know, rebuild lives shattered by the tsunami of 2004. Hey guys, I think your audience would be a lot more receptive if they had food and water. How about using the money for what it was intended, and if, miracle of miracles, you have money left over, put it aside for the next disaster.