No Defence Should Have Been Enough

We talk pretty regularly around here about how personal responsibility is a dying concept, but I think I’ve finally found a story that to me not only kills it, but also knocks over its tombstone and pisses on its grave for good measure.

In May 2004, 19-year old Sandra Bergen bought some crystal meth from a man named Clinton Davey. Not surprisingly, she used it. She subsequently suffered an overdose, nearly died of a heart attack and spent 11 days in a coma.

A little more than 2 years ago, she along with her parents decided to sue Davey for negligence. Well, the decision was handed down recently, and even though it was a default judgment because Davey refused to give up the name of the original source of the drugs he sold,
they won,
and can now collect damages.

I can’t imagine what this is going to mean for an already screwed up and backlogged legal system. Actually I can, but I’d rather not. By finding in their favour no matter how flimsy the technicality, the judge in this case has opened the door for any idiot who willingly ingests lord knows what to sue the strange dirty man on the street corner when something goes wrong.

I know that the law is the law and that judges sometimes have to do things they don’t like. I also know better than to expect common sense from a drug user, but I’ll say this anyway. Use your fucking head! If you go out into the street, give money to the creepy guy in exchange for something he probably brewed up in his bathtub using industrial chemicals and then willingly ingest it, you’re taking a risk. He isn’t taking that risk, you are. Suing a drug dealer because you had a bad night is like suing a brewery because you drank 18 beers and passed out on a sidewalk. Actually it’s even worse than that because at least beer is a regulated product, meaning that there are safety standards. When you’re buying meth on the black market you have no such protections, nor do you deserve any. So if anybody should be held responsible for your drug problems it isn’t the dealer, nor is it the police who failed to arrest him or you before the transaction could be made or you could take the stuff. The person you need to worry about is looking at you every day when you look in the mirror.

Oh My God, I Have Nothing To Wear! .com

I know that a lot of people are really into buying clothes, and I’m cool with that. There’s nothing wrong with having a lot of something you like. But that said, if ever the problem of what to wear becomes such an issue that you need an internet closet assistant, it might be time to throw some shit away.

Closet Assistant requires the user to manually input their inventory of clothing. Users can simply upload a picture, or go the whole nine yards by adding names, descriptions (complete with category and subcategory), price paid, and purchase date. Once added to their virtual closet, these items can be combined with others to make an outfit. You can then share these outfits with others Closet Assistant users (on a MySpace-like profile page), or schedule what you want to wear, and when you want to wear it until the end of time using the calendaring tool.

Hopefully among the description fields there’s one for number of precious life moments lost entering socks into a computer.

The Name Game

Since I somehow managed to miss the hilarity of
Kenneth Sodomsky
even after reading it twice before Carin saw it and posted it, I feel the need to try to redeem myself. So…

1. With a name like this you’d think she’d know better, but apparently not.

Ordered to serve an extra 90 days in jail on top of the remainder of a 5 year suspended sentence for grand larceny and burglary after signing a court document with a note telling the judge to kiss her ass is
Judith Law.

2. I know the spelling isn’t exact, but you give me another way to pronounce it.

Arrested on charges of battery for allegedly groping 2 women repeatedly is
Larry L. Letcher.

There, that seems like a decent start.

He Definitely Put the Gas in Gastroenterologist

Oh dear, oh dear dear. Someone is seriously disturbed, disturbed enough to study farts in graphic detail.

I mean I’m all for studying those things we don’t like to talk about, but…getting volunteers to eat beans and then fart into bags via rectal tubes and then get other people to sit there and have syringes of the stuff waved under their noses? That’s just twisted. But I love the terms used in this article.

No Brains, All Hart

Wow. This guy would feel pretty stupid in the morning. Jeremy Hart showed up drunk to rob a house, wearing a red Santa hat among other things, ploughed his car into a snow bank, only took prescription drugs and votive candles, and when he went to leave, he discovered he couldn’t get out of said snow bank, and had to knock on the door he just robbed and ask for shelter from the cold. Needless to say, he got some shelter, in a jail cell.