Thanks, That Really Narrows It Down.

This story isn’t all that special, except for the oh so helpful description provided by police.

He is described as white with defined facial features and acne marks on his face. He is between 17-24 years old, stands about 6 feet tall and weighs about 170 pounds.

Defined facial features? What does that even mean? And I’m sure there are quite a few pimply-faced kids out there. This description is about as good as describing someone as non-white. If you define some of those features for us, you might narrow the suspect pool a bit.

So This Is What A girl’s Innocence Is Worth?

Ok, so a bunch of boys can force a girl to have oral sex with them, piss on her, set her hair on fire, tape the whole thing and distribute it, and only get probation and rehab? Oh, and this isn’t the first time these boys have done similar things? Riiiiight! I hate stories like these. The judge’s words are full of venom and disgust, but the actions don’t match. Rage, rage, oh rage!

In Scotland, They Don’t Screw Around!

Wow! Years ago, in Scotland, there must have been a lot of sex-offenders who weren’t caught before they did something ghastly horrible. Why else would they throw people on the registry for screwing a bike, and now getting it on with pavement. At least this one, I can half understand because it was in full view of a female cab driver, so he could have been flashing her or something. But my my, you don’t just have to assault people anymore, screwing things works too.

Stupid Trends In Stupid Emails

I’ve noticed a trend lately with those stupid virus hoax emails that I get from time to time. Steve says this has been going on for years, but apparently I have been kept oblivious to it until now. They claim at the top of them that they already checked snopes, and this virus is real.

Newsflash, friends and acquaintances. When you hear those words, you might wanna double-check Snopes, because probably you’ll find out that it is the furthest thing from real that is possible. Really, it’s not that hard to check snopes. They have a pretty rockin’ cool search box right at the top, and if you type keywords from the email into it, you’ll likely find what you’re looking for. And, if that doesn’t work, they have categories you can sift through.

Everybody! You can’t rely on others to do your research for you. If you get too lazy and allow others to feed you the information, they may start to feed you lies. Use your brain, look around, think for yourself!

Unknown Reasons And Other Random Wrestling Musings

I’ve got a few random wrestling thoughts floating around in my head, so I thought I’d better write them down before they’re out of date or I forget about them like 3 quarters of what happens on TNA. If you’re not a wrestling person, feel free to skip this post, there’s nothing for you to see here.

I wonder how many of you actually stuck around after I warned that there was a wrestling post ahead. I suspect not a lot, at least not if the search stats here on the site and my own personal experience mean anything at all. I’m starting to think that out of my circle of wrestling watching friends and acquaintances, I’m pretty much the last man standing. The last time I can remember spending any length of time bullshitting with a buddy about wrestling was back in the summer, and most of that was talking about how much we liked UFC and how much better their shows have been than WWE’s. Before that I spent a weekend catching another friend up on current happenings because he was visiting for a few days and we decided to order SummerSlam. The guy couldn’t remember the last time he watched any wrestling at all, and he used to be a huge fan, one of those people who tried not to miss anything. Since that time, other than a few short conversations with an uncle and watching
No Mercy
with a bunch of people who weren’t really fans, there’s been nothing. No what’d you think of the show emails, no should I get a replay, and not even any what’s your take on the latest big news story? I’m not saying that wrestling is in danger of dying off anytime soon, but when you’re driving away your biggest fans and not holding even casual interest, something is definitely in need of fixing before it does.

One of the things in need of fixing is the quantity and quality of pay-per-view events out there. WWE alone has 2 this month, each weighing in at a hefty $40. Other than the most hardcore fans and people who cover the business for a living, who is going to drop that much coin on shows that with very few exceptions are no better than what you can see every week for free? Cyber Sunday is a good example of that. It had the voting for matches and stipulations hook so more people may have watched it, but other than Undertaker Batista and Triple H Umaga, everything else was about average and nothing I’d ever need to see again. By the time next year’s version comes around I doubt I’ll remember anything about this one, and when your goal is to have me spend money, like the show and then decide to spend money again in the future, this is bad.

Just when I think TNA can’t get any more ridiculous, they go out and top themselves. I’m not even talking about the current world title situation, you know, the one that revealed, at least in the context of storylines, that TNA Management doesn’t watch their own show. Then again, who could blame them? No, I’m talking about the
Junior Fatu/Robert Roode
thing again.

As I figured would happen, Fatu beat old Whatshisname to advance in the tournament. If that was the worst of it, I could have written it off as another in the long line of stupid fucking things done by this stupid fucking company. But oh no, this is TNA, always ready to go above and beyond. Later in the week, reports come out that Junior has left the company over money issues. You realize what this means don’t you? TNA, brain surgeons that they are, had been giving a main event level push to a guy that they not only didn’t have under contract, but hadn’t even finished negotiating with. rgJMP:jm'[aiREHJQEKL;RHA;DHLKJASDHFLASKDHF! That, in case you were wondering, was me bashing myself repeatedly in the head with my keyboard.

So with Fatu now out of the picture, it falls to TNA to explain why he isn’t around anymore and to slide somebody into his vacated tournament spot. So what do they do? Do they give Robert Roode his spot back? Do they give Christian, who wasn’t even a participant when it started but won his way this far a buy to the finals? No. They put Chris Harris, who wasn’t even in the original brackets, into a match against Christian because, and I wish I was making this up, he was so close to making it during the qualifying. a;slskdhfqw[oiur9p84p987523409kljasdghkljadhgalkjtgertgqlkglalksjdfhkljahdfklk;ajsdnv

As for why Junior wasn’t there? The best that TNA could come up with was, and I quote, “unknown reasons.” Unknown reasons? You mean you don’t even know why he left? I guess that makes sense since management doesn’t have a clue what’s going on either in real life or on the show, but come on. How hard would it have been to say that he suffered an injury in training, was unable to compete and was giving up his spot? I came up with that idea in 10 seconds, and TNA, with days worth of warning, could only pull out unknown reasons? That explains a lot. Also makes the company look real good, doesn’t it? “Gee, we don’t know why this guy left in the middle of a world title tournament.” Idiots.

And speaking of idiots, WWE is now making the names of people suspended for failing Wellness tests public, and the first 2 names came out last week. Chris Masters is out for 60 days which means that this is his second violation, and Harry [D.H.] Smith, who just started to appear on TV, is out for 30. the Smith case is sad, because of all the people you’d think wouldn’t be failing tests, he’s the guy. I don’t know what he tested positive for, but what I do know is that in 2002, his father DaveyBoy Smith, also a wrestler, died, and drug use was a major factor. Hopefully Harry is smart enough not to take the same road, but I’ve given people in wrestling too much credit before, so I’m not holding my breath.

That’s all for now. If any wrestling fans still read this thing, feel free to drop a comment or an email. It’d be nice to know a few of you still exist.

Just What We Need. Something Else To Distract People While They Drive

Thanks to a new service called Horntones, you, yes you, can have the most annoying car on the road, at least until somebody else with the same idea and complete lack of respect for money as you have comes riding through town.

For a mere $300, you can get your hands on the FX550, a device that will enable you to broadcast any mp3 you wish to the surrounding area at a pretty solid volume whenever you honk your horn. When I say solid, I’m talking fair-sized speaker and 150 wat amp, so people will definitely hear you. It also comes with 250 megs worth of memory and 9 presets, so with a little imagination and creativity, you’ll never run out of new and exciting things to tell the world. And when I say never, I suppose what I really mean is until the world hauls you out of your car and beats you to death for playing the “your driving is the drizzling fucking shits” sound at it one too many times, or maybe just for being the kind of douchebag who would rig his car up like that for any other reason than it’s part of a parade.

You Did Have A Problem, But We Fixed It. Carry On!

Explain how this is supposed to work. I have a Feedburner account so we can have the funky doodle RSS and email thing up there in the top of the page. Cool! One of the services Feedburner offers is called Feed Bulletin. It says that it will send messages to you when the feed goes down, and occasionally, there will be messages from the Feedburner crew. Double cool! But, if you get the email version, it only sends you one email per day! So, unless you have a feed problem of astronomical proportions, you only hear about it when it’s all cleared up. What the?

There are no preferences, and at no point does it explain that if you go with the email version instead of the RSS version, you only get one email per day, numbnut.

Honestly, if the service is supposed to send you updates when problems arise, and the company providing the service doesn’t plan on giving the email version the same immediacy offered by the RSS version, why offer the email version? I love hearing that my feed is fixed. But it would be nice to hear that it’s broken before it’s no longer broken, thus making the message pointless. That would be kind of like updating a parent on the condition of her kid by email, but deciding to combine the news that her kid was all better with an alert stating that her kid was taken to the hospital and needed stitches just because the two events happened within the same 24-hour period, and you didn’t want to send her too many emails. This is one of those cases where I’m willing to make an exception.

After writing this post, I wonder why I still have the Feed Bulletin email thing on.