Ok, explain this one to me. You decide you need cosmetic surgery. You find a couple who say they’ll do it for a reasonable rate. You are brought to their office and find that their office is actually a filthy house filled with drugs and syringes and four children running around in it and you still agree to go under the knife? Why! Quelle surprise, the patients of this home plastic surgeon, Ha Nguyen, who had no medical license, end up with disfiguring scars. At least she did one good thing for the world. The really stupid can be readily identified by the marks she’s left on them.
Click Here to Continue The Service
There was a vicar in England who:
- spat in a paritioner’s face
- posted supposedly confidential cards where people had written their innermost thoughts
- had a bad temper and bullied people on the church board
- would not comfort paritioners when their parents died
- delivered the Christmas day service in Powerpoint!
but no one said anything until he…
*gasp* What a horrible thing to do! Now, a tribunal has assembled to decide what to do with him, and the slideshow sermons seem to be the major issue. Uh, shouldn’t those other things go higher on the list? I can understand it being the straw that broke the camel’s back, but the way the story was worded, it was like that was their major problem. People are weird.
Criminal Cat?
Steve and I were talking about ASBO’s because of that story about that man who just loves hospital gowns and he told me about an ASBO being issued to a cat! Yep, it goes meow, claw, spit, hiss, chases string and anything that moves, including the neighbours in this one’s case, and it has a criminal record.
Why why why? I understand why something had to be done. This cat apparently was spontaneously biting and scratching people. But an ASBO? Isn’t there some kind of animal-related thing they could use? And they decided the cat needed Prozac. Ok then.
I think the best quote was his owner saying that the cat is “a cat’s cat.” Then why are you keeping him in the city? If he doesn’t like people and likes to be all wild and unrestrained, maybe he doesn’t need an ASBO. Maybe he needs a new home. Let him live in a barn chasing mice or something.
Don’t Wizz On The Central Air Vents!
Every time I think about this search result, I giggle, then gag. Does that mean I gaggle? Har.
02 Sep, Sun, 20:51:24
: If dog urinates on the outside central air conditioning unit is it possible the strong smell,feel of urine can go through the whole house?
I don’t have an answer, but in response to your question, I have more questions. Did your dog just piss on the central air vent? That has gotta suck! If that’s what just happened, have the days that followed given you an answer to your question? Where do central air vents hang out? Would it be easy for a dog to pee on it? Or did it have to go through some acrobatics to get there?
I wish I had an actual answer for the question. All I’ve gotta say is if this poor soul is searching for an answer, he’s, well, barking up the wrong tree by clicking here. The sad thing is we’re actually near the top of the results for that queery, and by posting this, I just pushed us higher. Oh dear. Hope life doesn’t stink too much for our googling friend.
Don’t Take that Born To Be Wild Thing Too Seriously There, Buddy!
Justin Patterson led police on a high-speed chase through two counties. Was he drunk? No. Did he have warrants? Nope. Why was he going so fast and driving like a complete moron? He was late for his test to get his motorcycle license. Well, after being charged with reckless driving, speeding 130 mph in a 55 mph zone, fleeing or attempting to elude police, failure to maintain a lane, leaving
the scene of an accident and passing in a no-passing zone, I think he’ll have to be a lot later for that appointment.
Rock Bottom
This story starts off pretty boring. Michael Marburger was a successful salesman of medical equipment who then found himself addicted to booze and gambling, and fired from his job. So, to feed his addiction, he started stealing medical equipment. But the only medical equipment he stole was, well, colonoscopes. He would march right into 22 different hospitals in various states pretending to be a salesman or a hospital employee, go straight to the room where the thing was, and snatch it.
Why? Why only them? What the hell? Are they the most expensive piece of medical equipment? Does he have a fascination with them? He must, if he knows exactly where they are in so many places. I mean, if you’re selling all kinds of medical equipment, you don’t have a hope in hell of remembering where each piece is hanging out in each hospital. Did the loan sharks tell him they’d take his debts out of his ass, and that’s what gave him the idea?
either way, he’s going to prison for three years. I’m sure he’ll learn lots about taking it up the butt.
Know My Name By Fear Or By Respect.
Wow, this girl needs to relax. Apparently, after a poor unfortunate family friend, who is probably no longer a family friend, mispronounced Megan Jane Conroy’s name, she kicked him in the nads, sending him to the hospital with severe genetal bruising. Nobody can explain this outburst, she’s never been this way before.
Dear little Megan, if I could count the ways people have butchered my last name, not to mention my first name, I’d have quite the list of casualties.
What’s with all the weirdness. Is it a full moon?
Mmm…Sunchips!
Holy shit this is a day full of weird news. Have you ever thought about eating your newspaper after you’ve finished reading it? No? I hadn’t either. Butthis woman from Edmunton has nibbled on it every day for 7 years!
Yup, you heard that right. She doesn’t have Alzheimers, there’s nothing wrong with her mind. She doesn’t have any weird iron deficiencies that sometimes give people the urge to eat things that aren’t food. She just likes the taste of it, and it has to be the Edmunton Sun.
She finally got a case of, well, sun-block, when a ball of paper blocked her esophagus and had to be moved down into her stomach with a scope. Now she’s not so keen on chewing on the sun.
What the hell? What in hell would cause a completely sane person to start eating a newspaper? Did she lose a bet and she said she’d eat this newspaper if she lost, ate it, and then thought it was quite delectable? Even more shocking is the doctor’s claim that the Sun was otherwise not harmful to her health. How can that be? Wouldn’t ink be poisonous, especially after eating it for seven years?
Wow. What else can I say? That’s just messed up.
Doctor Doctor, Gimme the News, I Got A Bad Case of Loving Hospitals
I really hope this guy doesn’t ever get himself actually hurt, because if he does, no hospital in England will believe him. Why? Because he fakes injuries just so he can wear hospital gowns and get off on masks and syringes. He’s assaulted nurses while demanding masks, he’s even bought his own surgical masks so he can get off in the privacy of his own home, and he certainly never gives up, because right after he gets busted for one offense, he calls an ambulance to try again, and gets promptly busted for another one. But I guess he’s become pretty recognizeable, because now nurses can look up his ASBO and send him away. The only way he can get into a hospital is by prior approval, although it doesn’t specify who has to approve him. So now is he going to have to trick other people into vouching for him until he gets what he wants? That wouldn’t surprise me. I’m sure all of this will come back to bite him when he really needs some help.
Let’s Go Down The Robbery Checklist
Hold-up note? Check.
Hood? Check.
Glasses? Check.
Gloves so I won’t leave prints? Check.
Bag for the money?
Uh-oh!
NEW HUDSON, Mich. (AP) – A bank teller apparently flustered a would-be bank robber – and foiled a robbery – after asking where the suspect’s bag was to carry off the money, authorities said.
Oakland County Sheriff’s Detective Tom Bisio said the suspect entered a Chase Bank branch Monday wearing a hooded sweat shirt, sunglasses and winter gloves. He handed the teller a small piece of cardboard that read, “Give me your money.”
“He told a teller to ‘hurry up,’ but when she asked him if he had a bag to put the money into, it must have flustered him,” Bisio told The Detroit News for a story Tuesday. “He ran off without any cash.”
To his credit the guy must have learned something from the ordeal, since he A. hasn’t yet been caught and B. is a suspect in a successful heist later the same day as well as 3 other recent ones in the same area.