At Least he Didn’t Say God Told Him to Do This, Too!

What kind of complete and utter sick freak would put his two-month-old baby in the microwave? This one would! Joshua Royce Mauldin of Arkansas said God told him to come and become a preacher in Texas. While looking for a place to live, he was staying in a hotel. It was also in this time that he decided to put his baby in the microwave for 10-20 seconds. Then he lied to emergency services staff, saying he’d spilled hot coffee on her. Now he’s saying he put her in the microwave because he was under stress.

She’s been taken away, and doctors at a Shriners burns hospital are trying to figure out exactly what her fate will be. Only 3 other children have been burned in a microwave, so they don’t even know what this will do to her. For now, they’re giving her skin grafts, and she’ll go into foster care if she gets better.

What the hell?!?!?! Stress? My ass! I can understand shaking or throwing a baby because you were under stress. It’s no better, but my mind can make the leap. But this was cold and calculating! He had to put the baby in the microwave, press the buttons and hit start! At any point, even a stressed person can stop and go “Hey! What the hell am I thinking?”

All I can say is I’m glad the baby is out of his hands, and I don’t think being a minister is his calling after all.

GUTS, GUTS, Go Away, The Police are Here to Stay!

These people definitely belong in the things that make ya go raaar! pile!

Remember GUTS? If not, here’s a refresher, and an update, yet more greatness, and the final straw.

That was the final straw…until now. Will these people just go away quietly? They’re not serving any practical purpose, and they’re being nothing but a bunch of trouble-makers. Now, they decided that because youths weren’t getting enough service and the police were getting a huge chunk of the budget, the only way to make this point clear was by protesting outside the police ball. And they weren’t just protesting. They were swearing at police, rushing and trampling the police tape that had been set up as the cutoff point beyond which protesters couldn’t go, spitting on police cruisers, blocking traffic on a busy road, and making asses of themselves in general.

Hey, GUTS, the police need their money. All you have to do is look at the amount of drugs sold in Guelph, and the state of the downtown and you should know this. And even if they didn’t need their money, putting on a spectacle that required the intervention of police certainly doesn’t make that point clear, nor does it help your case that youth deserve any more of the pie. Stupid, stupid, stupid! But why should I be surprised?

A Quick Scott Gilbert Update

I figured I should put up an update to the Scott Gilbert story. I guess the charges have been dropped. This is good, in the sense that he didn’t fight the charges, get off, and screw stuff up more. Plus, they’re going to make it so you have to show photo ID to vote at a polling station. This was probably the best way things could work out, since his whole intention was to reveal a loophole, and he was completely honest about doing it once it was done.

Come to My Store and Get a Blueberry Squishy!

I had the weirdest thing happen to me yesterday. I had this giant craving for a slushy. A slushy? Ok then. But it was there, and I was feeling kind of down, so I decided to go get one. So off I went in search of a slushy.

I went to Dairy Queen because I heard they had them, and they did! I got my slushy, and started to drink it, and…I ended up thoroughly disappointed!

I don’t know what exactly it was that disappointed me. It tasted like a slushy should taste, but it tasted diluted and kind of gross. Just when I’d get into it, I would hit a block of crystals that would clog my straw and then it tasted like I was just sucking up snow. I didn’t even finish it because it got kind of boring.

Does anyone else have this happen to them? Or am I the only adult who still gets the occasional craving for a slushy? Have slushies gone down hill, or did they always suck and I was just too much of a kid to notice before? Or am I just loopy?

Now There’s a Scary Thought

This guy is crying discrimination because he can’t have a gun permit. I’m jumping for joy. Why? because he’s blind!

Carey McWilliams claims that he would only use it to shoot someone at point blank range to defend himself, and he thinks he can zero in on someone by sound. Sure, we can be pretty accurate at that stuff, but I don’t trust myself enough to use a gun based on what I can sense, and I would be a fool to do so.

He’s now trying to appeal, and if his appeals expire, he’s planning to file a discrimination claim. But even the ACLU won’t help him. That’s saying something. Dude, it’s not discrimination, it’s common sense! People who can’t see what they’re shooting…shouldn’t be shooting! Hey chief, I think you can find other ways to defend yourself. You don’t need a gun.

I’m Not A Doctor, But I’ve Been Trained By A Few

In my life, I’ve seen plenty of stupid. I’ve also experienced plenty of really stupid, fucking stupid and even a pretty fair dose of mind-blowingly fucking stupid. But never before have I seen something the likes of what I can only call
penis cream stupid.

The story goes like this. A school teacher allowed a random man to attempt over a 9 month period to cure a rash she developed by get this, repeatedly applying an ointment to her using the end of his penis. Why would somebody allow a random man to do this you ask. Well, apparently the random man had talked to a random gynaecologist friend of his who told him that a certain cream administered to the vagina via wang tip at different speeds and for different lengths of time would be just what the doctor ordered. I should also note that this random man would never give up the name of the random gynaecologist when asked, though this didn’t seem to ring any alarm bells or anything.

But wait, there’s more! The teacher also claims that she had to fork over thousands of dollars to pay for the cream, and a
later article
reporting that the case had been thrown out of court also mentioned that her mother didn’t figure this out either and had helped pay for the treatments as well.

It wasn’t made clear why the case was dismissed, but to me, one thing is for certain. Based on what I’ve seen here, this woman should not be teaching anybody anything. If she’s telling the truth, it means that the clinically brain-dead are helping to shape the futures of our children. If she’s not, it still means that the clinically brain-dead are helping to shape the futures of our children. she’s either dumb enough to pay for 9 months worth of rape or she thinks that the rest of us are dumb enough to think she did, which should, in a sane world, elicit the same reaction either way.

You expect who to do what?

Raaaar! That’s what this news story made me do when I saw it on the 6:00 news.

Apparently, suicide is the leading cause of death in people ages 10-24. 10? good lord! That’s not the part that makes me go raaar. This is. The school system has decided that they need to educate all the kids in how to look for signs of suicidal thought in their friends so *they* can catch it before it’s too late. Then they had this little kid on the news saying, “I never knew the signs, but now I know, so now I can watch.”

Are you starting to feel your head spin slowly? For me, it was a gradual bubbling of rage. It started off as sort of perplexing, then slightly disturbing, then I felt like I was going to explode. Why are we making children watch for signs of this in other children? Isn’t that a little too much responsibility to put on the poor kids? Isn’t it the job of Little Johnny’s parents to notice when Little Johnny is falling off the rails? I know that a person is more likely to tell their friends these things than their parents, but at 10, I don’t think it’s right or fair to be having kids watching out to see if their friends might try and jump off a bridge. It’s hard enough for adults to see the signs, and the way kids blame themselves for stuff that isn’t even their fault, I think it’s pretty shitty to put this burden on their shoulders. Am I wrong to feel upset that this is being expected of kids as young as 10? Do I not give them enough credit? Does this seem right to anyone?