Ooo! I Hit a Nerve!

Wow! People read us for other reasons than a stop on their journey for the holy grail that is Randy Orton’s penis! I got chomped in the comments section under my post about MADD, and I think it needs addressing up here. So here it is, from Lisa.

I work for MADD and you seem to have your information wrong. Our name is Mothers Against Drunk Driving, but we are NOT all mothers. We are concerned citizens made up of mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc. that want to make a difference in our communities and end the violent crime of drunk driving. Our founders name that started MADD in 1980 was Candy Lightner. You should check out the website @ www.madd.org and get the facts correct. And you should think about becoming involved instead of pointing fingers. MADD’s mission is to stop drunk driving, support the victims of this violent crime and prevent underage drinking.

Allrighty, let’s begin with a clarification. I was referring to MADD Canada in that post. If you go to their site’s history section, you will indeed find that it was co-founded by a man named Jhon Bates, just like I said, aman who was kicked from his post in disgrace for the squandering of over half of each fund-raising dollar. I like the work they do, I just don’t appreciate that after it is known to be the no. 1 charity for fund-raising, I find out that only $0.44 of every dollar actually goes to that good work. The rest goes to either administrative costs or back to the people who might have called me during dinner or pounded on my door to guilt me into giving some money for this good work. I’m glad to give it, I just want to know it *is* going where it’s supposed to. Maybe MADD U.S. doesn’t have this problem, but MADD Canada sure does.

Second, if it’s supposed to be concerned citizens, why don’t you call yourselves something that reflects that? That was all I was saying in my wacky post. Last time I checked, Steve or John was never someone’s mom. If they want to be a concerned citizen, totally cool. Go Steve and John, go!

And finally, now you’ve angered me. Do *not* tell me that I should get more involved. I think volunteering at 3 charitable organizations and donating to additional causes is quite enough community involvement thank you. I’m not asking for a medal, but if I’m not supposed to “point fingers,” maybe you shouldn’t either.

Thanks for the comment. It made me correct an error. And thanks for reading. I like a little debate now and then.

This is Great!

Jen sent me this, and I love it! I love making fun of chain letters and virus hoaxes, and this email manages to make fun of them both simultaneously. So here it is.

If you receive an email entitled “Bedtimes” delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it . Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR, and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD’s you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto dial to call only 1-900 numbers. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING. It will drink ALL your beer.

FOR GOD’S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING??

It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company. It will replace your shampoo with Nair (hair remover) and your Nair with Rogaine (hair growth) . If the “Bedtimes” message opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.

***
WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. *** And if you don’t send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds, you’ll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you.
Send this warning to everyone!!!
THERE’S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD!
Right now, as you read this, 17 Million people are having SEX!!!
And look at you, – You’re on the bloody computer!!!!

I love all the ridiculous details, right down to the dire warnings and mention of all the sadness in the world. And these things still go around. Aside from the newbs who don’t know better, why do they keep making the rounds? Come on people, see the pattern!

Comments Are Working Again

Whatever issues the commenting system was having seem to be all cleared up now, so feel free to use it again. But if you’d rather email, that’s fine too. Sometimes email is better anyway, especially if you’ve got something that you really don’t want us to miss, like an update to something we’ve written about, things you think we might like to check out and possibly put up here, or even poorly typed hatemail that will probably end up on the main page with some added mentions of your impaired mental abilities.

So to sum up, comments are great, but if you want to yell at a specific person, you can find the correct address at the end of each post. Or if you’d rather yell at all of us at once to save time, just click on our names, which you can find near the top of each page.

Have a great day, and always remember that humans really aren’t all that different from any other animal on the planet. The only thing that really separates us from them is that we have recipes and they don’t.

Put A Cork In That Bottle

I have a question for anyone out there who happens to be either a sportswriter, broadcaster or an editor. Is there a regulation somewhere stating that every time Tampa Bay plays a hockey game, you are required to use the words “bottle Lightning” when reporting on it??

If the answer is no, then I also have a request. Please, stop doing it! It might have been cute once, but that once was sometime in 1992, and that was 15 years ago. Now, thousands of headlines and sportscasts later, it’s just annoying, and you should really start trying to be creative now, even though doing so goes against everything your industries stand for.

I’ve Never Seen That Before.

Haloscan appears to be puking all over itself in a whole new way. When you open the comment window and write a masterpiece, it lets you post it, and then cries “I can’t save it!” and spews all manner of error code at you. I have no idea why this is happening, hopefully it’ll just go away on its own because I can’t find a reference to this anywhere. Until it does, well, our email addresses are everywhere, so if it pukes on you, drop us a line through the email.

Holy Blood, Holy Grail, Holy Shit You Must Like Legal Bills!

These imbeciles are appealing their DaVinci Code Lawsuit! Why can’t they just quit while they’re…behind I guess? They already owe about $2 million of Randomhouse’s legal bills, plus their own! Face it dudes, you’re done! I wish I could find the page number where their book is clearly mentioned, and save the courts, the judge, and these poor fools a whole ton of time and money.

I Hope The Pay Is Good

No matter how hard I try, I can’t get my head around
this story.
I’ve been sitting here trying to write it up for about the last 10 minutes and I just can’t make it sound right, so I’ll let the story do the talking and throw in comments where I must.

LONDON (AP) – As a painter needs a canvas and a sculptor stone, Blane Dickinson needs a head.

Specifically, the 32-year-old tattoo artist from Wales needs a person willing to have their head tattooed. The subject? The iconic “full English” breakfast. Ideally, the image would contain fried eggs, bacon and sausages, but Dickinson is willing to accommodate personal taste and vegetarians. The breakfast typically also includes baked beans, fried tomatoes and toast.

“It’s such a striking and recognizable dish,” he said, “but I will gladly make changes to suit any taste or background.”

A knife and fork would be tattooed behind the subject’s ears, Dickinson said.

“I like to push the boundaries,” he said. “I like to make people think.”

What he doesn’t realize is that most people are probably thinking “hmmm, that fucker ain’t right.”

Dickinson hopes to display the finished work at tattoo shows in Britain, but said that, so far, he has been unable to persuade any friends to take part.

And this, for some reason, seems to come as a surprise to him. Don’t ask me why. No seriously, don’t ask me why, because I haven’t a clue.

Did You See That Thing with the Guy on the Show There?

Um, this is dumb. Dumb and doomed to fail. A coalition of agencies that fight for the protection of prostitutes in Vancouver is sending letters to the media saying that reporters shouldn’t use Robert Pickton’s name when they talk about him during his upcoming trial so that he doesn’t get some kind of celebrity status from the coverage. Instead they should only refer to the whole thing as “the trial in the case of the missing women. This is apparently so he won’t be motivated to do it again for more hype.

Ok, first, it’s highly unlikely that people aren’t going to know who it was who killed prostitutes on his pig farm and then spread their remains throughout the farm. It isn’t likely that people are going to get confused as to who they’re talking about. It’s not exactly an everyday occurrence. So, what’s the point of not using his name? Either you get a whole publication ban, or you cover something like normal. I don’t know what they’re hoping to accomplish by just referring to Pickton as “that guy.” It’s far, far too late to prevent people from knowing who he is. I mean, look at how the courtroom was packed when they scheduled his trial. And that was just for the scheduling of his trial. People know.

And second, I doubt he’ll be getting out to be able to do this again. He’s on trial for six women’s deaths so far. I know that prostitutes’ lives may not be given the value that they should, but he’s on trial for six murders. He’ll be in for a long, long time. Plus, when he goes to jail, I doubt he’ll survive his sentence because the other prisoners will probably be out to get him. He’s done. They caught him. He’s not going to do this again. This whole not saying his name is silliness.

I hope the media doesn’t cave and they look at the letter for what it is. Ridiculous! It made me laugh that in the letter itself, they used his name several times. Way to shoot yourself in the foot. What a waste of time.